Defying Gravity

It was a long travel day. Waking up at dawn, catching the subway to the airport, only to learn about the two-hour delay. They settled in at the gate, Adam with a newspaper and Naomi scrolling her mobile. When it was finally boarding time, they were suddenly aware of each other again, double checking for tickets, shuffling into place on the plane. Adam remained optimistic, ready to share his truth in the proper setting.

Climbing into their rental car finally, Adam made easy banter to ease the tension, reminding her about the soaking pools, the luxury cabins.

“Let’s take one of these side roads and do a quick change of clothes?” Adam said.

When a winding dirt road became visible up ahead, Adam took it, parking near an outcropping of rock. He turned off the engine and hopped out into the balmy late afternoon.

“Wow. It’s warm,” she said, opening the lid to her water bottle and taking a big swallow.

Adam opened the trunk with the key, zipped open his duffle bag looking for a fresh t-shirt and pair of shorts. Naomi joined him at the rear of the car, finding a loose-fitting dress and a pair of sandals.

“Here, hold this,” she said, shoving her water bottle into his chest and sitting on the edge of the trunk to remove her shoes.

Peeling off her clothes and tossing them into the trunk, she pulled a dress over her head, strapped on her sandals and tied her loose hair into a ponytail. Adam had wandered off to loosen his limbs. Naomi jumped up from her perch, turned to close the trunk and skipped over to where Adam was standing. Relieved to see a lightness come over his wife, he grabbed her hand for a short walk.

 ~~~~~~~~~~

“What is it?”

Adam’s face had changed as they neared the rental car on their return. One minute they were laughing and then he was suddenly silent. 

“The key,” he said. 

“What about the key, Adam?”

“In my haste to change clothes, I opened the trunk and threw the keys in to free my hands to open my duffle. I guess I left them there and uh…”

“And I closed the trunk when we left on our walk,” Naomi finished his sentence.

Adam hustled towards the car. Finding an open window, he reached in to unlock the door. He climbed into the back seat in a panic.

“I think I can maybe squeeze my hand through the rear seat cushion and into the trunk. If so…” he said, as he started manhandling the back seat and sliding his hand through the space between the cushions. Adam caught up in frenetic pursuit. He was grunting, up to his right armpit by now as his left hand tugged at the seat.

 “Don’t get stuck, baby!” Naomi warned.

 Suddenly, he yelled out.

“There they are! I can just barely reach, I can feel...”

He was sliding his arm free now, dangling keys in front of her face and laughing with glee.

“Got ‘em!”

Elated, they shook it off, jumped into the car and headed for the main highway.

“Oh, damn,” Adam said a few minutes later. 

“What?” 

“That was really stupid,” he said. “You’re not gonna believe this. Look!”

Naomi leaned forward and shook her head, unable to see it. 

“This!” he said. “The quick-release lever to pop open the trunk!” he said with an embarrassed laugh. 

“Are you kidding me? We could have just…” she said.  

They laughed together over the blunder. They usually got into arguments over this sort of thing. Played the blame game. They both recognized this subtle shift as they approached the exit for the retreat center, and each were quietly grateful for it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Naomi Eisen bumped into Adam’s life on a rainy afternoon years ago as they hurried to get indoors to attend a Y2K lecture at a downtown hotel. 

“After you,” he had said to her when they approached the revolving door at the same moment. Naomi stopped inside the lobby to remove her coat. And to see where he was heading. When she noticed he was going where she was going, she quickened her pace to catch him.

“You want to sit together? I like having someone to compare notes with,” she blurted out boldly.

Adam wasn’t about to say no to this beautiful redhead walking beside him so the two ended up sitting together for the lecture. Then at the hotel bar for another two hours after. “Comparing notes.” Exchanging biographies. Clinking glasses filled with scotch on the rocks.

“If you ask me,” Naomi started, “It’s all just hype over nothing. The powers that be like to put us on edge. Keep an upper hand,” she said. 

“Well, that’s healthy skepticism. I agree. So. Why did we come to this gratuitous lecture, if that’s what we think?” he asked, with a laugh. 

“To meet each other,” Naomi said, as she swiveled her barstool around, stood, grabbed her purse and excused herself to freshen up in the ladies’ room. Adam rolled the ice around in his glass, took the last sip and pondered his next move. She was sassy, assertive, confident. By the time she returned with a fresh swath of red lipstick, he still hadn’t figured it out. 

“Want to grab some dinner? I know a great Thai place on Market Street,” she proposed. “We could walk, looks like the rain let up.” 

~~~~~~~~~~

Shiloh-la was a dusty little town set against a backdrop of towering red rock and big sky. A general store. A two-pump gas station. A couple of old-timers leaning against an old pick-up. High desert. Low action. They spotted signage for the retreat center, turning down a dirt road. Three miles later, pulling into the parking area and turning off the engine, Adam heaved a sigh of relief. He looked over at Naomi and smiled as he reached for the release lever for the trunk.

“Magic,” she said.  

