Homebird

Maedb had always been a homebird, as her mother would say. She liked being at home. Home was nice, home was safe.

As a child, she hated being anywhere that her parents were not. When she got dropped off at school, she would cry and cry and cry, morning until lunchtime, because she always felt a little bit better after her peanut butter sandwich and Kitkat.

Her mother still talks about the time she took her to swimming lessons, and the swimming teacher having to have a word with her after the lesson, telling her she’s really sorry but she has to say something, it’s just not fair on all the other kids that Maedb just screams and screams for the whole half hour. Don’t bring her next week. She’s banned.

As a teenager, she was more or less the same. Her friends would go out every day after school. She was always invited, but she wanted to be at home. Her mother would say, ‘Maedb, go out why don't you, go have some fun, live a little’. But Maedb would sit in her room, listening to Britney Spears, fantasising about becoming a pop star, and write in her diary who she had a crush on that week. She sometimes went downstairs and sat next to her Mother and Father on the sofa watching the television. Sometimes, when she felt like doing something crazy, she would go for a walk.

The thought of going out to socialise after school horrified her. Having to stand in a field, probably for hours, because there was nowhere else to go. Never, she thought. Over her dead body. She was always going to be a homebird. And when she grows up, she will live in her hometown with her Mother and Father. Or she’ll buy the house next door, or if she absolutely had to, the house down the road, but no further. No way.

Maedb spent a lot of her twenties at home, however, she did go to University to Dublin. It was the scariest thing she has ever done. She would call her Mother at least five times a day. She’d tell her everything. She even told her about all her dates and everything that was said. She told her about her current new love interest, Tony, and that she thought it was going really well, so when Tony broke up with her out of the blue, that being the sixth time she’d been dumped in her twenties, Maedb, well, she’d had enough.

When Maedb called her mother on this cold and windy Wednesday afternoon telling her she was moving to Australia, it was not a call she thought she would ever receive.

‘I’ve had enough of Irish boys Mami’, I’m leaving, I’m going to Australia’.

Her mother was standing in the kitchen when she had the phone call. She was just about to do something, but had completely forgotten what it was after she heard those words. She froze, her hands doing random circular movements in the air.

‘Australia?!’ Her voice was so high-pitched she thought she could have broken one of her fancy crockery.

‘I know, Mami, it’s far. But it’s where all the girls go these days. Everyone is there, it might feel like home in a way'

Her mother managed to sit down. Took a breath. She had always wanted Maedb to go away and live her life, so why does she feel like she’s just been punched in the gut?

‘Where’s Dad?’

Australia, her mother thought. Could she have chosen a further destination? No, no is the answer to that. Well, apart from New Zealand, she guesses, but that is not the point. The point is that it’s very far. But she might not actually go, will she? What if she wanted to come home? How long is the flight? How could she..

‘Mami?’

‘Your Dad went to visit Thomas Penny, his friend from chess club. He’s not doing very well. Pneumonia. Poor thing’

Maedb could picture the newspapers spread across the kitchen table. A little note here and there ‘ gone shopping’ ‘gone to church’ ‘in the garden’ amongst all the paper. She could feel the warmth of the room, knowing that the aga would be on. She could see her niece's art on the wall, a picture of five stick people, a sun, and a house, with the words ‘my family’ above it. She could see the blue and white crockery all sitting nicely on the cabinet. A few Mother's Day cards and Happy Birthday cards there, a few picture frames.

‘ I know this is not like me, Mami. But, I’m turning thirty next year, so I thought Fuck it, if not now, when? You always told me to leave Killarney, telling me I should go spread my wings. Well, the day has come, all I needed was another bloody narcissistic man to give me the last push’

‘I know I did love, and I meant it. It’s just, Australia, it’s just a bit of a shock that’s all. That’s all love. Bit of a shock. But your father and I will support anything that you do. Why don’t you come over? We can chat about it in person. I’ll put the kettle on love’

‘I can’t come over, Mam. ’ Maedb took a deep breath 'because I’m at the airport’

‘At the airport?! But, what do you mean? What about Visa? Do you have enough money? Who will you stay with? Why are you going now? What about a goodbye?’

Maedb had never felt this much guilt in her entire life.She had always been a good girl. Her Mother and Father never had to worry about her drinking underage, like most of the kids in her year. They never had to worry about her not doing well at school. They never had to worry about her having sex in a bush, like she heard had happened a worrying number of times. So, this was their time, unfortunately, she told herself. But overall, not that bad.

‘I’ll call you when I get there. Love you, Mami. Tell Dad I love him too’.

Maedb hung up before she got the chance to hear what her mother had to say on the side. She triple checked her flight number on the board. Turned her phone off. Made a beeline for the bar. Ordered French fries and a large glass of red wine.

...

Maedb woke up. Where was she? Why did she feel so awful? She quickly realised she was on the flight to Melbourne. She was hungover and her mouth felt as dry as the Sahara Desert. How many wines did she have? She didn’t want to think about it. She drank all the water she had that was sitting on the table in front of her, next to her uneaten dinner. She pulled her blanket up and put her eye mask back on.

