An evening at Caesar's

“Died under mysterious circumstances”, this is what the report of Caesar’s case file said. What I saw or what I said?, That never mattered. 

My name is Tim,I’m 15 and according to my shrink I am a victim of post traumatic psychosis, for those who are normal like I was and don't get this, it means I see and believe stuff that does not exist. I have been going to Dr.Fowler for the past one year now where we sit for an hour, twice a week and discuss how the things I felt or witnessed that day was all a lie. That darn day changed my life for good if you ask me and fighting with the reality that I believe in, has become a daunting neverending part of my life since then. Sleepless nights never fail to amuse me with nightmares comprised of dreadful glimpses of blood, of Caesar- my best friend- shrieking till the top of that dingy roof for help and mercy, of looking into his trembling eyes, not knowing it was the last time I will ever be seeing him, I am afraid to close my eyes without a powerful distraction and that is why I am eternally grateful to Angus Young and his team. Now, I am on my way to another session with Dr.Fowler, another futile effort of opening up when you know the other person doesn't believe in you already. But now I feel like I am making progress at convincing myself that lying to him and moving on is the only way for this to stop and I have been doing the same for the past two sessions, I tell him what he likes to hear and I think he's buying it. 

My mom stopped the car as we reached Dr.Fowler's office and I was just glad all of this is gonna be over soon, I don't have to come back to this deranged place where people think I'm a complete wack job every time I try to say what I believe in- kinda like the rest of the world- and everything goes back to the vague idea that I remember in my mind as normal. My mom left me there and told me to go ahead while she parks the car. As I stepped on the sidewalk closer to the building, someone behind the lamp caught my eye, you know, the kinda feeling you get like you know that person. I went further to get a better glance at him and "Voila, it's Caesar '' the person that I had been trying to forget about for a year now, it felt like I was hit by a bus named reality which I was trying to catch for a long time. The air felt thinner as I stood there for a minute, not able to believe what I just saw, pinching myself to check whether it's a dream and to be honest I thought it was. He was looking as calm as an ocean with no signs of childish capers that he once used to do. All of this was so overwhelming that I ran into the office telling myself this is not true. I wanted to go talk to him, but I was done putting my parents through my so-called problems again. 

I reached Dr.Fowler's office with a petrified lurch and sat on my chair quietly. I looked up and saw another doctor sitting with him, a colleague maybe, which was no big deal for me as I've been through this before - For them, I am nothing more than a very peculiar case, worth studying. I still had a few minutes to pass before Dr.Fouler started asking me questions and I can't help but think about that night due to the surprising change of events. It still sends shivers down my spine when I start thinking about that night.

It was another summer evening during the holidays. Me and Caesar started walking home after playing some basketball  for a while with Bill and Mark, talking junk about the new Xbox and the weird relationship between Bill and his long legged neighbor who was a year older than us, he said he was in love and I knew none of us recognised the first thing about it, we had a good laugh about it though. I lived next to Caesars and thus he was closer to me. As we both reached the entrance of his home, it was nowhere to be found, we noticed that the door was already open. His parents weren't supposed to be home till late 9 of that evening and the noises coming from inside added more questions to our suspicions, for a second he thought maybe his cousins were in town, but there was no car outside… I slowly pushed the door ahead and tiptoed towards the hall signing Caesar to be quiet on his way. I don't know the root of my foolish courage that led me on that day, maybe it was my adolescence pumped up on Die Hard fandom. I found blood stains on the carpet, which should have been my first hint to take Ceasar and get out of there, but I didn't. We slowly walked further in and it was like a storm just hit that place, lamp on the floor, all the drawers of the mail table left open, inverted chairs, it seems they were looking for something. It was getting dark out and the wind started to howl through the windows like usual. Suddenly I saw two guys in the kitchen and stepped back right away! I had an idea that Caesar's parents were involved in shady business with the government from my dad, but this scene was horrifying. The dread started to turn in and I stopped right there, Caesar was right in front of me walking towards the other window, trying to take a peek. We started walking on our knees to check out what's happening and I saw something lying on the floor of the bedroom. An involuntary squeak escaped my mouth when I took a glance at it, it was an arm!! I was dumbstruck, too afraid to see if it was a complete human body and then I suddenly heard one guy yelling who's there. I forgot about Caesar and rushed inside the nearest broom cupboard. I wish I had the sense to grab his hand with me but "shit!!!! We're caught" was the only thing running in my head. Two guys came in and they saw Caesar, it was too late, I was able to see everything through the slits on the door and didn't do anything. I wish I had the strength to get out and stop them from dragging him out on the porch, I wish I had the courage to stop them from pulling that trigger, instead of just sitting there and holding my breath to make sure they don't know I'm here. I just wish I was a better friend. 

They didn't find what they were looking for and left. After a few minutes I opened the door and ran towards my home. I already had seen so much blood for the day and anything more would've made me puke till death. I ran to my mother, cried, told her everything but nobody believed me. They calmed me down and took me to Caesar's to ensure that everything's alright and when we got there, it was! The carpets clean and the rugs all neat. The next day a couple of movers came in and emptied that house and said Caesar's parents moved out. I knew it was a lie, but I never saw him again until now. 

I turned towards that door and started wondering what if it was Caesar out there. It was a long shot, but something in me said it would be a huge relief if I find him to be alive, maybe it can ease my conscience. I hobbled towards that shady alley where I thought I saw him and there was nobody there. I was both relaxed and disappointed. "I guess it was just some dumb kid", I said and turned back to walk towards the office to start my lie parade, and "damn!!!" It was Caesar right behind me, in flesh and bones, a completely alive human being. I was so thrilled that I just leaned forward to hug him at that very moment, I don't know what I was thinking. By the time my hands reached his shoulder, his hand knife was in my stomach- penetrating my intestines, blood gushing out of that hole- and I broke down. I saw his cold face which didn't give out any emotion and my consciousness started fading away. "This is for the day you left me hanging, my best friend, just returning the favor" he said and left with a smirk. I was not able to believe that I was feeling guilty for this guy and I passed out trying to get up on my feet. 

Three days later I woke up in the hospital, my mom was leaning on her wrist with her worn face. It's funny that I did not have any guilt of leaving him there anymore. Finally I was feeling like I've moved on with a lesson, a lesson that'll guide me to run the hell out of a shady place next time I find blood stains in my sight. Finally this huge rock was off my chest and I could breathe freely, it was all over, I felt maybe this was a story about how I finally moved on. I touched my heart to check my heartbeat, thankful that I'm alive and to my surprise I found something in my pocket. It was a picture of me, lying on the ground. I flipped it and the note on the back is the thing that still worries me, it said " I'm coming for you, Keep looking Love Caesar!! : )".