A Bad Story

Submitted into Contest #83 in response to: Write a fantasy story about water gods or spirits.... view prompt




The Street Around The Corner: Author 🎆 Friyay! 🎆 Friyay’s Fun Footnote: I don't want to be rude about the thing above. I just want people to see my stories, not have to stress about pointless things like getting a prize. Again, not rude just.. I don't want to win.

This in NO WAY fits the prompt, I just needed to get a story out there. It also has a dozen names, and because I’m so freakishly indecisive. You can do whatever you want, or make up your own cuz you guys probably have names 10 times better than the sucky stuff I came up with. Whatever, enjoy!!! :)


“I’ll always remember that day.” My sister said it aloud as I opened my eyes for the first time in what felt like forever. “The day you died.” Died!? But.. my eyes are open! Elaina must’ve seen my face because she explained it all. “I’m dead. You’re dead. Even the dang doctors are dead! This is a whole nother dimension. Dimension: Even As Death, People Live As (human) Creatures Elite Society.” “Huh?” “No one understands the name. It just means D.E.A.D P.L.A.C.E.S.” “Ahh. What day would you always remember? How did I die? Why was I sleeping so long!?” The questions involuntarily tumbled out of my mouth one after the other. Then, a tall nurse in purple scrubs walked in. “Elaina.” She said. “SHe needs to rest.” “Okay. Bye sis.” They both walked out and I was alone. Those exact same questions swirled around in my head. I needed memories. “Memories.” My brain thought. “Memory. Memory Lane.” It all came back to me. But I heard an odd humming and was sleeping in seconds.

“Shana.” my mom said. “You can’t just stay in your room all day.” “Who says I can’t?” ”Your mother. I don’t care if it’s only ten minutes, but I want you off our property before 3pm.” “Right, so I can end up like Elaina.” “Shana!” “Fine, fine. I’ll go now.” I put on a t-shirt and jean shorts. When I was finally ready, I walked out of our house. I wandered aimlessly for about half an hour. I got hungry and started walking to the store on Memory Lane. I walked in and settled on Cool Ranch Doritos. Those were Elaina’s favorite. I got into an indecisive spiral again. One one hand, Elaina loved these, and now she wasn’t there for us to battle over that last bag. On another hand, she always caved in anyways. Wouldn’t she want this? Maybe? That went on for 5 minutes before I ended up settling for Funyuns. I kept my gaze on the Doritos for at least another 10 minutes before a lady said “Are you gonna buy the chips or keep comparing them to something that’s the same price?” “YOU DON’T KNOW MY LIFE!!!” I yelled it so loud Mom could’ve heard. “YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE TO LOSE YOUR TWIN SISTER AFTER 16 YEARS!!!” “Jeez, sorry.” “Whatever.” I threw the chips at her face, almost suffocating her from the plastic and stormed out. Right as I left, I got a message. “I’m Karr. You were warned. No one touches me, and now you’re gonna get it.” That was the last thing I remembered before hitting the burning sidewalk.

I jerked awake, remembering the very dream I just had. Dream, right? But I’m in Dead Places. Do dead people have dreams!? I mulled those questions over for an hour before Elaina came in at the crack of dawn. “Rise and shine sis!” SHe said, oddly perky. “It’s 5am. You went to bed at 2. How are you so… ‘up and at ‘em’?” “With this!” She put some glimmering pink powder in my face that was labelled “Rise And Shine!” In a cutesy cursive font. “It can help you be all.. Woken up, no matter how much sleep you got. There’s a lot of cool tricks and magic in Dead Places. Let’s gooo!” I was yanked up and my day began.


“And,” Elaina said. “There’s this super cool place just past Shooting Star Lake where you can wish on an ACTUAL snowflake, even in summer! Oh, and there’s…” “Elaina!” I interrupted. “Sorry, but this is wayyyy too much. Shooting LakeFlake where you can wish on a Star in a pond?” “Nooooo! A place just beyond Shooting Star Lake where you can wish on a snowflake and ice skate on the pond!” ”I’ll remember that.” I said sarcastically. “Come on Shana! You missed soooo much until last year.” 

“Last year?” 