The second time Maedb woke up, she heard the announcement

‘Good Morning everyone, and I’d like to welcome you to Melbourne, Australia. Local time here is six thirty am, and it’s currently 19 degrees. Going to be a scorching day’

As she gathered her things, she heard another voice, a male voice, that was sitting right next to her,

‘You passed out through that whole ride! I’m so jealous. How could you do that? I don’t think I slept a wink ‘ Sitting next to her was a very handsome fella, she thought.

‘ Haha, well, I drank like 5 glasses of wine and two gin and tonics before getting on so I think that did it’

‘Oh really? Alright then, I’ll make a note of that’ He gave her a nice smile.

Maedb was humiliated that she had been asleep for the whole time. Was she snoring? Was she sleep talking? Before she could give it any more thought, she was walking off the plane. Double double-checking all her pockets and bags as she was walking. Phone, check. Passport, check. Dignity, fuck it, check.

She couldn't believe it. She was here. After only thinking about this five days ago, she is now here. In Melbourne. In fucking Australia, for crying out loud.

‘Passport?’

Oh my god, the accent. She thought. How bloody cool is their accent! This was officially the most exciting moment of her life. She'll remember this moment forever.

‘Oh yes. Sorry. I have it here, erm, wait, sorry’

She was rummaging through her bags. Where is it, where is it? She just had it. She just had it.

‘Sorry, I’ll just be a minute’

Three minutes later, Maedb still could not find her passport. She kneeled down on the floor, and took every single item from her bag. One by one, and then put them all back in. But her passport was not there.

‘If you can’t find it, I’m afraid you’ll have to step into my Office’

This can’t be happening, Maedb thought. How can this be happening?

‘ I must have just dropped it, I’ll be back’

She retraced her steps. She walked all the way back to where she got off the plane. The flight attendant was still there.

‘Can I help you?’

‘YES! I think I’ve left my passport on the plane. I thought I had it, but I don’t. I must have dropped it on the floor. I know which seat I was sitting in, if I can just’

‘I’m sorry. I can’t let you do that. The cleaners have been here cleaning for the last ten minutes. They could have found it’

‘ That’s great!’

‘No. I mean, we have protocols for this kind of stuff. If someone else finds it, like a cleaner, you know, there are identity risks in that’

Maedb’s head was spinning.

‘You mean you can’t even just check? If I don’t find my passport, I’ll..I’ll be deported'.

She almost laughed as she said it. Her, Maedb, getting deported.

‘Don’t know what else to tell you, sorry’

Maedb felt deflated. What on earth was she meant to do now? She slowly made her way back to the security desk. The man was still there, waiting for her.

‘I’ve lost it’, she finally said as she got to the gate.

‘Alright, come with me’

…

Maedb was on her way to the seventh floor. Tonight, she will be sleeping in room 702. Tonight will be her only night staying in Melbourne. Tomorrow, she will be getting deported.

She switched her phone on. She got wifi access. She waited for her messages to get in.

Mami - ‘Maedb we think you’re absolutely bonkers for going at such short notice’

Mami- ‘Maedb, it’s your mother again, absolutely bonkers, but we are SO VERY proud of you, call us when you get there!!’

I can’t do this, Maedb thought. She turned her phone off again. She showered. She put on Shania Twain. She ate the last Kit Kat that was sitting at the bottom of her bag. She put on some makeup. Fuck it, I’m going to that airport bar.

As Maedb was sitting in the airport bar on the tenth floor, looking out at the city in the distance, she smiled. Who was she kidding? she thought. She would have never actually lived here, would she? She couldn't just leave her life at home, just like that? She had rent to pay, firstly. She hadn't even told her landlord she was going. Secondly, she technically told her job she was leaving, but she also did tell them it was just a holiday, and she’d be back in a month. Where was she going to live in Melbourne? She knew in total about two girls here, but they were obviously busy doing their own thing. This was never actually going to work out. What was she thinking?

As Maedb was thinking, a small piece of paper fell out of her pocket, with a number on it, and a note,

‘Hey! I’m the guy who was sitting next to you on the plane. I hope you don’t think this is creepy, but I wanted to give you my number, in case you fancy meeting for a drink sometime? :) I’ve just moved here, and have zero friends! Robert x, p.s. Do you know you sleep-talk? You said ‘Passport’ and ‘Homebird’ a few times! Anyway, give me a shout!’

What on earth? Thought Maedb. That is so odd. How did her subconscious sleeping self know that she’d lose her passport? She copied the number into her phone. Put the piece of paper back in her pocket.

Maedb ordered a cheeseburger and another gin and tonic. She made her way to the bathroom. Oh crap, it’s my period, she thought. She opened her bag. She rifled through it.

Wait—what was that?

Her passport.

She sat on the loo, holding it, stunned.

It was here. The whole time. The whole fucking time.

Walking back to her seat, the waiter stopped her.

‘Where are you sitting, miss?’

‘Oh, outside, on the balcony, number 109, I think it is’

‘Yep, good memory! Here on holiday, miss?’ the waiter asked,

‘Holiday’, she smiled ‘Home tomorrow’.