The Death of Not Letting Go

On a planet called earth in a very large city there was a very tall building where the 27th floor was just above the halfway point. And on the 27th floor was a business that had a breakroom in the center of the floor, next to the main stairwell, which housed a rather ordinary water cooler that dispensed filtered water into the styrofoam cups of the men and women who worked in the business on the 27th floor that was just above the halfway point on a very tall building in a very large city on a planet called earth, which happens to be the planet some very vicious, technologically enhanced non-earthlings were heading toward.

On that fateful day, Jordan and Kasey each reached the water cooler at approximately the exact same time, styrofoam cups in hand. They looked at each other for an awkward second.

“Ladies first,” Jordan said with a slightly forced smile and motioning towards the water cooler.

Kasey gave a truly forced smile and nodded her head ever so slightly. She stepped forward to fill her cup. Jordan rocked back and forth on his heels, counting the tiles of linoleum around his feet. Just as the water reached the desired level of Kasey’s cup, there was a loud boom, and the room swayed, the lights flickered, and Kasey’s water spilled all over the floor. 

The non-earthlings had arrived.

Kasey growled and wiped water droplets off her wool skirt, muttering to herself. Jordan wasn’t listening because he had moved to the door of the break room and was peering out onto the 27th floor. Kasey continued to mutter to herself as she walked over to get some paper towels from next to the sink, still holding her styrofoam cup with a couple mouths full of water left in it. She was walking back to clean up her mess. Suddenly the door slammed. Kasey screamed. Her cup was now empty. And now she had two messes to clean up.

“Jordan! What is the matter with you?” she screamed. Jordan’s eyes were huge and he was standing with his back against the door. His styrofoam cup rolled around in circles on the floor until it came to a stop. Jordan shook his head and motioned for her to “shoosh!”

“Wh-what? What’s going on?” Kasey asked as Jordan began pushing the refrigerator towards the door. “Oh, no, you’re not going to trap me in here with you for another one of your twisted pranks,” she dropped her cup and paper towels and ran for the door.

“Kasey! No!” Jordan yelled, reaching for her. She ran past him and the refrigerator to the door and flung it open. Then she pulled to a sudden stop. An epic view of science fiction carnage and destruction stretched out before her. Non-earthlings and business people ran around on the 27th floor shooting laser guns and being shot, as buildings outside collapsed, and foreign looking spaceships flew around in the sky as far as the eye could see. Kasey quickly slammed the door shut again, ran over next to Jordan, and began pushing the refrigerator. Together they got it in place and stepped back. 

“What on earth was that out there?” Kasey asked.

“I don’t think it is anything on earth,” Jordan responded. “Well, I guess, it’s on earth now--They are on earth now--so--”

Kasey growled at him.

“It’s the end of the world, and I’m trapped with you!”

“It’s not so bad,” Jordan said, making his way over to the counter next to the sink. “If we can get up into the ceiling, and maneuver our way over to the main stairwell next to this room, we should be able to quickly escape down the stairs.” He began climbing on the counter.

“Yeah, down 27 floors filled with murderous slime monkeys,” Kasey said. “No way.”

Jordan stopped and looked at her. “How do you know they look like slimy monkeys? To me, they’re in some kind of sophisticated space suit.”

“Non-earthlings are always slimy in the movies,” Kasey said, folding her arms. “And they have jerky movements that remind me of monkeys.”

“Hmm,” Jordan said in an approving way.

“But we are not going to go down the main stairway to escape!” Kasey said. “We’d get caught for sure.”

There was another explosion, the building swayed, and lights flickered. Jordan and Kasey looked up and around the room.

“Fire escape stairs?” Jordan proffered.

“No, they’re so tiny we could get trapped easily,” Kasey said. Jordan squatted on the counter and looked at Kasey.

“Ok, Ms. Pessimism,” he said. “What’s your brilliant idea to get out of here?”

Kasey tapped her fingernail on her teeth as she thought.

“Please!” Jordan said, covering his ears. “Do you have to do that? It’s like fingernails on a chalkboard.”

“Are you calling my teeth chalkboard?” 

“No, I’m just saying that fridge,” he pointed, “isn’t going to hold your slime monkeys off for very long. It’s after lunch now, so the fridge is not very full. How do you want get out of here since you’re shooting down my ideas?”

“Your ideas were sure death!” Kasey said. It was Jordan’s turn to growl. “If we had ropes, we could repel off the roof,” Kasey said to herself. “Or hang glide away, if we had those.”

“And then get shot out of the air by those crazy flying slime monkeys. Nope, I’m sticking with my plan and going out the main stairway.” Jordan stood up and removed the ceiling tile above him. He stood up with his head in the ceiling now, and he could see the ceiling above the main stairwell just a short distance away. He ducked down and looked at Kasey again.

“Come on, Kase, trust me on this one,” he said, extending his hand toward her. 

“Trust you!” She yelled. “That’s what you said when you proposed to me!”

“Oh no, not this again,” Jordan said and put his head in his hands. Suddenly one of the non-earthlings pushed the door open and saw them.

“I’m not done here!” Kasey yelled at the non-earthling. “Come back later!” The non-earthling held up its hands and backed away, closing the door behind it. Kasey pushed the refrigerator back into place with a loud thud. Then she turned to Jordan, who was scrambling to get up into the ceiling.

“And then you left me at the altar!” Kasey said to him “No way am I falling for that again.” Jordan dropped from the ceiling, unable to get up. 

