Bar Talk

‘’Students from Dzidzo are nothing but useless ignoramuses’’ he retorted. ‘’They are a bunch of good for nothings’’ he added. ‘’What makes you say that, please tell me;’’ I replied. ‘’Currently I have two interns from Dzidzo and in less than a month with them, I must say I am already fed up, and it bothers me very much that I’m stuck with them for the next eight months’’ whined Jaku. ‘’Is it really that bad mate?’’ I interjected. ‘’My friend, its worse’’ he replied. ‘’You remember that during our days at Dzidzo, it was THE university, it was the best in all of Africa. We had students coming from all over Africa to learn from the best of the best’’ he added. ‘’Back then, Dzidzo forged and molded nations through impacting great minds’’ said Jaku as he downed the little beer in his glass. ‘’ I remember many companies approaching us in our final year and begging us to come work for them. They literally begged us. Why? Because they knew a graduate from Dzidzo was a gem, well grounded both in theory and in practice’’ added Jaku. He was now speaking at the top of his voice, probably the booze had taken over his marbles and he was now under its influence. All the same Jaku’s arguments were both on point and thought provoking.

Jaku, a close acquintance of mine, is a General manager at a top research firm in Sengela, a city in the heart of Sub-Saharan Africa. Just a few weeks ago we met at our usual meeting place, Patsime, a bar just outside of our sleepy and dreamy small town. I vividly recall the conversation we had that day. It was a lively and riveting discussion we had over a couple of drinks. I will never forget this one because even though it was bar talk, it had many nuggets and caveats which many people in high places could actually find useful and insightful.

Every year Jaku’s firm hires students from a local university, Dzidzo University, for an internship, commonly called attachment in this part of the world. So this attachment is meant for students to come in and learn whilst they earn. During this time they are introduced to the actual rudiments of work. They are shown the ropes basically. Jaku is the one responsible for appointing the college students. His experiences with students from Dzidzo have been far from pleasant.

Now Jaku is a product of Dzidzo and ever since the time he graduated, he has always been an active Alumni, giving back to the college and taking part in their social activities whenever business matters are not pressing. In fact he is the patron for their research scientists club. A club he believes to be the hub of the next generation’s great minds. A club he was president for, for two years. Dzidzo’s blood courses through Jaku’s veins.

So it was a great shocker to me when Jaku said ‘’my friend, let me tell you something that has always boggled my mind ever since’’. ‘’Shoot’’, I said, eager to hear what was troubling my pal. I leaned closer to him, supposing that he didn’t want to shout. ‘’In all my years of working with interns I’ve noticed something disturbing about those from Dzidzo’’, he added. ‘’Tell me my friend’’ I urged him on.

Jaku pointed out how a science graduate from Dzidzo couldn’t do a simple experiment at his research firm. He was disappointed at the students’ incompetence. He wondered if Dzidzo was still the same prestigious college and pride of the region it had once been. Something was seriously wrong at the university. The cohort that came in since five years ago had been the worst. One environmental science student couldn’t collect a water sample from a dam nearby. Seriously, a water sample. That’s how bad it had become and Jaku was beginning to see Dzidzo in a different light.  

‘’I know what the problem is’’ said Jaku as he opened the umpteenth bottle of beer. He was now in high spirits and his tongue suddenly seemed to have a mind of its own. It was unstoppable, uncontrollable and on fire. ‘’ Tell me the problem Jaku’’ I urged him on. ‘’ The problem has everything to do with the University’s selection criteria when they admit students in first year’’ he argued. ‘’ The university used to have strict entry requirements which they adhered to religiously, but now they have thrown all that out of the window and have relaxed everything’’ he added. ‘’Really, and why is that?’’ I asked. ‘’Competition’’ said Jaku. ‘’Competition, what do you mean competition’’ I asked, this time more intrigued at my friend’s claims. ‘’You know, back in our day, Dzidzo was the sole university for the whole of Southern Africa and so it attracted many students from all over, but ever since the number of universities increased, the number of students that apply to Dzidzo has declined. College authorities had a rude awakening. Dzidzo is no longer the sole provider of higher education’’ said Jaku. That was an interesting argument. Probably it was true, how would I know. ‘’So to boost the numbers of student applications, the college authorities decided to lower the selection criteria so that even those who wouldn’t make it in a normal selection process, stand a chance’’ he argued.

According to Jaku, the faculty of science at Dzidzo had relaxed their entry requirements so that even students without a scientific background in their high school were being admitted to study science programmes. Dzidzo is thus doing a disservice to the industry because such students lack the foundation which is fundamental for one to become a fully-fledged scientist. Such students struggle throughout their university studies and even in their careers. Imagine a student who never studied Chemistry in high school suddenly having to carry out advanced experiments at university. Or a student who never did Biology in high school having to dissect a frog or a rabbit at university. It’s a tall order and yet Dzidzo is churning out such ‘scientists’ year in year out. No wonder why Dzidzo students who come for attachment at Jaku’s firm can’t even collect a water sample, worse still write a report on their findings. The rot at Dzidzo has become so pervasive that no faculty or department at the university has been spared. Where the science faculty is recruiting students who do not have a scientific bakground, the humanities department is recruiting students who did not complete advanced level studies, a prerequisite of college recruitment. It’s now all about money. As long as you can afford their exorbitant and absurd tuition fees Dzidzo will offer you a place to study whichever degree you want.

‘’Bar tender, can we please have one more round for the road’’ shouted Jaku. ‘’No way tiger, that’s enough for today lets head home’’ I interjected to which the bar man nodded his head. Slowly and carefully I put my head under Jaku’s right arm and my left hand around him and steadily we headed for the exit. As he staggered beside me I chided myself for not having recorded the interesting conversation I had just had with a drunken man. A conversation that had been far more meaningful and insightful than a dozen conversation I had before with so called ‘’intellectuals’’.