It was raining

October 13 was as long as a day could be. Longer than expected, but shorter than desired, which was good. I did what I did any other day, I didn’t want to change that routine as I knew that was going to take quite a turn for the future. I enjoyed the last time doing these activities, as I knew much more exciting ones awaited. I was to meet with my father after a long time of not knowing him. I had made my amends already and I was ready to move on. Ever since 6 o’clock that night I could feel mu eagerness fuel my spirit for that rush that would feel to be set free to forge my destiny, alongside my father of course. Little did I really know about him, just word of the people, but I trusted him, nonetheless. I talked to him all that time between 6 and 8 o’clock. Never had I spoken so much to someone without really knowing that person. It was pleasant and full of love, knowledge and meaning. The night came falling more and more as we approached October 14. So was the excitement I didn’t even know the year. Ironic, really, how a day I had marked in my calendar for millenia could have gotten mixed up in my head as to not remember the year, but no matter, I just knew it was finally here. I had had visions about this, premonitions, of me soaring all across the sky looking for new adventures to pursue. Everyone thought I was just bullshitting, telling them all the things I’d do. I think they were just jealous, that’s all, that I had already made up my mind. It’s not weird these days to find those who don’t know what they want from life. I was just happy I did know. Or at least I think I did. Once your mind gets infected with an idea, it stays there, like a parasite, consuming you. Mine wasn’t that way. It was a symbiotic relationship, now, I convinced myself it was that way. Those walls I was enclosed in, were just hours away of serving no purpose again, apart from keeping that space from crumbling. I’ve always been a romantic, exaggerating that which was ordinary and elating it into this fantastic occurrence or being, just so I could give life a different taste. However, this, oh yes this, was no exaggeration. The adventure that was beheld against me was something else, let me say. When you know, you know, I say. And if you don’t know, well, at least once you thought you did. As I sat in bed all night without getting a single minute of sleep, I kept on thinking on what next morning had waiting. I could feel my heart racing, my body trembling and my mind go wild at all the possibilities of what would follow that sunny morning in Livingston. Or was it Verdansk? It made no difference, as that would become irrelevant. I sang, I danced, I exercised, I prayed, I jumped up and down, right to left, anything that would make that dreaded night go faster so I could finally know what there was next, not that I didn’t know. Suddenly, I could feel my soul lift up, as in a dream, and soar its way up into the clouds. I could see what had been of this world and what could’ve been if things worked out a different way and hoped I could do something about it, but all I could change was my own world, hence the importance of all those years of studying and dedicating my mind, body, and spirit to reaching this newly adopted manner of living. The impatience was killing me, bit by nit, bringing me to my knees, imploring that time would go faster than it did according to those laws that rule us. Although, time is relative I’d tell myself, not exactly sure I believed that myself, but anything to soothe my overwhelming desire to escape. My friend was waiting, though I wasn’t exactly sure if he cared or not, but if he was there than I didn’t care. This was a moment I had been waiting for so long, ever since I was a young man, making my way into the world. It was 4:30 in the morning, when that weak but warm ray of light began to meddle in between the night sky, as I was picturing how beautiful it would be if it were always like that. First knock on the door. I couldn’t stay still. The time is coming, the loop is closing, the gates will open any second now, to me, a man, to this new world not up to the reach of anyone. Second knock on the door and I threw myself on the floor wishing it would break open and I could find my way to my destiny. If I lied down long enough, I’d say, the floor will indeed open and set me on to my journey, beautiful as it will be. Then, my friend came for me, my pal, at the third knock on the door, my companion for more than 10 years. Excitedly, I held my pal’s arm as we strolled down that long hallway up to that scene where my time to shine had come. I felt those coarse but welcoming hands surround muy neck in a gentle but firm manner, as I closed my eyes, with tears streaming down my face, feeling the sun’s warmth on my cheeks, when finally the floor broke and I could float above it. Death had finally come, and redemption with it. I was ready to meet my maker, I had repented and turned myself in to him and his grace, to his everlasting embrace that would hold and caress me, like I had imagined for more than Gos knows how much time, until it all turned into darkness and nothingness. It was raining.