A mans unjust world

TW: violence against women

Men have desires, truths about them that they keep hidden. Some men have a killer instinct, some are fueled by greed, others have sexual fantasies that are too deprived for the average person. Their fantasies stay hidden in thoughts, but never spoken. 

What is it I desire? I am a simple man. I desire the pleasure of a woman. My favorite type of women are those with brown hair, combined with innocent eyes, like a sheep to the slaughter. My desire led me to even pick up a woman and invite her in my passenger seat. I learned that her name was Kate from the brief conversation we had. She had a mother and father, not only that I found out she had siblings who cared for her.

My thoughts raced, like kids competing to reach the end of the finish line. The mention of her family faltered my judgement. Her family seemed nice, and kind, but I felt my desires pushing my foot on the gas, keeping the car moving deeper into the woods, out of sight, no witnesses to watch my demon come out. What else could I say? I knew I was sick, but my inner hunger needed to feed and she would be the sacrifice. She would be the last one, at least for me.

“Are you still listening to me, mister?” Her voice was sweet, like butter melting on the ears or the sound of being next to a waterfall. I turned to her with a smile on my face, almost like I was beginning to laugh, it was awkward as the moment passed. I could tell I made her somewhat uneasy, by not answering her question.

“Yes I am listening, you were talking about your family. Am I right?” She giggled a little. I smirked. I pitied her naivete, trusting a man that she met online. She thought we were having a picnic dinner in the moonlight, as we admired the constellations in the sky. 

“Oh and here I thought I had you all figured out. You're not like the other men I’ve dated, there’s something about you. You have a spark, a twinkle in your eye. I just can’t put my finger on it.” She was right about one thing. I am not like the other guys she’s met and I would be the last. 

 I kept giving her small talk as we made our way to my destination. A place quiet, a place where bodies could disappear. I made sure to pick a rebel girl, one who thought she was too cool to listen to her parents. A rebel who flew too close to the sun, my sun and I would burn her alive.

My heart was pounding as I put my gloves on when exiting my car. I was ready to kill her. I knew I was going to murder her, I just didn't know how she would react. I had killed enough people to know that each person has their own way of accepting their own death. I was the key to her omega. 

We made our way deeper into the forest. “Where are we-” Her lips were silenced by mine, as I pinned her to the tree. It was a quick kiss, as she tried to push me back. I could tell she had some fight in her, it was admirable. I bit her lip, I could taste her blood as it approached my tongue. 

I loved the fearful aroma of my victims. I knew I was wrong, I just couldn’t help myself. I threw her to the ground, positioning myself on top of her hips. My hands gripped her neck. I felt her trying to fight back, her nails dug into my clothes, but I made sure I wasn’t cut. I couldn’t risk leaving evidence.  

“Just let it out, let it happen. It will all be over soon enough.” Chills ran down my back, as adrenaline ran through me. I stared into her eyes, watching herself leave her body. When her body became limp, when the struggle stopped I got up. I was a monster, but I would always remember to close their eyes. I wasn’t a religious man, but my parents were and I guess the teachings stuck.  

The only thing I kept of her was her hair, it smelt like flowers. The hair was like a prize. Not the most rewarding one, but a prize nonetheless. The young ladies would usually give me a struggle, something to fight, but Kate, it seemed like she accepted her fate. It’s hard to defy fate, especially when you swim against it. 

The worst thing about killing is the clean up, especially lifting the body, it’s like holding a pile of bricks, not good for the back that’s for sure. Kate’s body was fresh so I didn’t have to worry about the smell. When I first started I had to leave the bodies and come back for them, it was like spoiled milk mixed with rotting eggs, not a pleasant odor. 

I disposed of Kate, giving her a small ceremony as I buried her. It was not her fault I was a monster or that she had to die, it was my sick desires that lead to her outcome. I regretted it, mourned it, but I could not stop. I was a train with no brakes on a track straight into a collision, one that would leave many scars, not just mine, but scars for those who rode the train. I knew I would never stop, so I came up with a solution. I told myself Kate would be the last and she would be. I took a gun out of my pocket, a revolver with only one bullet. I spun it. I placed the gun to my dome. I took a deep breath. Click… no bullet. At that moment I knew Kate would not be the last.  Until next time I told myself as I walked to my car.