The Toy Voygaer

Cecil squeezed her teddy bear, Shozzy after Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne, a little tighter as the announcement came they would soon arrive at Kings Cross, London, their final destination.

Shozzy was the more seasoned traveller of the two of them. He had visited many exotic destinations around the world, whereas this was the first time Cecil had left the safety of her village in over ten years.

There had been a time when Cecil had travelled herself, but that had stopped since the incident that could have cost her life.

The train slowed down and almost like they had agreed it together all the passengers except Cecil, put on their coats and prepared to exit. Cecil had nothing to get ready. She had never taken her coat off and all she had with her was a small bag next to her seat. And Shozzy, of course.

She sat nailed to her seat as one by one everyone exited the train. She did not notice the looks they shot at her. A grown woman squeezing a teddy bear like her life depended on it.

When everyone had left the train and the platform had emptied, Cecil still sat squeezing Shozzy. What had she been thinking when she agreed to attend the convention?

“What do you think we should do, Shozzy?” she whispered in her teddy’s ear. “I know you really want to meet your friends from around the world, but I’m not sure I can do this.”

“Are you OK there, madam?”

The question startled Cecil almost as much as the strange accent that delivered it. Looking up, Cecil saw the cleaner starting at her and Shozzy. She nodded, unable to form any words.

“Do you need help to get off the train, perhaps?” The accent was still strange in her ears, but the tone of the words was kind. The large lady with yellow rubber gloves and a rubbish trolley smiled at Cecil.

Cecil shook her head.

“Do you know where you are going?” There was a glint of concern in her eyes now.

Cecil gave her an uncommitted shrug. She had the address for the convention, but no idea how to get there.

“First time in London, yes?” The lady sat down opposite her and the seat squeaked under her. “Let’s see if I can help you. First, we need to know where you are heading to?”

“I have…” Her voice was too quiet. She cleared her throat again. She needed to be louder. The woman smiled her kind smile as Cecil collected herself. “I have the address here.”

She took out her pocket the invitation email with the address and handed it to the woman. Cecil waited as her helper put on her classes and read the address.

“A Toy Voyagers’ Convention. What is that?” Again she looked at Cecil with her kind smile.

Encouraged that she wanted to know about the convention, Cecil sat up a little straighter.

“Toy Voyaging is when we sent our toys to travel the world. Shozzy here,” She lifted him for the woman to see better. “Has been to 27 countries.”

“That sounds interesting.” The woman looked more puzzled than kind now, and Cecil’s confidence vanished. She hunched back against the seat. “Well, your convention is in Pimlico, which is not too far from here. You can either jump in a taxi or get the tube.”

“What is the tube?” Cecil forced herself to ask.

“The underground,” the woman said, and now there was a definite edge of impatience to her. Cecil got the feeling she wished she’d never offered her help. “Both Pimlico and Kings Cross stations are on Victoria line, so it is easy. No changing needed. Now, if you don’t mind, I need to clear up these seats…”

The woman stood up, leaving Cecil no choice but to get up, too. She picked up her small holdall and still squeezing Shozzy to her, thanked the woman and exited the train.

Cecil didn’t feel like ‘jumping in a taxi’ because that meant speaking to the driver, so she opted for the underground. The cleaner on the train had made it sound easy.

“We made it, Shozzy,” she whispered half an hour later, standing outside the address printed on her email. Using her phone to navigate her way from Pimlico station, she hadn’t needed to talk to anyone. “This is it, Shozzy, we are going to meet some of your friends.”

She pushed the door open, and the cacophony of voices that greeted her sent her pulse racing. If it hadn’t been that someone had entered right behind her, she would have turned on her heels, retraced her route back to Kings Cross and got back on the train. But since she couldn’t run, she swallowed the panic and took a few tentative steps forward.

“Welcome,” a tiny woman with a clipboard approached Cecil. She wore a baby carrier and had tucked a black teddy inside. The sight of the bear calmed Cecil. “I’m Lizzie and this is Toby. Who do we have here?”

