Have a Magical Day™!

February 18, 2019

Ms. Gilman,

Thank you for your feedback. We appreciate you reaching out to the Department of Complaints in regard to your less than satisfactory Magical Wish Granting Experience™ with Khamul the Grand (ID: 47-829351). Here at Genies Inc., we strive for superb customer satisfaction and are sorry that you did not have a positive experience.

We regret to inform you, however, that we are unable to address the complaints you filed. Upon reviewing your request, we forwarded it to our Division for Dissatisfied Customers. They will be able to address your concerns. Please allow 2–3 business weeks for them to respond.

We thank you for your support and hope you have a Magical Day™!

Sincerely,

Ewell Dylone, Complaint Specialist

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May 11, 2019

Ms. Gilman,

We recently received your file from the Department of Complaints and have reviewed your case. Unfortunately, upon further review, we are unable to address your concerns. While our department deals with customers who had a non-pleasant Magical Wish Granting Experience™, your complaints falls under the purview of the Office of Undesired Request Fulfillment.

We have forwarded them your case, and they will get back to you within 2–3 business weeks. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause.

We thank you for your support and hope you have a Magical Day™!

Sincerely,

Anita Drink-Moore, Customer Service Specialist

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September 21, 2019

Ms. Gilman,

We have reviewed your request and, unfortunately, are not able to process your requested wish refund. As per our policy, any request that is fulfilled in an undesirable manner may be submitted for a refund. However, upon further review, your case does not meet the necessary requirements to do so. Below is an explanation of our decision.

Wish #1: “I wish for a boy friend.”

In your letter, you wrote, “When I wished for a boyfriend, I meant a romantic partner. The wish that was granted was just a boy who was a friend. That is not what I wanted, so I am requested a refund.”

Unfortunately, you submitted your wish via a vocal channel instead of a written channel. As such, Khamul the Grand (ID: 47-829351), and any other Genies Inc. representative, is not liable for any misunderstandings that may arise from ambiguities within the spoken language. As can be read in the Terms and Conditions on the bottom of the genie lamp you rubbed, had you opted to submit your wish in writing, the difference between “boyfriend” and “boy friend” would have been clearly defined. However, your vocal request’s lack of clarity—and thus your dissatisfaction with said fulfillment—does not fall within the legal responsibility of Genies Inc.

Wish #2: “I wish I had one million dollars.”

In your letter, you wrote, “Wishing for one million dollars was straightforward, and I’m beginning to think Khamul just wanted to be difficult. What am I supposed to do with a briefcase full of $13 bills? No bank I took them to would accept them as valid currency.”

Unfortunately, your wish did not specify the size of bills you requested to be paid in. As such, Khamul the Grand (ID: 47-829351) was free to create the $1 million in whatever form deemed appropriate. The money you have is real; the refusal of a bank or any other entity to accept those bills is not the responsibility of Genies Inc.

Furthermore, when we provided a solution to redress your problem (although Genies Inc. had no legal obligation to do so), you responded, “What the [expletive redacted] am I going to do with 100 million pennies!?”

Due to both the ambiguity of your request and your denial of our suggested improvement, Genies Inc. has no further legal obligation to refund your wish.

Wish #3: Unused

We noticed that you still have not used your third wish. We would like to remind you that it is valid up to one (1) calendar year after you rubbed the lamp and released Khamul the Grand (ID: 47-829351). Your final wish is not redeemable for cash and cannot be resold or exchanged.

Any further concerns or questions can be directed to our Bureau of Consumer Feedback. Please allow 2–3 business weeks for them to respond to any inquiries or feedback.

We thank you for your support and hope you have a Magical Day™!

Sincerely,

Kizma Butte, Senior Fulfillment Officer