“Yeah,” he said. “because Ryan and all my groomsmen played a prank on me and accidentally locked me in the hotel bathroom the night before. The maintenance guy was an idiot and couldn’t open the door, but even the fire department couldn’t get the lock working. Finally the fire department pulled out--”

“The jaws of life, yeah, and your phone dropped into the toilet before you could call me. Save your breath, liar,” Kasey said. “I’ve heard it all before. You go down the stairway. I’m going to break a hole through the floor here and jump into the break room of floor 26.”

“Oh, I hear they have good pastries there. Save me one if you can.”

Kasey glared blunt objects at high speeds at him, so he scrambled to get up into the ceiling. He jumped and jumped and tried pulling himself up. However, all his time at his desk job at the business on the 27th floor had not helped his bicep size. He opened a cupboard and tried to use it like a ladder, but another explosion sent the building swaying and lights flickering again. Jordan fell out of the ceiling, off the counter, and toppled to the floor, with an avalanche of extra coffee filters, tea bags, and styrofoam cups collapsing on top of him. Kasey stifled a giggle as she searched for something to dig with. Jordan unburied himself and stood up.

“Look, Kasey, I think our best chance is up and out,” he said. “I think digging down to the 26th floor is going to take too long. Though it is tempting to try it for one last pastry.” Kasey glared at him again. “Anyway, up is going to be our best escape.” He looked up at the hole in the ceiling and then at Kasey. “Can you give me a boost?”

Kasey folded her arms, and then looked around the room. There really wasn’t anything strong enough to break through the floor anyways. 

“Ok,” she finally said. “But I think it would make more sense if you gave me a boost first and I pulled you up.”

Jordan stood there with his mouth open for a while. “What?”

“I’m lighter, so it will be easier to boost me up. Don’t even try to pull the ‘I’m’ a guy so I’m naturally stronger’ bit. I got the guns to get you up there.” She flexed her biceps as proof.

Jordan took a deep breath. “Does this sound familiar?” Then in a falsetto voice he said, “Don’t worry Jordan, I got the guns to hold the counterweight to your super spectacular prankmaster 5000 that you spent two months designing to prank your roommate, Josh.”

Kasey rolled her eyes and folded her arms again.

“And when he took a fraction of a second too long, your ‘guns’ failed, you dropped the counterweight too early, sending the entire contraption skiwampus, and I spent my entire life savings paying for the windshields of a BMW, a Mercedes, and a Kia.”

“Ok, so I’m not an endurance flexer, but I'm great with short bursts. I can lift you up there quickly.”

“No way!”

“What ever happened to ‘ladies first’?”

“Because you’ll get up there and run off, just like you did when we got caught movie hopping at the theater that one time.”

“I thought you were behind me,” Kasey said. 

“Then why did you laugh and say ‘good luck sucka!’ as you ran off?”

Kasey quickly became very interested in the mess on the floor. There was suddenly a loud boom at the door, and the fridge was knocked to the other side of the room, smashing into the wall there. Luckily the break room door hit the wall and bounced back closed.

“It doesn’t matter,” Jordan said. “Come on, give me a boost, or we die here.”

“Oh, listen to Mr. Dramatic over here. I still think I should go first,” Kasey said.

“No way life savings destroyer.”

“Hey, I don’t want to hear it alter abandoner.” Kasey said, taking a step closer.

“Too bad, leaver of friends when you get caught.” Jordan said, taking a step closer.

“You don’t treat your friends much better, Mr. Let’s-dump-a-bucket-of-Kool-Aide-over-Kasey-just-as-she-is-leaving-for-her-roomate’s-father’s- funeral!” Step closer.

“Who has a funeral on April Fool’s day? Ms. I’ll-post-all-over-every-social-media-platform-the-lie-that-you-sing-in-the-shower-to-Celine-Dion.” Step closer.

“You do sing to Celine Dion.”

“But not in the shower.” 

They both stepped closer at the same time and now they were nose to nose, glaring into each other’s eyes with all the passion they could muster.

“Whatever, Mr. I’ll-follow-you-to-your-new-job-because-I-can’t-live-without-you.” 

“It’s not my fault your bosses saw my raw potential, Ms. I-just-happened-to-buy-a-house-down-the-street-from-you.”

“It was my friend’s house, and I was doing her a favor, Mr. Hey-George-swap-cubicles-with-me-Oh-hi-Kasey-my-next-cubicle-neighbor!”

“It’s not my fault he was next to you, Ms. I-just-so-happen-to-be-thirsty-whenever-you-are-so-we-end-up-in-the-breakroom-at-the-same- time!”

“I-I-I do not!” Kasey yelled. “I always thought you were following me to the break room just to torment me. Like some sick prank, Mr.-Mr.--.” 

Suddenly, Jordan grabbed her around the waist and pulled her close, giving her a deep, strong kiss. Kasey did not fight, but embraced him and returned the kiss. And that’s when the entire tall building with floor 27 just over the halfway point finally collapsed in a thunderous roar of dust, bending rebar, and broken concrete. The non-earthlings were gone now, the large city in smoking, burning rubble. Desolation as far as the eye could see. 

Gone now was the water cooler, styrofoam cups and all. Gone was the break room next to the main stairway, and the business that had operated on the 27th floor just above the halfway point of a very tall building that had once stood in a very large city on a planet called earth, which was now much more vacant.