Climbing out of the car, they walked towards the main lodge. A commingling of incense and freshly baked cookies filled the air as they approached a pristinely beautiful young woman dressed in all white, a wrapping of dreadlocks resting in an immense spiral atop her head. Her face lit up from within.  

“Welcome,” she said softly. 

“How are you,” Adam said. “We’re checking in today? The Berg’s.” 

After looking at her computer, the young woman set a key down and slid it across the counter towards Adam. 

“I’m Chandra. If you need anything, please let me know,” she said, flashing a bright smile revealing a perfect row of teeth and dimples. Naomi nudged Adam with her foot to break him from the spell this woman seemed to have over him.

Naomi sat on the edge of the bed, retreat flyer in hand.

Learn to fly in the face of gravity, release inhibitions, dump heavy baggage. Bonus: Learn the ancient practice of physical levitation!

She had been reluctant but Adam finally wore her down. The marriage had been in trouble for a while. They had tried everything reasonable, studied and proven to get their love back on track. He had read all the books. Seen all the therapists. Now it was time to defy the gravity of the situation. 

 ~~~~~~~~~~

The dining room inside the lodge was set up buffet style and was filled with people of all ages, mostly sitting on the floor. They filled their plates from the delightful array and found a place to perch on the edge of the room. Returning for a plate from the dessert table and leaving Naomi alone on their cushioned lair, he came back to find her with a middle-aged man with a graying blonde topknot.

“Here,” Adam said, handing Naomi the plate.

“I’m Adam. Naomi’s husband.” He reached his hand towards the stranger.

“Blessings,” the stranger said, placing his hand into Adam’s. “Zain.”

Zain displayed a beatific presence and as Adam released his hand, he felt a warmth tingle up his arm and into his chest. 

Zain rose gracefully from the floor, pressed his palms together, bowed and took his leave, padding across the floor barefoot and lithe, moving like a man half his age. Adam watched Naomi watching Zain cross the room and disappear through the doors. Dropping a forkful of pie into her mouth, she rolled her eyes in bliss, slowly savoring every bit.

 ~~~~~~~~~~

The two ambled to the Great Room the next morning, past the soaking pools and hiking paths. Entering the workshop space, they set up in the third row, a turbaned, bearded man sat in silence on a raised altar in front of them. Naomi tried to follow along but found herself opening one eye every few seconds to peek at what was going on around her. Her mind was wandering all over the place. Before she could get still, a giant gong sounded, startling her.

“Welcome. I am Pradeep. I will be your escort on this journey,” he said.

Naomi cocked her head towards Adam, raising her eyebrows.

“We will learn some traditional chants to cleanse our bodies of the debris that weighs us down then sit in silence for twenty minutes to open more space internally to receive spirit,” he began.

“Twenty minutes!” Naomi gasped.

“You will hear the gong three times and that is your cue to open your eyes. I will then lead you in a Pranayama exercise and a second meditation. We will end each day with Satsang.”

Naomi nudged Adam with her elbow but he ignored her. Naomi didn’t know what Pradeep was talking about. She felt eyes on her and turning to look over her right shoulder, saw Zain sitting erect and serene, looking straight at her with a knowing smile.

~~~~~~~~~~

 “I really need this hike after all that sitting,” Naomi said.

“Nay. It’s not ‘sitting.’ It’s meditating.”

“No, Adam. It’s ‘clearing out space to receive spirit’,” she laughed.

 Adam reached over to take his wife’s face into his hands and drew her in for a kiss. 

 ~~~~~~~~~~

Zain had been the resident handyman for nine years at Levity Retreat Center and had no designs on leaving anytime soon. He had eschewed the responsibilities of “real” life in exchange for a simpler existence. He and Naomi had hit it off and Adam took a backseat in his company, observing the two in lighthearted banter.

“Are you enjoying your time at Levity?” Zain asked Adam.

“Sure,” he said, “It’s different.”

Suddenly, a thundering sound filled the dining room as a crowd of seated guests jumped to their feet, surrounding a gale force moving across the dining room. Adam and Naomi gawked to see what all the fuss was about.

“That’s Baba,” Zain said. 

A loud thud filled the air as the devotees fell to the floor to reveal the mysterious Baba, now seated in a throne-like chair. Some were touching and kissing his bare feet. Others stared up in adulation. He was a wisp of a man, five feet tall, no more than ninety pounds with black hair tied up in a topknot.

“Who’s Baba?” Adam inquired.

“Baba Hanuman Prabhā Dass, our resident guru, the founder of Levity,” Zain said.

“What’s that hanging around his neck?” Adam asked. 

Zain answered, “His slate.”

Naomi and Adam looked at each other.

“His chalkboard. It’s how he expresses his thoughts. Or answers questions. He hasn’t spoken for twenty-seven years. He’s taken a vow of silence,” Zain explained.

“What!” Naomi blurted out. “I can’t imagine not speaking for twenty-seven seconds, much less twenty-seven years,” Naomi laughed.

“Try it sometime,” Zain said, and stood to leave, pressing his palms together with a slight bow.

