To Admit A Wrong Done

To admit a wrong done no matter where it was done or when it was done or last the why. Yes, the why always surfaces when you are least prepared for it and it does not have to be the reason behind it.

But it's there and then that you realize too much has been spoken and it was done out of anger or before your thoughts in your mind were then spoken and the damage has been done.

The wrong can be anything it wishes to be, and it takes no prisoners, nor does it allow us to be the victim. the only way to resolve the wrong and save face if this is possible is to say one sentence that will make the moment less awkward, saying, "This was all my fault." No matter who is or was to blame, no matter why it was said, no matter who was there to witness the moment, you say that and mean it.

It can be a time of one's true colors appearing, showing how each person feels about the other. Yes, the truth hurts as much as a lie. It is better to have spoken the truth now and it hurt than to speak a lie and it hurt worse later. The truth allows both or more to better understand or maybe to be better prepared in a way that will give both a reason to pause, stepping back and reevaluating all that makes them what they are to each other.

If when the moment becomes verbally abusive and the parties involved have reached the breaking point, then somehow, they may find that way to never arrive at the moment of hurting each other beyond repair. It is the moment of truth and the moment of distinction that will allow all to know where the other stands and how they view things that make them incompatible or compatible.

The words said and the gestures shown and exposed will be the things that either build one up or tear them down. They will either encourage or discourage, either allow them to be victorious or defeated. In the case of a wrongdoing, there is no winner and no loser. They both are losers because they have become nothing more to each other except heartache and headache.

In a friendship it is no different than in a relationship. There are two people, who at first were able to find a way to show interest and find things in common that made their friendship/ relationship better. It seems that strangers who move on to becoming friends are willing to take risks and venture out into the unknown.

If they both want to be more than just friends, when the moment arrives and presents itself to become more and they agree to become involved in a serious relationship, starting out slow, then they play it safe and try to be all they can and do all they can for each other without a second thought. It seems, at first, that they are honeymooning and they try to avoid the idea of making mistakes or saying or doing the wrong thing, daily.

Then one day when they least expect it, the green-eyed monster of anger or of less than pleasantness, becomes a center attraction and it starts out small. The monster goes from mindful thoughts to verbal accusations. It is a devious cunning enemy. With no respecter of persons, no care for either gender that it does it own bidding. It lashes out and does not stop until both parties arrive at the point of no return.

It smiles at the idea of wrecking the happy home, the happy relationship, the happy couple, who are blinded by their love for each other and are sure that nothing can go wrong. They are in the middle of any action, sometimes simple and brief, sometimes long and may become a few hours long. It is when their guard is done, thinking about how perfect of a day it is, that nothing can go wrong.

BAM!!!!! BOOM!!!!! Hold the phones and stop the presses!!!!!! Everything comes to a screeching halt, and the only recently happy couple become an unhappy couple, starting with a word or gesture that will make them start shouting or pushing or hitting or accusing about who knows what, for who knows what reasons why.

They are saying things to each other that may not really have any meaning or trying to think up ways to hurt the other deeper than they ever imagined possible.

The words said were horrible. The hands placed on the arms or face or the result of such actions can become worse if they are to remain in the same room together much less in the same vicinity. If this becomes more who knows what will happen or what may happen. Eventually it may come to blows and clothes thrown out. Damage done to personal property or to life and limbs. It can leave a mark or scars that will never heal.

if it's non-verbal then the silence can be inner self-destructive, that idea they know what the other is thinking, it can escalate into verbal, and they will be filled with anger and rage that cannot be easily extinguished.

After the last words are thrown at each other heard, the last punch or fist seen flying towards them, the last deed completed, and both are tired from all the fighting. They both realize that it was who knows what they were fighting about and who knows why they allowed themselves to engage in such childish notions.

To be adults and participate in actions that can either do damage to one or both, tears, sadness, depression, and a whole longer list of feelings and emotions, that neither wanted to experience especially in such a way that could ruin something deep and great at best.

All that needed to be said to eliminate this response and reaction to the what and the why this became as it did was to say this" This is all my fault." Then both will make amends and return to being happy and willing to make better on not getting to the point of no return.