Melting Memories

After two years of preparation, seeking after the dream that literally saved me from shooting myself, it was finally time to scale the largest, youngest mountain in the world: Mount Death.

Many thought the name would be a deterrent to hikers, but it had the exact opposite effect. People from around the world flocked to the challenge, leaving all paid races and events high and dry as Mount Death promised something more. It promised freedom, and a wealth of knowledge.

It was the year 2030, and in the last ten years, the thirty newest companies were founded from separate CEOs, and get this: each one had scaled to the top of Mount Death.

Instead of taking away your money like all other races and trips, this one promised the successful with wealth.

Even the ones who made it to the second of three peaks were all listed as successful writers, business owners, the like. One hundred percent of them.

Of course, this still was a low number, as many fulfilled the name of the mountain.

Thousands had died in the last ten years in pursuit of this wealth. Some called it the Fountain of Youth at the top, though aerial images and drones showed no such thing. Funny enough though, no videos existed of any of the ones who successfully peaked it, either.

This was enough to light a fire in my heart. My whole life, I had ran races, from the Boston marathon to the South African Ironman. All were incredible, but left me wanting, both in passion and finances.

Mount Death would be different. It had arisen in America in 2020, when tectonic plates shifted, pushing away California to sea and spiking up on the west coast. It was a welcome trade. It was the final piece of news in 2020, after the coronavirus had swept the globe, along with tragic politics that I don’t care to follow.

For me leaving Colorado, it would take just under 20 hours to drive there. I could already feel the ice of it in my veins. It was time to find glory.

---

I arrive at Mount Death after glaring at it for the last hour of the trip. It had a circle of clouds hovering at its peak, like some crazy photos of Mount Olympus. I am alone with my dog, a blue heeler named Toby who trained with me as well. He also had a large paw in keeping me alive.

We hopped out of my forest green Subaru which we had called ‘bedroom’ for countless nights before. Every second, every move, every touch was precious. I knew this was saying goodbye to my life before, whether that meant death or new life to come. I tossed mix CDs from old girlfriends in the back, along with a necklace from the one I loved most. She was dear to me, but she had left to pursue her dreams of medical school. Life sucked sometimes.

But not today. I stepped from my car of memories, Toby close behind, his tongue already lolling. I craned my neck up, looking to our future. Up there, I would find what I’d been searching for my whole life. Up there, were answers. Happiness.

I strapped on my green backpack and secured Toby’s own, along with his foot booties. He did his ritualistic march trying to kick them off, only to accept it 30 seconds later. We stopped at the brick bathroom, the last one we might ever see. Toby ran around the building, making sure to keep guard. I could hear all the voices as I stepped out, giving him wild praise. As I said, Death Mountain was a popular place. 

As we walked to the trailhead, I was in awe. Countless sports bras and spandex surrounded me, from tempting black to vibrant pink. The distraction was enough to want to stay here, but that was the point. I had to leave this behind to find what I really wanted. I kept my back to the thumping music and fresh-brewed beers, ignoring even a specific invitation to join a tailgate. I had not trained for two years to bail now.

---

The hike was like most at first. Evergreens, birds and bees, stacked stones and wooden signs. The largest sign said, “Beware of frozen bodies. Stop at first peak if you would like not to join them.”

There were hundreds more people doing their morning hike, smiling as they descended back to safety. That was as far as most would go, to the first peak only two hours up. Still a challenge, ramping up the endorphins, but not changing lives.

We crested the first peak, finding several kinds of people. Easels set up for paintings, others with cameras as large as watermelons. Watermelons as large as boulders, cut into slices to share. I poured salt on my free slice as I thanked the pretty girl, replacing my electrolytes and love. This girl loved my dog, she said, telling me her name was Morrine. She sat with us and chatted a while. “I’m heading to the very top,” I told her. Her eyes changed, as if looking at a dead man, and I knew. To be with me would mean no commitment, for I would be dead soon, she thought.