Setting their plates aside, the couple compared notes on Baba, his group of devotees and others seated around the room. Buddhists and Boomers. Skinny young vegans. Middle-aged women in flowing saris co-opting another culture. Young families escaping the poverty line and thriving in this spiritual community, their barefoot, mop-top children running around freely expressing themselves.

Suddenly a thunderous roar exploded across the room as Baba stood, his entourage enveloping him in a blanket of devotion as he swiftly exited the room.

He’s a whirlwind of energy!” Adam said. “How does a little man like that command such audience?”

“What? How does a little man like that make so much noise when he walks across a room!” Naomi said and leaned into Adam.

“Seems to me, he needs that Lightness of Being workshop more than we do!” she joked.

~~~~~~~~~~

“I finished the book,” she said. “The Unbearable Lightness of Being,” she started to tell Adam as they rested on a boulder.

“The story is about how life is essentially light and we apply heaviness to it in our anguish over making the right choices. Our doubts about what we didn’t choose haunt us. Would those choices have led us someplace better? Worse? We can’t ever know.

The characters cannot find meaning in their lives because of this unknowing, rendering the life they chose as utterly weightless, meaningless. So light it becomes…unbearable. See, Tomáš, he has lovers and his wife, Teraza, she knows but can’t do anything to change him so she just deals with it.”

“Naomi…” Adam began.

“In the book, he can’t help himself. He has to have them all so he can know meaning. It’s that dichotomy of…”

“I had an affair,” Adam blurted out.

Her mouth was open, her last sentence hanging incomplete.

“Two years ago. I had an affair. I’ve wanted to tell you for a long time, I just couldn’t find the right time,” he said.

“And now was the right time?”

She grabbed her daypack, threw it over her right shoulder and began walking towards the trail in the direction of the lodge without him.

~~~~~~~~~~

Adam called Naomi’s cell and wandered the grounds. Returning to an empty cabin, he threw himself onto the bed, he saw the book on the nightstand. He grabbed it and opened to the first page. He was swiftly drawn in until he realized he had just five minutes to get to the afternoon session.

Adam entered the workshop space. There she was. In the front row, sitting erect on her cushion, eyes closed in meditation, her hair pulled up in a tousled bun resting lightly atop her head. Something was different about her. The room was full and he would have to find a seat in the back. He arranged his cushion and sat. He inhaled deeply and exhaled, letting go of desperation. Inhaled. Exhaled, releasing fear. Inhaled. Exhaled regret. Inhale. Exhale.

Inhaling Love. Exhaling. Inhaling Light. Exhaling. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Naomi quickly stood and left the room. She didn’t look around to see if he was there. Adam opened his water bottle and took a small sip, unable to move. He watched the guests filtering out of the Great Room, some moving slowly. Solo. Others engaged in joyful exchange. He wondered why they were here for this weekend. What were they setting free? An older man approached Adam, sat down next to him and introduced himself as Jack. Adam posed the question that was on his mind.

“I came because I had to. To lose the weight,” Jack said, as though it was a diet program they were attending.

“I lost my wife to Cancer last year,” he continued. “The burden of my grief has been unbearable.”

Adam blinked.

“I cheated on my wife. Our marriage has been in a downward slide ever since,” he said, turning to Jack. “I’m sorry. That must seem terrible to you. But it’s the truth. And I don’t know how to make it right.” 

Adam felt a purging of negative energy dissolve and exit his body.

“Does she know?”

“I told her this morning.”

“The truth shall set you free,” Jack said.

“It might be setting my wife free. From me,” Adam said.

Jack was patting Adam on the knee.

“You’ll find the key,” he said. 

~~~~~~~~~

Adam was soaking in the hot pools when a storm whipped up from nowhere. Climbing out of the pool, he grabbed his robe and threw it on. Running back to the cabin, he arrived at the door just as Naomi came running up behind him. Adam pulled his key from the pocket of his robe and opened the door.

“After you,” he said.

“Let’s talk,” she said, walking past him, sitting down on the bed and patting the space next to her.

Adam, stunned and eager, sat right down.

“Adam. I knew you had the affair. I’ve been waiting for you to tell me. I understood it, with everything that was happening. But it still hurt,” she said. “What I don’t understand is why you decided to tell me here? Now.” 

A flash of lightning filled the sky outside their window.

“It was time,” he said.

He reached to move a strand of red hair off her face, leaving his hand resting on her cheek.

“What can I do to make this right? Give me the key. I can’t find it on my own,” he said.

She touched his hand and guided it from her face to the center of her chest, resting her hand on top of his. 

“Adam. You don’t need a key. There is a quick-release lever, right here. It’s been here the whole time,” Naomi said.

~~~~~~~~~~

As Adam finished packing the car, he turned to her.

 “Why do you think we couldn’t levitate?”

“Look around. This place is solid rock. It’s full of weight. It seems to me… this place is suggesting we become more grounded. It’s not urging us to fly,” she said, laughing. 

Zain was suddenly there to say goodbye, coming in for a hug.

“Heading back to “reality?” he laughed.

As Adam climbed into the car, Zain slipped Naomi something. As she tucked it into her jeans pocket, she gave him a wink.