The brightest star

When I was a senior in high school, we had gone to our senior sunset. We were there for hours. From sunset till midnight. We had the night of our lives. We were all dancing, laying down staring at the stars, and listening to music. It was the picture perfect senior year moment. It was that thing I'd seen in the movies and wished for it. I was with my boyfriend at the senior sunset. We were just laying down together, staring at the starlight. His mother had passed away during our freshman year. We were having an amazing moment together. He said he remembered the night that his mother passed away, he saw a bright white star next to the moon. He always said he thought it was his mother. That night, we saw the exact same star. I completely came into tears when I saw it. I knew much that made him happy, it was amazing to see that twinkle in his eye. I told him, “you know she’s right there watching you right. She knows this is the most important year of your life. She's right there with you.” Everything he did and everything he’s going to do it for his mother. She was his biggest inspiration in everything he did. 

College was the next chapter in our lives. We were off to college in the next few weeks. We were ready to have the time of our lives. We spent our whole high school career with our noses in a book. College is our time to have some fun. Still prioritize our education but not as hard as we did before. During our time in college, we spent a lot of time volunteering at a children organization. We both loved giving back to children. We know children are the future.

Our first semester was amazing. We were both so involved in clubs and organizations. We had great grades, not straight A’s, but still well enough. Freshman year of college was our best year. Our relationship was the healthiest it has ever been. We were able to balance everything perfectly. During our christmas break, we headed back home. He went with his family and I went with mine. His family had a trip to Lake Tahoe. He was gone for 2 weeks. He came back early to meet me for Christmas. On his way back home, he was in a head-on collision. 

When I received the call that he was in a collision, I rushed to his location. I was worried that he was severely injured. I arrived at the scene. I saw his sitting there staring at the car. He was in shock. I ran to him and hugged him. We both started crying as we hugged each other. He said, “I killed someone.” In the collison, there was a man and woman in the other car. The man was intoxicated and didn’t see him. He passed a red light, and rammed into my boyfriend's car. I grabbed his face and told him, “hey look at me. You did not kill them. You followed every rule. They were intoxicated, they didn't see you.” He looked at me and I saw that he didn't believe any word I said. He said, “those were someone's parents. Someone’s kids. Someone’s family. Someone’s friend. Their kid is going to live without a mom and a dad. Just like me.” I grabbed his face, “No, baby. You know, that there was nothing you could have done to prevent this. They hit you in a blind spot.” After being questioned by the police, I took him home with me. 

The next few weeks, the guilt grew more and more. I didn’t know how to make him feel better. The police talked to him, explaining that it wasn't his fault. They showed him tapes, showing that he had no fault. I saw that, not even that was working. I sat down with him and asked him to talk to me. I wanted to hear his thoughts. He ranted for a while. He was explaining why he felt like it was his fault. “If I had slowed down before crossing, then there would have been no collison.” I saw his point but I also told him that he was just following the rules. 

A couple days later, the family of those who passed away came to visit us. They wanted to talk to us. My boyfriend was speechless to see them. He kept apologizing to them for taking the life of their loved ones. They told him that they didn't blame him for what had happened. “It was their fault for not being responsible. They knew what was going to happen when they started driving.” That made him feel a little bit better. He got to meet their little boy. The little boy said, “I’m sorry my mom and dad messed up your car. I told them to stop drinking because something bad was going to happen.” My boyfriend finally came to the realization that it was 100% his fault. No one was blaming him.

After our break was over, we headed back to school. My boyfriend went back to school, with so much ambition. He was determined to try to do something to help other families affected by drunk driving. He made a PSA video about the effect of drinking and driving. He provided the aspect of the families of those who pass away as well as the aspect of those that are in the collison. He made the video and posted it online. Within hours, the video went viral. He wanted to create a message to make people aware that it affects so many people. That night we laid down in the campus center. We sat and had a late night date to watch the star. I expressed my love for him and the work he was doing to help others. We held each other close and looked up into the sky. As we looked into the sky, we saw the bright twinkly star. He said, “Hi mom, I miss you.”