My Baby Love

I looked down admiring his blonde hair and his beautiful chocolate brown eyes. He was perfect and looked just like his dad. He kicked his feet as he laid in his crib. I couldn’t help but stare as he continued to play. He was aweing and gooing. He was perfect and a mixture of my love and me. 

I never pictured myself as a mom and was climbing the corporate ladder. I was about to be the vice president of a huge beauty company when I met Dean. The first time we talked, I was head over hills. It didn’t take long before I learned of my pregnancy. We were both so excited but neither of us knew how much we would love this baby. I knew at the moment I found out about him that I was meant to be a stay-at-home mom. I gave up my business world to live in the mom world. It was a busy one but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

I never knew what love was until the day that Jaxon was born. He was my baby love. 

“Jaxon, what are you doing?” I said in my baby voice.

He looked up at me and smiled. He was already four months old and it breaks my heart, He was growing too fast. 

“I am going to go get your daddy’s dinner ready while you play,” I told him in my baby voice. 

He grinned a sly grin and I knew he would cry the minute that I left the room. He had his daddy’s sly grin and I could always tell when he was up to something. 

I grabbed the baby monitor as I left his room. I took one last peek at him before leaving the doorway. I made my way to the kitchen and started looking through the fridge trying to figure out what to cook for dinner. It was hard to cook every night and I never knew what to cook. 

Cooking was an endless chore and I was tired of eating the same thing day in and day out. I let out a sigh. I am overdue for a night out. I love Jaxon but I needed a night with just Dean and me. I can’t remember the last time that my hair has been out of this bun. 

I guess hamburgers and french fries will have to do today. I grabbed the meat. I was out of energy to make a big meal but Dean would like it anyways. He loved the simple things. I rolled the meat out and was getting ready to put it on the stove when I heard Jaxon let out a scream.

I put the meat in the pan and went to his room. I got to his crib to see him turning red from crying. He was mad all over but still the cutest baby in the world. 

“Jaxon, it is okay,” I told him with my baby voice. 

He wasn’t having it. He knew my attention was on cooking and he didn’t like it. He wanted me my focus on him. He truly was Dean’s son. I almost laughed at that thought. I lifted Jaxon up and patted him on the back. He hushed crying as he laid his head on my shoulder. 



I sniffed his head. He always smelled so good. Babies always have a sweet and innocent smell to them. I started to lay him back down but he started to whimper. I knew it would be easier and faster to just go cook with a baby on my hip. 

I made my way back down to the kitchen with Jaxon in my arms. He grabbed a string of my silky brown hair on the way too. He began to tug at it causing half of my hair to fall out of the bun. 

“Jaxon, let’s leave mommy’s hair alone,” I said sweetly to him as he giggled. 

Yes, he was definitely Dean’s son. Dean loved to tease me and I feel Jaxon was going to be the same way. I finally got his death grip off my hair and turned him to face away from my hair. I balanced him with my left hand on my hip as I cooked with my right hand. My strength of multi-tasking comes in handy for days like this. 

After about thirty minutes, I had the food ready and turned the stove off. As soon as I clicked it off, I felt someone behind me. His hot breath was on my neck as I reached for a plate. Soon his lips were on my cheek. 

“Baby, I am home,” he whispered in my ear. 

I turned to him and smiled as I slid Jaxon in his arms. 

“Your son wants to be held and I need to get the food on the plates,” I told him as I grinned. 

I got the hamburger and french fries on two plates. One for him and one for me. I couldn’t help but think about going on a date with him. He used to wine and dine me so much before Jaxon. I love our son so much but I need a night out with Dean. I wish he could see how much I am craving a night alone with him. I guess he just sees me as a wife and mother now meaning he already has me now so he doesn’t have to try. 

I walked to the table with the plates in each of my hands. I saw Dean playing with Jaxon as I walked in. He was bouncing him on and down.

“Who is daddy’s super baby?” Dean asked in a baby talking voice. 

Jaxon would let out a giggle as Dean said, “You are!” 

I couldn’t help but fall a little more for Dean in that moment. I loved him before but after Jaxon, I have found a new love for him. I love how much he cared about Jaxon and me. I knew he would do anything for us so I felt a little silly about my thoughts from the kitchen. I sit his plate down in front of him as he sits Jaxon in his lap. I sit beside him with my plate. 

“I was thinking that maybe I should take you out. We haven’t been out in almost a month,” Dean smiled his sly smile. 

“What about Jaxon?” I asked puzzled. 

I wanted a night out but at the same time I couldn’t leave Jaxon. 

“My mom volunteered to keep him tonight,” he answered as he grabbed my hand. 

“I don’t know,” I replied. 

“We will only be gone for a couple of hours,” Dean reassured me. 

“Okay,” I said as I let go of Dean’s hand. 

I ate my hamburger thinking about going out with Dean tonight. It was so exciting to think about it just being Dean and me. Then, I felt guilty for wanting to leave Jaxon. Was it right to leave my baby and go have fun? 

After we finished eating, Dean feed and got Jaxon to sleep so I could get ready. I took a long hot shower and it was so relaxing. I hardly get to take a shower that lasts more than ten minutes. It is the little things that make you happy when you are a mother. An hour of peace in the shower is one of them. 

I put a red lace tight dress on after my shower with black heels. I laughed at myself as I tried to remember how to walk in heels. Heels were not part of a mom’s wardrobe. I turned the curling iron on then opened my make-up bag. 

“Baby, we need you,” I heard Dean yelling from Jaxon’s room. 

I kicked my shoes off and went to Jaxon’s room. I knew I would get there fastest without them. I walked in to see a fussy Jaxon and Dean trying everything to get him to stop crying. 

“What is going on?” I asked. 

“Jaxon feels warm,” he replied as he reached him to me. 

I put my cheek to Jaxon’s head and he did feel warm. 

“We better take his temperature,” I told Dean before walking to the kitchen. 

We got the thermometer and rolled it across his head. His temperature was 99.3.

“I will call and let Mom know we are staying home,” Dean announced. 

I just nodded as I held Jaxon tighter. I didn’t know what to do. All the doctors would be close tonight. I just hope that this fever is just him cutting teeth. I got him some teething medicine and got a cold washcloth to help cool him off. I can’t believe I wanted to leave Jaxon. The guilty was starting to sit in. 

Dean walked back in and hugged us. He kissed my forehead. 

“I am sorry, baby,” Dean said as he held us.

“I am a horrible mom. I was going to leave Jaxon when he needed me most,” I let a tear roll down my cheek as I spoke. 

“You are a great mom and Jaxon is lucky to have you,” Dean answered as he brushed the tear away. 

We sit on the couch and walked television until all three of fell asleep. Jaxon was in my arms and my head was on Dean’s chest. We must have slept for hours. The last time I looked at the clock it was six. 

Jaxon woke us up at midnight ready for a bottle. He was all smiles again so I took his temperature before feeding him. It was back to normal now.

“Dean, his fever broke,” I said excitedly.

“Good, I hate seeing him sick,” he said. 

I reached Jaxon to Dean as I went to make Jaxon’s bottle. As I mixed the formula together I couldn’t help thinking that tonight didn’t go as planned. It was just another night in the life of a mother. I knew I was where I was meant to be with the two guys that I love the most.