A Change of Heart

1.

She was a young attractive woman with dark short hair and brown eyes. Named after her paternal grandmother whom she looked very much like, Lena was currently in need of drastic saving from a dilemma she got herself into exactly three months ago.

As she stared at the window, contemplating what time the sun would set, she ticked June 21st on her pocket calendar signifying the end of another day of the torture she was in, torture she never dreamt she would find herself in. 

Still in her reverie, Lena heard the backdoor open and she knew it was her grandmother and little cousin coming back from their outing. She also knew the one question she would be asked. Her grandmother was just as stubborn as her mother and there was no doubt it was the same stubbornness that flowed through her veins as well.

“Did you come out today Lena?” her grandmother’s croaky voice filled the tiny room. “No Gran. I didn’t and I won’t until it’s over. So don’t bother asking again”. Her grandmother only smiled and came closer to give her a perk on her cheek. She never went further on the topic and Lena found comfort in her understanding. Ever since the first day she got to Gran Lena’s house, they had only spoken about her condition once. It wasn’t a lovely episode, and she did her best not to remember the anger and sadness that passed through Gran Lena’s eyes and mouth that fateful day. She knew she had failed her and her resolve to act the way she now did was part of the punishment she gave herself for what she had done.

2.

“… So dude when have you decided to see her?” Samuel was chewing on his hamburger like his life depended on it, and as usual, he had no problem talking while eating even if it meant some of what was in his mouth spilled over. “Can you just finish eating and drinking before we have this conversation?” Eddy asked his best friend irritably. He was tired of correcting his poor eating habit as he was tired of thinking about Lena for over the past three months since she dropped the bombshell on him.

What did she think? That he would gladly accept her news and have his life turn upside down suddenly because of her. He thought he loved her, but after the way he reacted to her news, he knew he had no right to talk about love. What was he even thinking? The thoughts jumped all over his head that he didn’t see Samuel throw the Malt Can at him until he felt the tin hit him hard on his head. “And what was that for”, he asked starring at his friend angrily. He was losing his patience with everyone and everything around him, and he had Lena’s news to blame.

“Relax dude. I was just trying to get your attention since you were staring into space and had completely forgotten there was a human being by your side. Anyways have you thought about doing the wise thing? Samuel asked him the question like he was addressing a child. Eddy looked at his friend and saw the concern behind his harsh question. “I wish I know what the wise thing to do was. I’m confused, man. Remember I just got offered a job far away, and you know I haven’t even sorted out how I would be living. I don’t need any baggage right now. You know that”. He felt his temper rising as he spoke and it took all the self-control he could muster to speak more calmly. Samuel looked directly into his eye and this time around spoke in a low and somewhat sympathetic tone to his friend. “You are looking at this the wrong way. Allow me to enlighten you young man on what you should do”

Eddy smiled at his best friend. He knew Samuel was trying to lighten the mood by calling him ‘young man’. At the same time, he knew his friend was trying to help. With that settled in his mind, he listened as his friend not only pointed out the foolishness of his previous ways but told him what to do as regards Lena. 

3.

Gabriella walked briskly as she neared the house. She had left about an hour ago and she knew what her crime was. It wasn’t supposed to take long but Lucy always kept her longer than she planned to stay. Aunty Lena would be very upset with her and she knew she had every right to be. But what she didn’t understand was the pact Aunty Lena has made with herself, not bothering to think for a moment about how it affected those around her.

“Who chooses to allow themselves locked up in a room all day just because of one offence? I am tired of being her errand girl” Gabriella thought to herself as she opened the backdoor of the house. “What took you so long Gabriella? I have been waiting for you. You said you’ll only be a minute, that’s why I asked you to help me.” “Well, it’s not like you had a choice if I decided not to go” Gabriella hissed back as she gave her the items she was sent to buy. 

Lena was shocked at her little cousin’s hurtful words and felt a tear drop down her eyes. Her little cousin saw her as an unnecessary burden and she couldn’t blame her. It was all her fault. She had brought the insult on herself. But her resolve remained, no insult will make her revert her punishment. 

She thought back to how she got herself into her current situation in the first place, and the lies she had believed as the truth came ringing in her ears.

 “It’s nothing wrong, Lena... I love you so much... 

Once I get settled down, we’ll get married, so it’s the same thing… 

Our friends have been doing it, so please don’t see it as a big deal…

 I promise I’ll be careful and you like it so much you might want me to keep doing it…”

Those lies almost made her feel faint as she remembered them again. Eddy was no good. He never loved her. She looked at the years spent with him as a big waste. If only they had just parted without her having to bear this heavy load. Now she was three months along with his child, and he had told her he didn’t want anything to do with her or her ‘whore child’. How betrayed she felt. He was her first, and she had given him everything. He gave her shame in return. She had to stop schooling because somehow the school authority found out. Not able to stand her parent’s anger, she had run into the arms of Gran Lena. Here she was, and the choice to keep the baby against her parent’s command to abort was looking bleaker by the day.

Still lost in her thoughts, she heard a car horn in front of the house. Gran Lena rode the bus, and rarely had visitors. Before she had time to think about who it could be, she heard a knock on the door. There was no way she was going to open the door for anyone. “Gabriella!! Could you please check who’s at the door?” she called out walking to her grandma’s room where Gabriella was likely to be. On getting there, she found it empty. “When did Gabriella leave? Was I so lost in my past that I didn’t hear her leave?” Not knowing where she had gone, Lena chose to ignore the knock and hope that whoever was knocking would get the hint that nobody was at home and leave. At that moment she remembered her folly. Whoever was knocking may have heard her call out Gabriella. What was she going to do? It was mid-afternoon and she knew her grandmother wasn’t going to come anytime soon.

Resolving to get it over with, and deal with whoever was out there, Lena walked to the door to open it. She had forgotten how the front doors worked given that Gran Lena had installed some new set of locks they weren’t used to yet. She thought of asking the unknown visitor to go through the back door, but her paranoia took in. She couldn’t see the person so she didn’t think it was wise to ask that of the visitor. 

Just as she finally got a hang of the locks and opened the door, the first thing she felt was the hot breeze on her skin. As she tried to adjust her eyes to the brightness of the sunlight she was no longer used to, she found out that the visitor was a male. Not seeing the face of the visitor properly yet trying to be friendly all the same, Lena offered her hand quickly and was about to inform the guest that her grandmother was not at home. On seeing who it was, her words got stuck in her mouth. 

***

The visitor took her hand and gestured her forward. The visitor was crying. The visitor was a huge male. He had been the first and only man she had ever loved. She was looking at Eddy, and he looked different. He wasn’t the same man who walked her out of his life and rejected the life they had both mistakenly created. She saw a different man. To make sure she was seeing clearly, Lena ignored the rules of her self-punishment and took slow steps into the sunshine.