Re-Connecting the Pieces

Ray pulled his glasses from his face and bent over to rub and brush out the wood shavings from the neat groove he made. He blew and brushed at it again. As he was sliding the glasses back into place, his door opened. He held back a sigh, turning to see who it was as he pulled his glasses off.

“Raven!”

It was his twin sister, Rosa, and she was waving something excitedly in the air. Paper. He was starting to wonder what was on it, then realized that that was why she was in there in the first place.

“Raven!” She repeated, her wide grin was infectious, so he smiled a little in return.

“What?” He asked in a tired tone.

He really wanted her gone so he could finish his piece.

“We got a letter!” She announced.

Ray gave her an annoyed look, “oh really, I would never have guessed by the fact that you’re waving it around like a flag.”

“Raven!” She chided, but her smile remained in place, undaunted by his sarcasm. “We have a letter and can you guess who it’s from?” She asked, bouncing a little on her heels.

He frowned, trying to think. They didn’t normally get letters and usually, they were from their cousin or his sister’s boyfriend. Also, she would have said if it was from their cousin and told him what was in it or read it out loud. If it was from her boyfriend, who was currently living nearby, she would not have told him, much less tell him what was in it. He looked up at her, confusion on his face as he wrinkled his forehead.

“Randen?” He guessed their cousin but as he thought, she shook her head no. “Zade?” He tried her boyfriend, just in case.

She shook her head again. “Nope!”

He sighed, rolling his eyes, “well it better not be Gran…” He started.

“It’s Mom!” Rosa squealed, then added, "And there's nothing wrong with Grandma, Ray!"

Ray dropped his tool, staring at her. “Mom?” He repeated in disbelief.

She nodded, her smile slowly fading, “Ray… I thought you’d be excited.”

“Rosa, she left us!” He told her as if she had forgotten. Then again, maybe she had. They had been only nine and a half, so it would have been possible she had tried to forget about that. About how one morning, they woke up and she was gone, leaving behind only a note apologizing for leaving.

"How can I be excited to see someone who just walks off without saying anything!?" He continued. "She left us, Rosa. Why should I be excited about that?"

Rosa gave him a hurt look, the letter, which she had waved around, now hanging between her hands as she worried an edge.

“Because maybe she wants to try again? Maybe she feels guilty and wants to re-connect with us. She's still our mother, Ray, she's still family, so why shouldn't we let her try?"

Ray scoffed, bending to pick up the tool he dropped. “Because family doesn't walk out on you without a good reason, much less without a proper goodbye. A real family wouldn't leave you with someone who wants to hurt you, Rosa. A real family is like Zade and his brother, or Randen, watching out for us, helping us. Not Mom and Dad, cause they didn't care!"

"But-!"

"Rosa, if she cared, she could have brought us with her or better yet,” He added as he straightened and stood, “maybe she shouldn’t have left us at all.” He continued, moving to put the tool away and go through another box, “Then maybe we'd still be together, maybe then he wouldn't have-!” Ray stopped and shook his head roughly, “look, I don’t care, you can go see her if you want, but I’m not going.”

Rosa frowned, “Ray would if she’s sorry? Would if she wants to try again? Can’t you just come and see?”

Ray shook his head again. “No.”

"Ray..." She tried again but it looked clear to her by the set of his mouth that nothing else she could think of to ever change his mind came to her mind.

This was something for her brother to figure out. She just hoped he would be willing to forgive her.

So she hesitated, looking as if she still wanted to say something else but then nodded and turned to go. She stopped, however, at the doorway to add, “Ray, could you at least think about it? I am going to pack, and I really would like you to come too, and I’m sure Mom wants to see you again also.”

Ray watched her go, frowning, and shook his head. He did not like making his sister upset, but he was still too angry with their mother for leaving them with their abusive father. He closed his eyes as unwanted memories surfaced.

Of his parents yelling, the sound of slapping, shouting. He exhaled quick, trying to shake the painful memories that he wished not for the first time, that he could erase from his head. Of the following days, nights, and years since she left that he had to learn to deal with their father on his own and protect his sister. He sighed and looked at the door again, then turned to the window. A part of him still wanted to see her, to know why she left him. Would she even tell him? Will he like the answer, or would he get hurt all over again?

He stared out the window for a long while, wondering if the risk would be worth it. Would he be doing it to find closure? Or to try and please his sister? He turned to stare at the wood, reaching up to rub at the back of his neck in an anxious habit, hoping it might provide answers, though he knew only his mother could provide those answers. So sighing more deeply this time, he went to the door and closed it behind him.