Keep The Light On

I am finally happy. I am finally free. We are at a happy peaceful time. The world has finally been released from the hold of the beasts. We have finally gotten rid of all the monsters that were accidentally created. But the shadows of the past still haunt me, but if I stay in the sunlight, or the streetlamps, then they can’t get to me. I try to live my life in the light. I stay in the sunshine, I always keep my lights on. But sometimes I still see them. Sitting in the shadow of a building, or waiting in the darkest corner of my kitchen cabinets. Sometimes they are waiting in the empty offices I walk by. Clawing at the doors, begging to sink their fangs into my brain. They will try to hide under my car, or in that one closet that doesn’t have a light. They will slink to the edge of people’s shadows, hoping that I will step into their waiting jaws. The creatures. I don’t know what to call them, but if you let them get to you they will show you everything. Everything that ever went wrong. Everything you ever did wrong. They come for me often. I’m the perfect person for them to prey upon. My past is full of mistakes. Mistakes I just can’t seem to let go. Some people accidentally say the wrong name, or jump to the wrong conclusion. Some people send the wrong man to jail. Or some marry the wrong person. My past is a nightmare though. 

Last time I got caught it showed me her. Lying lifeless on the pavement. It showed me, not even noticing until I tripped over her. I had to relive all the grief. I had to find her body all over again. I had to see her covered in the ugly purple marks, the signs that evil had got her. I had to read the note like it was the very first time. It was horrible, that’s why I try not to get caught. I can’t help it sometimes. 

Four weeks ago one hid in my room while I was at work. I wasn’t able to get the lights on in time, and it attacked. This time it was when we created the plan. The plan that was supposed to save us all. She was there again, laughing and smiling without a care in the world. And then it happened. I made the suggestion, I came up with the idea. The idea that got her killed. I’ve started leaving all my lights on when I leave the house now. I also never travel at night without my car lights on. 

A week before that I took a nap around noon, I didn’t mean to sleep for that long, but the night came, and none of my lights were on. It showed me the day she almost killed herself. She thought there was no reason left to keep going. She thought that no one was there for her. I walked in right as she was about to do it. There was a note by her side, addressed to me. I refused to read it, because I refused to let her do it.I stopped her, but that wasn’t the mistake. It was my fault. I knew it was my fault, I shouldn’t have said what I said. And I had to watch her cry and cry, and fight me, just so she could end her own life, and it was all my fault.

About two months ago one of my friends and I were driving home from a birthday party. They somehow convinced me to stay late. They told me to lighten up, and not worry so much. And the word light was all they had to say. I wasn’t worried when we were driving, because there were streetlights. But when I dropped my friend off at his house there wasn’t a porch light on. And the brief moment of darkness was just enough time for one to slip into my car. This time I saw us arguing. She was trying to save me from the worst decision of my life. She was trying to help me, but all I did was yell. I wouldn’t listen to her. I had refused to believe her, even though she had only ever told me the truth. I got angry. And I hurt her. I had to relive the hurt in her eyes, and hear her sobs as she ran off. So like I said, I leave the car lights on when I’m driving at night. 

Some of the creators are more powerful though, some of them just need a dimly lit area to capture you in their hideous claws and bring you down into the memory. One of them showed me the moment it all started. I watched myself make the mistake. I was barely an adult. I wasn’t taking it seriously. I thought it was all just a game. But I did it anyway. I was the one that plunged the world into darkness. The one that made me run off and get my heart broken, the thing she tried to stop me from doing. And the one that caused us to join that team, I had hoped to fix my mistake and she followed me. The reason I made the suggestion, the bright idea that was supposed to help us. The thing that got her killed. I have to relive it all anytime I get caught. 

So I stay in the light, and try to be happy, because that is what she would want. She would want me to live my life, and celebrate in our freedom. That is what the note told me. So I try too. I try and stay away from the creatures. I try to live the way she would. I try to laugh more. I try to brighten other peoples days. I try to live my life like she asked me to.

“Please live life with the light on”.