Where there is Smoke

“Where there is Smoke.”

             “By the time I stepped outside, the leaves were on fire.” The colors are so vivid that a person can almost imagine the leaves on fire as smoke rises from the campfire.  Ally, my older sister, pokes the wood, creating more smoke than fire. As I approach Ally, I can hear her tiny, quiet intake of breath. I could quickly think of offering my help, but I thought it would be best to wait. After all, she was the one who initially suggested we spend a weekend in the ‘great outdoors.” 

             “Morning,” Ally ginned, way too chipper for this time of day.

                            “Morning,” I mumble, shoveling my hands into my pockets, trying to ward off the crisp autumn chill.

             “Want some coffee?”

                            “Black?” I moaned

             “Of course,” Ally said, “Is there any other way to drink coffee?”

                            ‘In that case, I think I will pass on the coffee.”

             “Suit yourself.” – Pouring herself a cup of coffee. Between the aroma of the freshly brewed coffee and the distinct smell illuminating from the fire gave way to another point of time. Something familiar and yet clouded like the smoke.  A sense of déjà vu crept over me as I casually looked around at our surroundings.  

             “Ally, were we here before?”

                            “I don’t believe so, Kara,” she probed, “Why do you ask?”

             “I don’t know. It’s just something familiar, that's all.” I shrugged. I was still trying to shake off the chill in the air.  As I strolled back to our cabin, the leaves crackled under my hiking boots. Lending way to my imagination of the leaves was actually on fire. 

             “Where ya, going, Sis?” Ally yelled

                            “ To get another jacket,” I off handy said, “I’m cold.”

             “Don’t you want breakfast?’

             “What’s for breakfast?’ I hastily said, secretly hoping that it wouldn’t be just cereal. After all, I ate enough cereal to fill a barn. 

                            “You know, my specialty.” Ally joked as her footsteps soon fell into step with me. “Together” again after all these years, how long has it been my voice muttered.

             “What did you say?” She curiosity look at me with that pondering expression of hers.

                            “Nothing,” I quickly answered, to avoid any unpleasantries.

             “Oh,” Ally commented, “I hope that you are hungry.”

                            “Yeah,” I said under my breath. I noticed Ally’s small, thin statue of hers compared to my somewhat larger built. It wasn’t always this way. Back in our younger days, we weighed about the same. Somehow she managed to keep her weight the same while for me. Let us say that my love for food never diminished. My passion for food kept on growing.

****

             Our cabin had a small, cozy living area, a much larger kitchen and eating area, and two separate bedrooms, beside a modest bathroom.   “Home away from home.” Was how Ally had first described the cabin.  And seeing the place, I have to admit that I am pleased with her choice. I was amazed that we still have a similar taste when it comes to style, even all these years.

             As I went to get another jacket, Ally has already been busy making Breakfast. She is so much like our mom. I thought as I sat down at one of the chairs in the kitchen.  I quietly sighed, remembering our mother, who had died two years ago.  She was the one who held our family together through good and bad times.  Never a complaint, regardless of how things were, she always made sure that we had enough to eat.  Memories that brought a smile on my face, good times I whispered.

             “Did you just say something?” Ally said, wiping her hands on the towel hanging on the stove.

                            Clearing my throat, “I just remembered mom.”

             “Yeah, I do miss her.” Ally softly said, easily getting distracted, “What was I doing?”

                            “You were”-

             “Huh, yes,” Ally said surprisingly, “I remember,” turning her attention back to the stove. The sound and smell of eggs frying with the sizzle of bacon started to make my mouth water. It was another small reminder of a happier time.  Back when, -

             “A penny for your thoughts.” Ally said, interrupting my thoughts

                            “What?” 

             “Silly girl, what has you in such deep thought?” quickly adding, “We are here to have fun and to catch up.”

                            “Yea,” I stuttered as she set my plate on the checker table cloth. One of our moms’ favorite.  A hint of nostalgia, as I softly intake a breath. It was just another reminder that we are the only ones left in our family.   “Dig in, “ Ally grinned.  She had already started eating. With my fork in hand, I hesitated for a moment.  

