SO MUCH TO SPEAK.....

Oh! Hello, mister, how dare you talk to your spouse in such a tone? Are you not conscious of the etiquette to speak to a wife? If I crave now only in seconds, you will discover yourself behind the bars.”, I took my stand. 

I could detect the drunk man in tattered clothes joining his shaky hands kneeled before his companion who stayed beside me. The woman showed respect in her eyes for me. She was full of gratitude. The woman begged me to forgive his husband for his vulgarity he offered to her in his drunken state. After all, he was her husband and father of two.

“Sanchi! Sanchi! Sanchi! Wake up, girl! It’s already time. We need to leave for the inter-college fest auditions." Interjected Neha, my college friend, rather than saying my one and only companion till my present existence.

It was then I realized out of my daydreams. Yes, you guys got it right. I was daydreaming about sitting outside a coffee shop. But the incident was real, with the ruling figure of someone else. 

I can introduce you to myself. As you already know, I am Sanchi Shah from the city of dreams of Mumbai. As portrayed in movies, the girls and boys over here are very friendly and extroverted. Sorry to disappoint you, but I fall out of the line. I am a chatterbox but in my mind. I talk too much but there are only two companions to listen Neha and me I. Likewise; I am not a person who can easily impress someone. I hardly dare to raise voices against wrong in public. So this is all about my bio. 

“Let’s catch the bus, Sanchi! Or else we will be late for the inter-college fest auditions.” Said Neha, half running. I brisked walk behind her, struggling with my messy hairs and flying long kurta. I am worried about the entire world, but fearful to utter a word. I mostly express my views through articles. But the writer is anonymous to all. During my travels in buses and autos, I confront various unavoidable issues such as harassment by the passengers and fooling by the bus conductors. I am frightened to mess with those men. Neha never left me alone. She never left any stone unturned to push up my ambitions. When no one is there, she is there.

Neha was brought up as a single mother’s daughter. She is bold and confronting. She has always been a girl of her own choice. She knew how to prove her existence. In brief, she was my complete opposite.

Neha was going to hold a part in a skit based on Modern Day Problems, where she even wanted me to take a chance for the lead actor. Despite being mindful that stage performances were not my cup of tea, she did her friendship formality. She knew my reply. I disagreed. Neha got selected for the side role as they served the lead part to the Dean’s daughter. 

But my interests were different, which Neha had sensed. I was interested to anchor the grand inter-college fest. But my guts never upheld me to do so. I was a bathroom performer. I did not even dare to attend the auditions. 

The next day, a very handsome senior guy entered our class and made an announcement, “We, your fourth-year seniors on behalf of our coordinators of the inter-college fest, declare the name of our anchor of the show. She is Sanchi Shah. We listened to all audio tracks sent by the applicants and hence let Sanchi Shah be the co-anchor with me.” The seniors left us startled. Everyone including me gazed in astonishment at what we have attended to. Like how can this be possible? I submitted no recording. I raised my scans to look at Neha. She threw me a broad smile. Neha had got my voice recording and applied for the position. She was the only person known to me excluding my parents also who believed that I was the one who deserved to perform.

I instantly made up my mind to reject the offer. In that instance, Neha bumped into me, reminding me of the golden opportunity to co-anchor with the hottest guy of the University. “This won’t help, dear” I replied to Neha. “I can’t” was my answer. Neha insisted upon me to grab the one time chance. “This will be a drastic step towards self-improvement. You will prove your talent in front of the entire world. You will live in your dreams,” said Neha, holding my hands. Her efforts brought no magical change in my inner strength. Neha had to succumb to my decision. They shifted the anchoring job to Arya`, one of the most confident girl in the entire class. 

My lips never held my brain. I was ready with the best dialogues in hand. But there was no audience to hear. This was a glorious chance for Arya`. She secretly stole my dialogues as she had none of her own. 

Nobody would have known also if Neha would not have been there to abuse Arya on the show day. I stood gasped at Arya uttering zero words. Arya had no regrets. Both the hosts got appreciation from the sponsors. Arya became the star of the buzz. I stood backstage once again. It was more of my fault than her. She grabbed the chance, which I missed. Unfortunately, it was not the first time to happen to me. The sponsors felt sorry for my situation. But were helpless. As they had no proof against Arya. 

Be it the college fiesta, or to raise objections in public, I invariably back out. I get so nervous at times that even eye contact becomes too daring for me.  

Observing my miserable condition, Neha asked me to join the self-realization club. I was hesitant at first but later on, I joined because it required me to have a personality change. I cannot waste my career in silence.