“I’ve never gone past this point,” she said. “I’ll join you to the second peak.” How could I say no? After another hour, Morrie followed us up. Her short shorts and hiker boots were adorable and rugged, though we had to hide them soon as the first chill set in. I threw on my hoodie and joggers, leaving Toby to his thick fur. She swooped on a purple turtleneck which shaped her body further, her own eyes almost violet, matching the flowers in the valley. She smiled and I about died. How could so many women be so beautiful?

That’s another reason why I was doing this. To seek answers, of marriage and commitment. I wanted a wife, a best friend to unite myself with, and eventually human children, in addition to Toby. Yet I struggled with finding it, and now 30 years old, I needed to search my soul.

After another two hours of slow progress, we crested over the Second Peak. And there she was, the hiker, we had been following. I can’t remember if it was the elevation, the hunger, or the high of fulfilling the dream that did it, but I remember her glow. I even saw wings, most likely projected from my preset images of what an angel would look like, though perhaps they were really there, just like an eagle would have wings, whether I expected it or not.

We chugged our water, then approached the couple. “Unreal isn’t it?” she said. She turned. I had seen her before, though I had no idea where from. Not base camp. From Colorado? “Where are you from?” :Switzerland” she said with a now apparent accent. I’d never been. 

“What are you doing all the way out here?” I asked, not having to play it cool. We were already enamored by each other, both the only two people so near the top of the world. “I’m looking for my husband.” She looked at me funny then, realizing how it sounded. “So,” I said,” you’re either taken like all the good ones, or you have found your next husband.” I winked and she laughed, though we both knew given some time, it might not be a joke. Of course, I also knew I might very well not survive this hike.

“No, I meant something else,” she said, her tone now somber. “You see, my husband climbed this mountain three years ago. I never saw him again. I’m out here to find him, or rather, his body.” 

“Oh I’m so sor-”

“Don’t be,” she cut off. “I loved him, but we weren’t happy. I only do it since he was my best friend and I love his family very much.”

I nodded, still sorry for her, but also elated. That was the sign. She wanted to be friends.

“Are you heading to the top?” I asked.

“Only until I find Hank.”

“I’m Merri.”

“I’m Vaness.”

Her lip curled at that, such a small thing, yet I knew I’d been searching for her my whole life. Yet that feeling returned of having seen her before, and I remembered even kissing her. I found myself stepping toward her as if muscle memory, then as I stooped, I saw her face. Her eyelashes fluttered, telling me not yet, but there would be another chance. I smiled, looking down and clenching my fists. “I’m not sure why I did that.” I said.

“Elevation,” she smiled, standing up. “Or something in the water.”

She called over her dog, a massive Burmeses with long black and brown hair and patches of white. Toby circled the female three times his size, then went for the mount. I swiftly pushed him off, and Vaness laughed. We began the final trek.

---

We talked about the state of the world, how technology had become insane, monitoring and recording everything. “And that’s the beauty of this place,” she said. “They can’t get technology to work out here. No signals, no cameras. Have you noticed that you don’t even want to take out your phone or camera or whatever?”

Right then, I tried to reach for my phone, but felt a profound and heavy dislike for such an action. My hand fell away, “Whoa.”

“This place, though young, is ancient. That’s what brought Hank here, I’m sure. He always hated the Internet. I did too, rarely posting pictures of myself. Only Hank ever got to see me half naked, which is so odd in today’s world.”

“Maybe I will get to see you fully naked?” The words left my mouth before I could stop them. I laughed, trying to care but I couldn’t. She was already laughing, pushing my shoulder. That was the best sign of all. “Not yet, if ever. Come on.”

She charged ahead, her muscles in her back and butt flexing as she extended out climbing polls. I shook my head, doing the same. I held back, trying to clear my head. Other dreams started flooding back, feeling more like memories. At times I even saw myself in these memories, and it wasn’t me at all, but random guys.

We stopped to refill our bottles, leaning up against ice walls. “This is the glacier,” she said. “A solid block of ice. They say it holds the bodies of all who have died here, moving to swallow them up. I suspect this is where I’ll find Hank.”