             “Hey, we forgot to pray.” As I continued,” We would always pray with mom.”

                            Putting her fork down, she glared at me, “Mom’s not here. And, besides, when was the last time you pray?”   Ally’s words stung, like tiny bees.   I glanced down at my food. I had to admit that she is right in what she said.   Clearing my throat, “ I, um.., sorry, You’re are right.” However, I would not say I liked to apologize. But I thought it would be best to make amends with Ally since we are here, to have a good time.

             “ Apology accepted,” she continued, “Now, let’s eat!”

 I would say, Breakfast was excellent, especially the food, not to mention the company. We chatted for almost an hour afterward.    It felt good spending time together, just like old times.  If mom could only see us now, I mused to myself.  I had to smile as Ally was busy straightening up, ‘her happy place.’ That’s what mom had called it back when we were teenagers. So I stepped out her way, lingering around the living room till the way was clear.

             “So, do you want to go for a walk down to the lake?” Ally said as she wiped down the counters.

                            “I just thought about taking a walk by myself, If you don’t mind?”

             “Oh?” her eyes downcast, “I thought that It would be fun going exploring together,”

                            “I know its’,” shallowing, “I just want some time alone, to”-

             “To what?” Ally demanded

                            “ To think,” I quickly answered.

             Not skipping a beat, Ally quickly disappears into her bedroom. At first, I was confused until she brought out a backpack. She must have been keeping this a surprise.  “Here,” she smiled, “This is for you.” 

             “I don’t know what to say, thank you.”

Handling the backpack to me, Ally explained all of its contents, a flashlight, map, compass, bottle of water, and snacks.

             “Oh, yes, I almost forgot, a walkie talkee.”

                            “A walkie talkee?”

“Yes, you know, just in case if we, um, you get lost.”

             “Okay?” I stuttered. 

***

             By the time I stepped outside, the leaves were, crunching under my hiking boots. Following Ally’s directions, I head down the path leading me into the Forrest. The warmth of the sun broke through the clouds as they drift across the crystal blue sky.  As I take a quiet tiny intake of breath, adjusting the straps on the backpack. I turned to catch a glimpse of Ally rocking on the porch of the cabin. Humph, I mused, the picture of her rocking on the porch reminded me of something. Though, I can’t be sure of what it was about that whole image.  Still, seeing her there gave me comfort. 

             Each step took me further into the canopy of colorful decorative leaves.  The vivid colors of reds and oranges appearing like small flames of fire.  Now and then, there came splashes of yellows and green leaves. It was taking me more in-depth in its gasp, leading me to somewhere to another place and time.  There was an eeriness about this place.  And also, It was tantalizing at the same time.

             “What was that?” as I turned and stared in the direction of the sound of rustling among the trees.    In the distance came a snap of a twig. Instantly I froze in mid-stride and waited. Quick, slow breathes of air staining to see if whatever it was that made that noise would at any moment burst through the trees. Was it a bear?” I could not help to wonder.   Was it, Ally? – “Was she following me to make sure that I wouldn’t get lost?

             Another twig snapped as a figure emerges out from the trees. “Run,” I muttered, but I could not move. It was as if something was preventing my feet from moving.  I held my breath as the figure came closer and then.-

             “Hi,” the stranger said, “My name is Tom.”

             Words form in my mouth, but only silence escaped when I opened my mouth to say, “Hi.”

                            “Oh, I’m sorry, did I scare you?”

             “Huh?” I said as I felt my cheeks getting warm.

                            “Did I scare you, Miss?” Tom commented with an uncertain glare.

             “Um, no, not really,” I stuttered, wiping my sweaty palms on my jacket.

                            “I guess we’re neighbors. My boys and I are staying in cabin number seven.” Tom probed, “How about you? What cabin are you in?”

             “I’m sorry, but I,” I mumble, “I don’t know.”

                            “Oh?”

             “Fire,” the leaves were on fire. That was what I kept on thinking—figuring on how to escape from here.   Then in the distance, raised voices calling out, “Dad,” “Dad.”

