Bobby.

I heard footsteps outside the door, followed by the jangling of the keys.

I looked up to the direction of the door, and ran towards it.

“Dad!”

I ran to my dad Tom hastily. He was clutching a brown paper bag. 

No. 

He was clutching one bag, and another one in his hand with the keys.

“Where’s Mom?” I looked at him.

He had a smile on his face as soon as he saw me. Those kind, blue eyes I love. We have the same eyes, my mom told me. ‘Kind eyes’ was what my mom Daisy always said.

I only know her as ‘Mom,’ but my dad always called her ‘Daisy.’

Dad put the paper bags full of groceries on the kitchen counter and looked at me, “Your mother will be late again, as usual.”

Hmm…again?

I noticed it. My mom seemed to be rather distant with Dad lately. And Dad…he always put a brave face, always understanding, always trying to cheer her up, but Mom…

She almost seemed irritated with him, but not with me. I come to her, and she always had tears of happiness in her eyes, a smile plastered on her face.

Or were they tears of sadness? I don’t know, and I couldn’t ask her.

I sat myself on the sofa, and kept on glancing at my dad. He has put on some random music by this guy who kept on singing about ‘love’.

I think my dad is being such a romantic.

But I looked at him, and he kept on glancing at his phone while he prepared dinner, and I am getting freakin’ hungry, to be honest.

I got up from my sofa, and walked towards him.

“Dad, where’s dinner? Come on, I’m hungryyyyyy! Where’s Mom?” I said to him with pleading eyes. He just furrowed his brows at me, and he sighed. 

“We wait ’til your mom’s here, alright? I don’t know where she is. I…”

I looked at him, and he looked completely lost for words.

I left him alone and went back on the sofa to listen to this song he had on playing, and closed my eyes.

The next thing I knew, my dad was on the phone, shouting, running towards the bedroom.

I got confused. I got up from the sofa and waited outside the bedroom door.

“No, no…no no…! No!” my dad Tom said.

I could hear the pain in his voice, but I couldn’t understand it.

Who was he talking with?

“You have got to be out of your fucking mind, Daisy!”

My mom? What has she done?

There was silence. 

No, not silence.

My dad wasn’t talking anymore, but he was not silent.

He was in pain.

I don’t know how long I sat there outside the door, but I sat there for a very long time. I could even hear my tummy growling, but I ignored it.

He didn’t go out of the room for a long time, but when he did, he looked down at me.

“Come, let’s have dinner.”

I looked up at him, and I could feel he was sad, pained.

He gave me a bowl of my favourite dinner which he weirdly enough placed near his seat. He wasn’t eating anything of what he has cooked for dinner though.

I knew he cooked something delicious with tomato sauce in it, but he wasn’t eating. He was just drinking a glass of wine that seemed never to empty.

I looked up at him.

“Your mom is not coming back,” he told me, but he wasn’t looking at me.

I glanced at him, and he looked serious. And his eyes were wet. 

“What do you mean she isn’t coming back?”

But he went on drinking from his glass. 

Silence.

That night, I couldn’t sleep, not that I sleep very deeply anyway.

Dad closed the door of the bedroom. Normally, I sleep with the both of them, just at the foot of the bed.

But that night, it was different.

I could hear him howling, or…the equivalent of howling when people are in pain.

It was sad. I felt sad, and I do not know why.

My dad is alone in the bedroom, and my mom is not with him to comfort him.

I had such a nightmare that night, of a faceless mom turning her back on me, not even giving me a kiss before she left, not even a single hug.

I woke up early and I needed to pee. I knocked at my dad’s door, but he wasn’t opening the door.

“Dad! Come onnnnn!” 

Normally it was my mom who wakes up early to take me out.

But I remembered she’s not there, so dad has to take me out.

Nothing. 

No sound from the room, except his mild snoring.

I did the unthinkable. I peed on the grand piano’s leg.

And I didn’t stop there. I did the nasty underneath it.

I didn’t know what time it was then, but it was surely midday before dad got out from the bedroom.

“Shit, Bob! Come on!” he shouted.

“What? I called you and you were not answering the door!” I looked at him from the sofa. “And you didn’t let me in the bedroom!”

I could feel Dad was completely pissed off with me. He was shaking his head, and looking daggers at me.

“You’re just like your fucking mother,” he muttered under his breath, “shitting everywhere that’s perfect.”

I went to the living room, and grabbed the ball that we always played with each weekend.

I know it’s weekend. Whenever mom and dad wake up super late, it’s the weekend. But mom isn’t here, just dad.

I looked eagerly at him.

“You can forget that, boy! I’m not in the mood!” he shouted, and I felt hurt.