They meandered into the iceberg the, a maze of frozen memories, the dogs close behind.

Finally, they came to a wall and Vaness stopped.

“I’ve been here before,” I said, not understanding what I’ve meant. “I mean, deja vu. It feels like I’ve been here before.”

“Me too,” she mumbled, staring at her bottle.

“What?” I asked.

“Have you ever heard that water carries a memory of its own?”

I thought about it. “I think I heard it in a documentary once, but thought it was rubbish.”

“It’s not,” she said. I looked at her. “I study the intrinsic properties of nature for my university. It’s not rubbish. It’s true.

“the water carries ribbons of memory like it carries particles or life. The water we’ve got left, the water from the streams… It all comes from the melted ice.”

She looked at me, and I knew what she meant. “The stream is from the frozen ice, which holds the bodies of the fallen. So we are drinking… thawing people?”

“Spring has brought lots of warm clouds overhead lately. And it’s more than that. I think.. their brains freeze, then thaw, trickling with the water, and carrying memories. Haven’t you been feeling weird lately, like in a dream?”

“Yes, I- How did you know that?”

“I feel it too. And I have one final test.”

She stepped up close to me.

“What’s my middle name?”

---

Vaness Jane Olsenn and I laid down and made love, something I felt we had done before. I was myself, but a part of my mind was also Hank, her husband. It was the oddest, most wonderful feeling I’d ever felt. After swimming from the blankets and clothes that contained our heat, rolling from a cove formed by the ice, we dressed quickly while boiling water for coffee. As we sipped our drinks, our dogs staring at us, we laughed for what felt like hours.

I knew I had the last, most difficult decision to make.

“I have to continue to the top,” I said, though every part of me didn’t want to.

Vaness Jane only smiled. “Not only you, but the Hank in you would also want that. Which is why i loved and hated him so.”

She took my hand, a tear frozen on her cheek. “Go,” she said. “Come back to us, and we will build a life together.”

I knew what she meant. I couldn’t take Toby to his death. He was already wheezing due to the lack of oxygen. I didn’t know what I had planned to do with him if I hadn’t met vaness, but I guess I didn’t worry about it, trusting a solution would present itself, as it did.

“Come back to us,” she murmured, before turning and walking away.

“A son,” I called back, my voice echoing in the crystal blue cavern. She stopped. “We have a son. Charlie. I’ll make it back for you all.” Though she didn’t turn before continuing, I could see her grin. I turned, and pressed on.

---

It didn’t take long before I found the bodies. Limbs sticking out from the icebergs, seeming to wave greetings to new hikers. One even flipped off the world, or perhaps the circumstances which took his life.

I continued up, looking at the ground. Rocks, clouds. I wondered what my greatest desire was, only to see again and again it was the top of the mountain. I high fived one hand, only for it to snap off. In a fit of horrified laughter, I went to pick it up and place it in my bag, at the last second I stopped myself, standing up.

I saw another frozen pair, the man sitting on the rock, himself inside her as she lied on him. It would be both practical and great, a story to live on forever. Their body heat would extend each other’s lives, while dying while making love. What a way to go out. I vowed to write about them if I made it back. 

Finally, I saw the peak. I had made it. So where was my answer? What would I become the CEO of? What should I do?

Then it did strike me, and I laughed. The focus wasn’t the company, the girls, or anything else. The focus was the top of the mountain. I thought back on all I’d seen, all while focusing on the top of the mountain. It guided me along, helping me make the hard decisions, while coloring my life.

I would return, and I knew I would have great success, not because I had all the answers, but because i had the right focus. I had the courage to risk it all. And best of all? I had a new love, and another new focus, a family to take care of. I could see what Vaness Jane was like in marriage, at her best and her worst. I had Hank, could feel him guiding me back to her, to take care of the family he had left behind. I would do that, for him and myself. and how would it all turn out in the end, in the next life? I knew it didn’t matter, for it would work out, with the proper focus.

“I have seen the top of the mountain,” I yelled. “And it is good.”