“Yeah. It took you a year to go through the process of transition whatever.” 

“So you can remember whatever about snowflakes and shooting stars but not the process of from Life to Dead Places?” 

“Whatever. It’s rare that it takes that long. It normally takes one hour.” 


“Chill! It’s nothing big!” 

“Yeah, cuz being a thousand hours late to come here is ‘nothing big’.” 

“Shanaaaaaa! Come on, let’s just go.” “No.” “Sis, let’s go.” “You’re not the boss of me.” “Uh but I am!” “By FIVE minutes.” “Elaina! I. Said. No.” “Shana! I. Don’t. Care. Let’s gooo!” Okay, now I was mad. “NO. I said NO. I want to stay here, and you tell me everything.” “Okay, okay! Come on.” We sat on a bench and Elaina explained how I was late waking up and there’s no definite cause of it. Then, she told me how I died. Almost. “WAIT!” “What?” “I… I..” I heard the humming and fell face flat on the bench. 

“Shana?” I was awoken by the calming voice of Mom, who looked more concerned than usual. And that’s always freakishly concerned. “Mom?” My voice was shaky. “What happened?” “You passed out. Can you remember why?” I thought really hard then said “No.” Mom picked up her phone to do something and I instantly remembered. “A text!” I said. “A text?” “Yeah.” I showed her my hopefully dead phone. It wasn’t. Mom flipped through my phone and said “Who’s Karr?” “I don’t know!” “Shana. Who. Is. Karr!?” “I said I don’t know!” “Alright, well let’s find out.” Mom put down my phone and made some calls. Even though I felt a little weak, I went back to the MemoryMart. I remembered everything. But who was Karr!? Suddenly, I was pulled into the Memory Lane Alley. “I’m Karr.” The voice said. “I warned you, but you came back. Dumb move, even though you’re only 17 sooo,” yeah. “I’m 20!” I shrieked, then put my hands over my mouth. “20? College. I’ll look into that. In the meantime… it’s murder-time.” Then, I kicked her and flipped her over. The knife blade just missed her chest.”Oh, so you wanna fight?” She started throwing spears at me, and I somehow missed every one of them. Tired, I subconsciously sat down. Perfect for Karr. She grabbed me and put the knife to my throat. “One step and I’ll kill you.” she said. A whistle blew, footsteps scampered along the sidewalk, and we were cornered. 

“SHANA REA LOCKWOOD!” That was my “gracious” awakening by Elaina.

 “What!?” I got up, looking directly at Elaina. 

“You said you wanted to…” 

“Not! Not listen to my death story. It was bad enough.” 

“How did you know it..?” 

“Whatever! Just.. next! Heyy, let’s go see Snowflake Pond!” 

“Oh, so now you remember. You’re confusing me Shana! First you wanna hear every detail of everything, and now you’re basically avoiding it.” 

“No reason. Let’s goooooo!” 

“No. Shana, are you okay?” 

“Um.. I think so. Can we not talk about this?” “Fiiiine! To Snowflake Pond!”


After that honestly amazing experience at Snowflake Pond, it was night time, and the purple nurse who I still don’t know’s name took us back to the Dead Places House. She said we would be getting a new person joining us. 

“Who is it?”. That was the main question everyone asked. 

“Her NAME!” Purple yelled to quiet everyone down. “Is Elaina Karr.” 

That name. Why do I know that name?

“Hi strangers! Super excited.” said a voice. It was rough, and she sounded angry.

That voice. Why do I know that voice!?

She walked in from the portal and I saw her face. 

That face was Karr’s.

March 03, 2021 16:29

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Ari Berri
16:16 Mar 04, 2021

This is awesome! There are some places where you should break it into more paragraphs, but otherwise, great job! 🌺 🌺 🌺 🌺


Thanks for the feedback! This is my first story, so I'll try to work on that. Also, before I even had a Reedsy account, I would visit your page a lot (great stories!) and every time, it would freeze and stop working, Even now when I have an account, it still does that. Is something going on?


Ari Berri
16:37 Mar 04, 2021

No problem. I don't know what that's about, that's never happened for me. I hope it starts working.


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🌺 Also, is the answer to the riddle...they were all married?


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