A Killer's Companion

The incessant, dark sky held thousands of bright glimmering stars as I lay, listening to my heart beat. It echoes in my chest as I stare up with admiration and  resentment. As I breathe a weary sigh, I turn to look at her. She lays there, next to me, unmoving with her enchanted beauty as her dark locks of hair that lie around her head, frame her round face and her fair skin glistens in the full moon light that showers us with her blessing through her silvery rays.

I feel like it's all but a grandiose dream, one from which I can not wake up from, nor did I want to. My chest feels heavy as I gradually start to tremble. Hesitating, I inched closer to her as I whisper, begging "Can you hold me? Please?"

Her eyelids fluttered open, sparkling like beguile pools of water, as blue as the ice that started to unthaw from my heart in that exact moment. Her gaze fell on me as she smiled fondly, her carmine lips with a lustful appetite that I could almost taste. 

So bitter and sweet that I ran my tongue over my own lips in hopes to get just a morsel of the flavor she emitted.

Her voice came out like a heavenly, enthralling song, sending thrills down my spine as she spoke, “Of course, my love.”

With some of my remaining strength I had left, I eased myself gingerly onto her chest. Her scent filled my thoughts and the very depths of my being; smelling of birch wood, honeysuckle and the sweet, earthy smell of the dirt under us. I felt consumed by my thoughts of what I wanted to do with her, if only I was my former self before this. 

Before when my mind had been muddled with a dark perception of life and when my heart was a glacier in the icy waters of my soul. 

I shivered, my mind racing through my dark, lewd fantasies of her, as the cold steadily started to settle deep within my bones. Her arms wrapped tightly around my huge frame as I lay there similar to a child laying on their mother’s bosom.

At a glimpse, one would ponder if we were lovers, however we were far from that. Just mere fated forces of nature that would be together briefly and suddenly as life had chosen it to be, only then to be ripped apart just as quickly as we had met. 

I had known since childhood that I was ‘destruction’, the very force that opposed nature since time had begun. It ran through my blood as it once did in my barbaric father’s raging heart. Constantly, I was at war with myself; having my father’s bad blood and also having my angelic, caring mother’s blood pumping within my veins.

Two opposing forces; fire and ice.

It was not an effortless conflict that anyone could fight so easily and win. You always lose in the end, neither direction of the path you chose to take matters anymore after that compared to the eternal fight persistently brewing within you .  

 I breathed in her luscious scent again as my lungs struggled to keep up with the restless part of my spirit. She felt warm, like a kindled fire; the only thing that was keeping me tied to this realm of the world presently. 

My voice came out hoarse, barely recognizable to myself. “Tell me, my sweet. Were we old acquaintances at all?”

She started running her slender fingers delicately up and down my spine as her doe-eyes stared up at the eternal abyss. “I would like to think so, but you also prevented me from doing my job correctly many, many times before. And I, oh, so love my job. So don’t blame me that I may detest you just a tad bit, but we had a lovely, long run while hand in hand, dear. It surprises me now, how rather calm you’ve been with this. Must be from the experience. However, most beg, even the ones like yourself who deal with me on a regular basis, cower and try to bargain with me instead of accepting fate as presented.”, she professed. 

Her voice forced the terrible, soothing silence of our slowed time to break, having my mind snap promptly back into the horrible reality of my own situation. I then focused on keeping my eyes from closing so that I may get the answers I seek before my time runs out. 

If I let them close, she would then disappear for good and I will lose my one chance at gaining the approval that I so desperately desired more than anything from this cruel lifetime.

“Did you admire my handy work? I sent all those to you in hopes to make you happy. You’re the only one who truly meant anything to me in my life. All those I slain, perished quite magnificently by my own hand; all for you. It was only ever you, even now as I lie here with you. My father taught me his art. My last desire is to know if I pleased you with my version of it. I know there is no fighting you. I never planned to do it since I was a young lad.  I’ve been waiting for you for quite some time. Even here now, you are as beautiful as I imagined.”, I confessed, while my breathing started to come out ragged, making it hard to concentrate on staying conscious. I could feel my heart struggling to keep up.

My time was running out.

My breath started becoming shallow and my whole body now felt like I had submerged in freezing waters. I closed my eyes for what seemed like an eternity, even though I merely blinked and there she stood. Now, in front of me. 

Even through her youthful appearance, I knew she was ancient. Much older than ‘destruction’; she was a goddess of life. One of the oldest deities to exist. She walked hand in hand with her siblings in the cycle of life. I found tears escaping the corners of my eyes as memories of always wanting to meet her since childhood had resurfaced.

Her slender frame in a pearl white satin dress that ran to her ankles with her jet black locks ending at her waistline. Her expression, gentle as the rustle of the trees of the nearby forest when the wind commenced to blow. It seemed to caress her body through her gown as she looked down at me. I lay there, shivering where the ground felt warm from her silhouette. The warmth made me want to drift into the void.

After a long awaited silence, she crouched next to me and admitted softly, “I did, in a vague manner, however, I never asked for help. I did not need it and predominantly, in the end, you are like every other soul I collect. No matter how much you idolized me throughout your life. So why attempt to please an old god like me?”, she mused, “I loved your “art” form nonetheless, but you had so much potential that never got to grow. Such a waste and a pity. I almost commiserate with having to take your soul, but I spare none. No matter what they may do throughout their lifetime. My deepest regrets, my dear love, but it is time now. I finally will make it all end.”

I heaved a deep sigh as I barely managed to turn onto my back, smiling as I felt satisfied enough with her answer. The cold now numbed my entire body as my eyes struggled to stay open while my heart pumped the remaining of my blood out to mother earth. Adding to the rest of my cold blood that had surrounded my body in a sticky puddle that the soil was swiftly absorbing.

She loomed over me, smiling as she stared into my eyes. Her beauty was hypnotic as she leaned in closer, closing her eyes as she did. With tender effort, her soft, subtle lips planted a simple, light kiss upon my own; leaving them to be the only part of my whole spirit to burn with a fiery print from her arctic touch. Instantly, she disappeared leaving me alone with the wind, earth and sky. 

I lay there, my vision blurring as I gaze out to the starry ocean that was my only companion; a half smile pulling at the corner of my mouth as my lungs heave one last time. The stars twinkling splendidly as my heart stops.