It was a dark and stormy night

It was a dark and stormy ni ---

Well, actually it wasn’t. It was a clear, warm, harvest moon type of night towards the end of August. My last weekend at home. On Monday, I would hit the road and head for the “Bright Lights and Big City” to start my real life at university. I’d had it with this back-woods town. Small minded people, living small lives, accomplishing nothing of importance until finally dying an unremarkable death. Get Me The Hell Out Of HERE!!!

It was finally Friday!! I had just told the boss at my stupid part-time job to go screw himself. Dumb bastard. All he ever did was ride my ass. For the past two years after school and on weekends, all I heard were the same orders. Sweep the floor. Take out the garbage. Do the deliveries. What the f--- took you so long? I was the flunky at the local camera store. I had to clean out the darkroom after the processing was done. The darkroom floor would be littered with backing paper, film canisters, and other crap. There were five stores in the city. I was also responsible for making deliveries from one store to the next, collecting all the photo finishing packages and bringing them to the lab, and making sure to get back to the main store in time for the boss to boot me out so he could leave and go bang his mistress before going home to his wife who was dying of cancer. What a piece of work he was. The whore he was banging worked at the store as a clerk. She got all the choice shifts and was always off when the boss was going to be away… Hmmmm. Everyone in the whole company knew (and couldn’t stand her). He really got pissed off if I took a little longer to complete my runs - it meant that he might not get a piece before he had to go tend to his wife. Bastard. May he rot in Hell!

Now, I was done with him and his attitude for good, and never going to look back!! Friday night. Go home, grab a shower and head out to see my girl, Jessica. Beautiful Jessica. Mmmmmm. Tonight I’m going to woo her, take her for a bit to eat, a moonlight drive, and then… Paradise by the Dashboard Light!! Yeah!! Finally going to go All The Way!

Tomorrow, she has to babysit and the parents don’t allow “friends” over while she is looking after their valuable brood. They also have a video camera hidden somewhere, or so it is rumoured, and Jessica truly believes in its existence, soooo, tomorrow is with the boys!!

Hopefully, “Barney” will have some weed to share!! He always has the best weed. We are going to have a Good, Good Time!! Yeah! Ross will bring some homemade moonshine. Whoa! That stuff has to be about 100 or 120 proof! You can light it on fire – but that would be alcohol abuse!  Shoot some stick. Drink moonshine. Smoke some good weed. Does it get better than this??

Then there was Sunday. Well I guess, I’d just have to suffer through the day. The old man and lady (parents) have planned a “Family” farewell party. Yikes! I guess, I will just have to put up with it. Old people, who I either don’t know or can’t remember, or don’t care about, all shaking my hand, congratulating me, and then shuffling off to find the bathroom or their drink. I can do it. As long as those envelopes are filled with CASH!! Then it’s back to Jessica!! Yeah! One more visit to the trough. It’ll be easier now that she gave it up on Friday!! Yeah!! One last time – well maybe two more times!! Woo Hoo!! 

But really, what I’m soooo looking forward to is…. Monday Morning!!! Like NEVER BEFORE!! I used to hate Mondays. Who doesn’t? Argh. Waking up with a hangover, crawling out of bed, going to school (or work in the summer) managing to plow through the day. Ugh! NOT this Monday!! The open road! Just me and My Beast for a car! Yeah! It’s going to be great. It’ll take a couple of days to get there. Stop along the way to spend the night – a little booze – maybe a strange lay – who knows?? Then I’ll arrive – register – find my dorm. Meet some people. Smoke some weed. Drink some booze. Yeah. Life is going to be great. Yeah.

Oh… I’m starting to feel a little sleepy. I wonder why? I’m hearing strange sounds – not quite sure what it means. Sleepy.

Hisss… Crackle…. This is EMT Kael MacKay. We are transporting a motor vehicle accident victim to the hospital. He is about age 20, male, semi-conscious, non-responsive,  pulse is thready at 50, he has flat lined once, we revived with defibrillator and he is on oxygen -- we are 5 minute out.

The EMT’s rush Jason into the ER. The trauma team take over. This is critical. The attending doctor asks; “Have the next of kin been contacted?” The trauma nurse responds, “Yes, his parents are on their way.”

Ok. Take him into the OR. This is going to be close.

Hey, I know you!, Jason shouted!! I remember you from when I was little. Why don’t you look different? Richard, you and I used to hang out together! We would ride around the neighbourhood on our bikes until dark. Shit we had fun. Playing tricks on the old lady down the block. Ringing her doorbell and running away. Yeah. That was fun. But, why don’t you look different?  I haven’t seen you in years and years. 

Richie replied, “Well, that’s because I died when I was seven.”

“What --what do you mean?” Jason stammered. 

Richie calmly spoke. “Jason, listen to me. I died when I was seven.” 

Jason said; “I don’t understand. How can I be talking to you if you died twelve years ago?” 

Richie replied, still in that calm matter:  “Remember, a little while ago when you left work? You got in your car, you were so happy to be free of that place, then you pulled out of the parking lot onto the street. The daydreaming of the days to come caused you to be distracted as you approached the traffic light. You went through a red light just as a transport truck was coming. He couldn’t stop. He hit your car broadside, T-boned it.”

“What -- what to do you mean?”

Richie looked him in his now non-existent eyes and said, “I regret to inform you but you are now dead like me.”