“I’m Cecil.” She gave Lizzie a timid smile. “And this is Shozzy.”

Lizzie consulted her clipboard, found Cecil and Shozzy, and ticked their names. She handed Cecil a lanyard with Cecil and Shozzy’s names. Cecil pulled the strap over her head.

“Go straight ahead, my dear.” The woman motioned towards the open double doors leading into the main room. “You’ll find some refreshments and plenty of like-minded friends.”

With that, she turned to welcome the next visitor.

Cecil stared into the large hall. So many people. Her eyes widened, and she forgot to breathe. The floor rose to meet her as the walls moved closer.

“Steady there.” She felt a strong hand grasp her by the elbow. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Not daring to look at the speaker, she focused on the hand holding her arm. The fingers, the back of the hand, the wrist, the forearm, her eyes travelled up the arm until she reached the chin, the nose and finally the eyes. A set of blue eyes that radiated warmth and concern.

“I’m not used to big crowds. Not since…” She lost her confidence. This stranger didn’t need to hear about her trauma.

He didn’t need to hear about how she used to tour the world with her violin and play for large audiences. Nor did he need to hear that since the disastrous fire at the last concert she ever played, she hadn’t left her home village. That nowadays Shozzy was the one who did all the travelling.

“Let’s find you a seat and I’ll get you a drink.” The man, still holding onto her arm, escorted her to a row of seats. “I’m Shaun, by the way.”

He helped Cecil into a chair and before she had uttered her name, he was already striding towards the refreshments. She stroked Shozzy’s fur for comfort and scanned the room. The ease that people conversed with each other astonished her. It was hard to believe she had once been like them.

“Here, have this.” He handed her a drink, and she obliged. She grimaced as the strong liquid burnt her mouth. He winked at her. “I asked them to add some extra vodka in our drinks. I figured you could use it.”

“Thank you,” she muttered. She remembered she hadn’t introduced herself. “I’m Cecil and this is Shozzy.”

“Great to meet you both.” The man had a wide smile that reached all the way to his eyes. He put his drink on the small table between them and rummaged in his rucksack. He pulled out Woody from Toy Story. “This is Woody.”

“Nice to meet you, too.” Cecil found the courage to smile back. But her smile faltered as he stared at her sideways, crunching his eyebrows together.

“Hold a minute. Cecil and Shozzy, I know who you are.” His eyebrows straightened themselves and he smiled even wider than before. Cecil liked the wrinkles that deepened around his eyes. “I’ve hosted Shozzy.”

He rummaged through his bag again until he found his phone. He was looking for something and after a short while he smiled triumphantly.

“See, that’s Shozzy, isn’t it?”

He held his phone for Cecil to see. In the picture he had posed Woody with Cecil on a bench with Times Square in the background.

“That’s Shozzy. I remember, that was nearly two years ago.”

She remembered that trip well. Shaun had been a great host, taking Shozzy to all the sights and sending Cecil pictures of where they had been daily. She looked from the picture to Shaun and smiled. Her first true smile in years.

“I lived in New York for five years because of work. Now, I’m back in the UK and don’t know anyone. I’m glad I bumped into you. Because of Shozzy and all our emails, I feel like a know you already.”

Cecil took another, a more careful sip of her drink and this time felt the warmth of it spread through. Shaun was talking about all the places he had taken Shozzy and Cecil was glad he wasn’t expecting her to contribute much.

The more she listened to Shaun, or maybe it was the vodka, the more comfortable she felt. By the time the hall emptied, Shaun had saved her phone number in his phone and extracted a promise from her to visit London again.

Outside, he saw her into a taxi to Kings Cross and stood waving. Cecil waved back until the taxi turned a corner. When she couldn’t see Shaun anymore, she leant back in her seat and closed her eyes.

“I just made my first real friend in years. Maybe we’ll be OK after all,” she whispered in Shozzy’s ear.