First and Last

Imagine a girl, blond hair, blue eyes. Capriciously placed freckles. Pretty enough to be likeable but not enough to be recognized. She goes to a school where good grades are easy to obtain, but good friends aren’t. The sound of the school bus echoed in her ears, waking her from her momentary daze. She grabbed her bag and ran out the door, reaching the bus moments before the door closed behind her. Ten minutes later, she was at school. Getting off the bus, she saw her boyfriend standing beside the building waiting for her.  

“Hello,” He said with a felicitous smile, “How are you?”

“Hey babe, I’m okay. What about you?” she replied, returning the smile.

“I’m fine thanks,” he said as he took her hand in his. She winced, only slightly, but enough for him to notice. Quickly blocking her from anyone who might be looking, he took her arm and slid up her sleeve. Long, angry, red lines cut across her arms and wrists. 

“Bae, we talked about this. What happened?” He asked, looking very concerned.

“I-I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it, i-i-i” But before she could finish what she was saying, she found herself in a warm and comforting embrace. 

“Hey, it’s okay, it’s all going to be okay, I promise, but please babe, promise me you won’t cut, please, can you do that?” He said as he held her close, wrapping his arms around her. 

“I-i promise,” she said, tears flowing down her cheeks and staining his fresh-smelling shirt. His conciliatory remarks healed some of the pain.

“Thank you. I’m here for you, okay? I know you are feeling like you are all on your own, but the truth is that you are not alone. I know that you are hurting and you think the pain has no end, but look at me, I’ll be your friend. So please, don’t cut, please don’t,” he said with gentle remonstrance. 

But then later that day, after many cruel words were passed around, she was beginning to feel like the whole world was down. She skipped class and ran home. She ran up to her room and fished in her drawer. She pulled out a knife and put it on the desk. Grabbing her phone, she sent him a text, “I love you with my heart, head, body, and soul to death.”  He replied with “I love you too babe,” and before he sent it, he thought of the wording that she used. was it an incomprehensible code? Or just a random series of words.

She remembers her promise to him, and regrets breaking it so soon, as she starts to bleed in the bathroom. Cut after cut she is bleeding out on the floor, giving more cuts than ever before. 

He thinks a second more before making up his mind, running from the class he went to her house. He didn’t knock just burst through the door. Her family was there wondering what he was here for. Before they could ask, he was already running, up to her room, he opened the door and the perspicuous sight that he beheld cut him to the core.  He wraps his arms around her, yelling out her name, and putting pressure on the cuts to try and stop the pain. 

“Someone call an ambulance!” he cried. His voice choked up, and the pain welled up inside. The blood on the floor more than a trifle.

Tears dripping down his face as they went to the hospital. He muttered quiet imprecations under his breath. He made it to the hospital, and he waited an hour, till the doctor came up, and his look went sour. 

“Please forgive me for the words I’m going to say,” said the doctor with a penitent look, the boyfriend’s life falling all around him. His girl taking her own life as she tried to end her struggles and strife. He was wondering why in the world she gave up, his mind screaming, “Baby, I thought you promised to never cut.”