             Tom said, “I guess I should go,” quickly, as he had first appeared, he disappears back into the Forrest. Relief swept over me, breaking the unforeseen of whatever it was that kept my feet from moving. Suddenly a faded memory invaded my thought. Dad, dad, I mused that word over again and again.  What was it?  

             Leaning against an old oak tree, then just as a curtain rises from a stage revealing the play-actors.  It came to me, what was so familiar about this place. Immediately, flashes of memories sailed across my mind. They were like dreams, foggy, and unclear. Yet, ah, I remember, a fire. Closing my eyes, I could see my dad and I fishing down at the lake. “Dad,” I said, “Why doesn’t Ally like to come fishing with us?” Stroking his chin, he always would say the same thing, ‘Ally likes to spend time with mom, you know, cooking and cleaning,” With a wink, “Not like us, who enjoy spending time in the outdoors. Like fishing,” “Oh,” I replied. 

             Suddenly we spotted smoke rising in the distance—fire licking up the sky.  My dad commanded me. “Go back to our cabin,” As he races off toward the fire, I follow as close as my feet were able to take me. A cabin engulfed with flames as a woman frantically screams, “Help me, my child’s still inside!” Instantly my dad rushes past the woman and disappears into the fire. I was holding my breath as I felt my tears fall. For the first time, I experience fear for my dad.

Fear that he would die, saving a child.   As the ambulance and the fire trucks arrived on the scene, my father emerges from the fiery wall carrying a small bundle—a child wrapped in a blanket.  That’s when the realization finally soaked in- it was the last time I saw my dad.

             “Ally,” I stammered in the walkie-talkie, with no response.

I called a few more times, frantically yelling her name, “Ally,  Ally,” Fear rages in my heart, fear that there is something wrong.  I race through the woods, breathing heavily with every step. Stopping only one more time as I called on the walkie-talkie. I was desperately trying to reach my sister.  When hope was fading, she answered, “What’s going on?”

             “Are you safe?” I bellowed

                            “What?” she uttered

             “ Are you okay? Why didn’t you first answer my call?”

                            “Yeah, I’m fine.” Ally continued, “Are you okay?

             “I’ll tell you when I get there,” I stammered, “Leave your walkie-talkie on, okay.”

                            “Okay?”                   

             I was breathing a sigh of relief as our cabin gave into view, seeing Ally standing there. Even from this distance, I can see a look of disdain on her face.  I quickly waved to her, and despite the chill in the air, tiny beads of sweat started to form on my forehead.

             “What’s going on?” Ally demanded

                            “I, huh, was worried about you,” I said in my defense.

             “Worried?”

                            “Yeah, worried,” I said

             “About what?”

                            “Let’s go inside,” I abruptly said, as the door closed behind me.

             Ally just glared at me and said, “Are you going to tell me what’s all this about?”

                            “Yes,” I continued, “Please have a seat.”

 “Do you remember that fire when we were ten and twelve years old?

             “You mean the one that..”-

“ The one where dad..”-

             “Died?” Ally’s words echo through the stillness in the cabin.

“Yes, and I believe that it was here,” I quickly said, “I know it sounds strange, but um, there’s something familiar..”-

             “About this place?”

“Yeah, about this place,” I firmly said

             “So now, what?” her words spat out

“I want to leave.”

             Ally glared and said, “Leave? Now? I just paid for the whole weekend, and because you have a feeling about this place. This cabin, you want to leave? Really? –

“But..,”

             “But what?’

“Please,” I softy said

             Ally took a quiet intake of breath and disappeared into her room. Her suitcase was packed and ready to go.  Bewildered, I just stared in disbelief, wondering how long has she been prepared to leave.

             “Well, aren’t you going to get your suitcase?”

“Yeah,” as I trotted into my room, anticipating to pack when there was my suitcase lying on my bed already packed.

             “When? I said

                            “After your call,” Ally added

             “But what was all of that…”

                            “I, well, couldn’t resist,” Ally teased, “You know me, the drama queen.

             As we drove off in the distance, we could see black smoke rising as flames licked the sky. And an unsettling feeling started to overcome us, wondering if it was our cabin engulfed with fire.

             “By the time I had stepped outside, the leaves were on fire.”