Why was he shouting to me like that? What have I done? Was it the pooping and the peeing?

That was his fault! I didn’t want to do all that! He was the one who didn’t want to bring me out!

I lowered my eyes at him, and dropped the ball.

“Oh, don’t give me that look!” he shouted again, his teeth clenched, as he cleaned the mess I have done under the piano.

He spent the whole day ignoring me, and was working on his laptop the whole time.

He didn’t even play with me like he used to. He only brought me out two times and that was it. No playing at the park, no meeting with his friends at the bar, nothing. We just went straight back home after I’ve done my business.

He barely ate, which means I barely ate, and I kept on following him around to give me some treats, but he was not having any of it.

“Stop! Go to the sofa and leave me alone!”

That was the second day, the third day, and the fourth day he was at home. He shouted at me all the time. I could feel the anger in his voice, and it scared me.

Am I also going to lose my dad? Am I going to be left alone? Taken away? Locked away somewhere?

I feared it. 

My dad, who loved me, who played with me, who called me to bed when it’s ‘sleepy time’ ignored me, and shouted at me, and I didn’t do anything bad. 

And I miss my mom. Where is she? Why is she not coming back?

I kept on bringing the ball to my dad, but he just shook his head at me, and told me to go away.

He was there, every single day at home now, and I cannot anymore tell the days if it’s weekend or not, because he was just sitting there, working each day and night on his computer, and never taking me out to play.

I felt completely sad. I felt alone, even if I could see my dad by the kitchen just typing away.

One day, he left very early in the morning, and came back almost midday. I knew it was midday because my tummy was growling really loud.

He came with an awful lot of groceries, and I could see the stuff he got for me. He got a lot of it!

I got scared.

I saw a movie one night with them, it was scary. Something about the end of the world. People buying so many things to put them in their homes or something like that, and they cannot leave their houses anymore.

A war, or maybe an alien invasion. 

Yes, I think that was what happened in the movie I saw with Mom and Dad.

Aliens eating people.

Before dad saw me, I ran inside the wardrobe where Mom kept her shoes.

If the aliens are coming, they will not find me where the stinky shoes are!

I stayed in there for a long time. I didn’t care if my tummy is growling so bad. I gnawed on my mom’s shoes to pacify my hunger.

Dad didn’t call me either. I don’t even know if he knew I have hidden myself away from the aliens.

Dad has been ignoring me, and mom has not come back for days and days. It really didn’t matter much if I disappeared or not.

I fell asleep in there. I was feeling tired, and scared.

I didn’t know what day or time it was, but I heard a faint voice from outside my hiding place.

It was my dad.

He was in pain.

I need to help him. Maybe the aliens has got him.

I forced my way out of the wardrobe, and cautiously walked out of the bedroom.

My dad was on the sofa but he was alone. There were no aliens, and he still made this weird sound, still pained.

I walked towards him silently, and got in front of him.

He didn’t look up immediately. His face was still buried on his hands.

And I had the sudden urge to pee.

“Oh my god, there you are…” he muttered, just glancing very fast to where I am sitting, right in front of him.

I got on the sofa, and placed my head on his lap.

I used to do that with him, watching those stupid scary shows that always made me jump, which my mom always found so amusing.

“There you are, boy,” he caressed my head, and I closed my eyes. I love it when he caresses me head, and my ear. It calms me.

“Dad, what’s wrong?” I asked, opening my eyes, looking up at him.

He wiped the wetness from his eyes and face, and looked down at me as he gently caressed my ears. “You and I, we are going to spend a very long time together here, boy. You understand me?”

“Here? At home? What about going out? What about Mom?” I asked him eagerly.

I couldn’t wait to grab my bouncy green ball, pee, go to the park, and chase it as he throw it so far away and I come running back to him after catching it high up.

I never missed a ball, ever. He always looked so proud of me.

“I’m going to be taking you out, but not very often. We cannot just go out anymore. We have to be careful, okay?”

He spoke gently to me. He took me up from where I was, and placed me on his lap to embrace me, as he glanced back to watch the tv, watching an old dude talking about something I couldn’t understand.

‘Covid-19’ sounded like an weird sounding planet. I have heard my mom talking randomly about some smaller planet with my dad, but I didn’t pay attention. Who am I kidding? I have an attention span of a dog!

As long as the aliens are not killing people, I am okay with it.

Except the old dude says many people have died…

I shudder at the thought of that.

“Don’t worry, Bobby. Dad will protect you,” I heard him mutter.

 I looked at him, and he smiled at me, with that kind eyes of his.

“I’ll protect you.”

I told him, but he cannot hear me.