Unconsciousness

The too white walls of the hospital were starting to give me a headache. 

Everything was too much. The too bright fluorescent lights on the ceilings, the too loud beeping of the heart monitor and even the too clean stench of the rooms. 

The only splash of color in the room was one of those motivational posters in the center of the room. Dabs of pale blue and murky yellow against a black background. It would’ve been a beautiful piece of art if not for the bold white letters printed over the daubs of color. 

Everything is and will be even more amazing !

No it’s not. If it was, I wouldn’t have ended up here in the first place.

The constant cold wind from the air conditioning above was starting to raise goosebumps on my exposed arms. The filtered sun rays were slowly dimming against the constantly grey sky. I looked at the clock on the wall.

5:30 p.m. 

Time for dinner.  The sound of footsteps neared, and a familiar smiling face walked in through the opened sliding doors. She looked the same as she did yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that.

Humanoids. That’s what they were known as.

“Fakes !” Grandpa used to say and spat at the ground every time he saw them. 

They were everywhere. 

Nurses, attendants, drivers, butlers and even nannies. 

They were supposed to revolutionise the working world - human’s best assistant. 

“Helper my bloody ass. They are going to take over the world one day.” Grandpa’s voice echoed in my head as a tray was placed before me. 

I avoided the piercing black eyes of the machine, choosing instead to stare at the bowl of brown mush on my tray. No changes for the menu today, it seemed. Still the same questionable brown slush that somehow tasted like everything and nothing all at once. 

The automated feminine voice sounded, as a glass of water and some pills were placed on the tiny bed-table beside me. 

“Vitamins and medicine.”

I nodded my head in acknowledgement as she leaned in to adjust the tubes on my body. Her hand was cold as it brushed against my skin, leaving my hair standing in its wake. Her too-wide smile did not falter as she left the room. 

My eyes landed on a blue pill in the pile of tablets and I picked it up, turning it over and over with my fingers. Strange. I haven’t s

een it before. Perhaps it was the sleeping pill I requested, or perhaps it was extra vitamins to get me functioning throughout the day. It did not matter. Anything to calm the chaos that was my mind. 

I could imagine the frown on grandpa’s face if he saw me taking all these pills. I could almost hear the disapproval in his voice as he told me to toss them and drink some tea instead. 

Finishing off the bowl of brown mush, I downed the glass of water, along with my pills. I could already feel the effects starting to take over, my grandpa’s face slowly blurring and fading until all that was left was soulless grey. Even his hoarse voice became a low hum. 

It was peaceful, serene. No thoughts, no noise. Nothing. 

My eyes were flitting shut, my mind carried away by the slow breeze of nothingness. That’s when I saw the blue pill still sitting beside the now empty glass.

The automated feminine voice rang in my head as I reached for the bottled water beside the glass. 

“All provided medication shall be taken for results.” 

The blue pill was small, easy to swallow. It did not take long for my brain to slow down again. It didn’t matter what the pill was for, as long as it worked. 

Drowsiness soon seeped in and all I could see as I closed my eyelids was blobs of paint. No, not paint. It was colour. Red. Blue. Green. I don’t remember ever seeing so many colors together. The colours started to blend in with each other, swirling together over and over again to form even more colors. I was too tired to fight against falling into unconsciousness, so I gave in.

I felt as if I was falling from the tallest building in the world. Shapes and patches of color flew past as I plummeted. Everything was a blur, and yet the sounds in the background were clear. Voices ranging from the deepest bass to the sweetest soprano could be heard. I closed my eyes as the nausea struck, trying to block out all sight and sound.

When the noise was finally gone, I opened my eyes. 

The first thing I saw was blue. Bright blue with swirls of white. Rays of blinding light filtered out from beneath the cotton-like fluff. It was warm. 

I was laying on a field, surrounded by shades of green. Vivid smears of pink, orange, purple and white covered the field, and it took my still foggy mind a moment to register that it was alive. Real, living flowers. Not those painted over pieces of plastic back home. 

It was then that I noticed the sound. No, it was not mere sounds. It was an ensemble with hundreds of voices, each with a distinctive melody, all melding together to form the most graceful song. 

Sitting in tall, branching shades were birds. Birds of varying colors and sizes that I’ve never seen before. Birds that were flying, free of the steel cages and chains. 

And that was when I began to remember. Colors, music, nature. All the things I thought I’d never be able to see again. 

I moved through the green field, soft brown supporting my feet as they landed. There was something clawing at my chest. My heart felt as if it was overflowing. It was a feeling I’ve never felt before. An emotion I’ve long since forgotten. 

Golden rays of comforting warmth licked at my bare arms, bathing me in yellow light. Straight ahead of me was the source of the light. It was a large circle with amber light spilling and reaching the whole stretch of land. Sunshine. 

The skin on my face stretched, and it did not take long to realize that my lips were curved upwards and the corners of my eyes crinkled in a foreign expression. I would have thought my face now mirrored the unfaltering smile of the humanoid when I caught the familiar hunched over shadow of an old man. Again, I was overwhelmed by the strange forgotten emotion as I sprinted in the direction of the old man and into the welcoming arms of the golden orb.

I have never felt so alive.

I have never felt so real.

I have never felt so …. me.