“We’re hooome!” my cousin exclaimed as we opened the door. Even after eighteen years, I’m still not used to her loud-for-no-reason yelling. I just sighed, gently closed the front door.
“Welcome home, Misses.” our head maid, Grace, smiled and greeted. Ruby dumped everything onto the maids' hands and literally flew into the living room. They turned to me but I just shook my head.
“I’m fine. Thank you, Lily and Lyra.”
“Grandmother, I’m back!” Ruby exclaimed and flew into her arms.
“Oh, welcome home, my little jewel.” my grandmother exclaimed, patting her hair. “How was school?”
“Pretty good as always.” she charmed.
“Hi, grandmother.” I smiled, walking into the living room and she glances up at me, “Ah, welcome back. Hope school was good for you.”
“It was.” I smiled.
“That’s good.”
“Grandmother, if you don’t mind, I’m gonna head to my room.”
“Alright.”
“See you for dinner.” She just nodded and I started walking up the stairs to my room.
“Grandmother, you’re coming to the game next week, right?” I heard Ruby ask.
“Of course, sweetheart. I would never miss any of your performances.”
When I got to my room, I put my bag at the foot of my desk and belly-flopped onto my blue, king-size bed. But, after a few seconds, two heads popped in my doorway.
“Ew, it’s Diana.” I could hear the smirk in his voice.
“Ew, it’s my big bother, I mean, big brother.” I said. A smile crept onto my face.
“Looks like our DeeDee’s back.” my eldest cousin, Miranda, said. I looked up at them whilst laying on my stomach. Mira came and sat on my bed. I moved up to rest my head on her lap while she gently stroked my hair. “So adorable.”
“Adorable, my butt.” my brother snorted. I reached for the closest pillow and threw it at him which made him laugh.
“Take this.” He picked up the pillow and threw it back. But it hit Mira instead.
“Oops.” my brother grinned. “Looks like I hit the wrong person.” I looked up at Mira then we sat up and both flung a pillow.
“Oh, oops.” she mocked. “Looks like we hit the right person.” We both started laughing.
“You guys are so getting it.” Tyler replied with a huge side grin. We were too busy throwing pillows that we didn’t hear there was someone at the door.
“Whoa.” he said, catching a pillow. We all turned to face the door.
“Ayyy, it’s-” Tyler started but got punched in the face by a pillow.
“Jason!” I walked toward the door. He pulled me into a hug and we gave each other a small kiss. Then, a pillow hit my back and I glared at my brother.
“Be considerate to the single people here, please.” Tyler said and I stuck out my tongue.
“Person.” Mira corrected. Ty threw another pillow at Mira. After a bit of more pillows, my aunt yelled up the stairs.
“Time for dinner!” As soon as we fixed my room, we went downstairs, chattering and laughing.
“Ah, our grand-babies!”
“Gramps!”
“Come give your old man a hug.” my grandfather exclaimed happily, holding out his arms. We all gave him a big hug then stood around him.
“Oh, come on, gramps. Stop saying old or you’ll actually grow wrinkles.” Mira commented.
“Yeah, gramps.” Ty added. “You def ain't old.”
“To us, you’ll always be our young, handsome-looking grandfather.” I said, giving him a peck on the cheek. Gramps laughed whole-heartedly which made us all smile. Even though he’s turning 63, he looks like he’s in his forties.
“Ah, Jason’s here, too!” grandfather said happily.
“Good evening, si-.” Jason greeted him.
“Uh uh. It's gramps.” my grandfather teased. “In my mind, you’re already one of my grandchildren.” Jason and I looked at each other and smiled.
“Come, sit down.” Mira on grandfather’s left, me on her left, then Jason and Ty. As soon as we settled, Ruby and grandmother came in.
“What’s for dinner?” Ruby said very loudly, looking at the table. “Ohh, Jason! You’re here, too.”
“Uh, yeah.” he said as his mouth twitched.
“Hiii, grandfather.” Ruby lightly hugged him.
“Hi, Ruby.” my grandfather patted her back. “How are you, sweetie?”
“I’m goood.”
“How was school?”
“Goood.”
“That’s good to hear.” gramps said as my mother placed our plates of spaghetti in front.
“Oh. It’s… spaghetti.” Ruby murmured while her siblings gleamed at their plate.
“Finally eating spaghetti again.” gramps commented with a grin.
“I so love mom’s cooking.” Ty added after finishing in like five minutes.
“Who doesn’t?” Jason responded.
“Yeah, auntie always makes the best dinner.” Mira chimed in. I couldn’t help but grin at mom.
“You make the best meals, Izzy.” gramps commented. Mom’s childhood name.
“Glad you guys like it.” my mom said, returning a soft smile. After we finished, we sat around and just relaxed.
“Grandfather, are you coming to my performance next week?” Ruby asked.
“Yeah, dear. Ruby and the cheerleaders are performing that day.” grandmother said then turned to Ruby. “Oh, I can’t wait to see you perform, sweetie.”
“Which day?”
“Friday.”
“The 27th?”
“Yeah.”
“Isn’t that day also Diana and Jason’s game?” gramps asked us. We nodded.
“Oh, really?”
“Didn’t you say you were busy when Diana asked you like… last week?”
“Did I?” grandmother asked as Jason squeezed my hand.
“Uh… yeah.” I put my hand on top of Jason’s and smiled. “But it’s okay, gramps. I asked too early. Grandmother probably didn’t know that she’d be free now.”
“Y-yeah.” grandmother commented. “Sorry, hon.”
“It’s alright.”
“I can’t wait for Friday!” Ruby exclaimed as she came over behind us. “I’ll be cheering for you, Jason.”
“And Diana.” he added, without looking at her.
“Right. And Diana.” she murmured and walked back to her seat. What’s she glaring at?
“Friday will be exciting.” gramps said.
“I know, right?” Ty answered.
It's now the twenty-seventh of May: our semi-finals. This year, it’s taking place at our opponent's school. I’m sitting on the bench with my elbows to my knees, already dressed in our jersey, looking at the floor. I felt a touch on my shoulders and looked up to see Jason squat down in front of me.
“You okay?” I nodded. He raised an eyebrow. I just smiled. “It’s just- we’re finally here after so long.”
“Yeah.” he said then sat next to me and put his arm around me. I rest my head on his shoulder.
“I’m just a bit nervous.” He placed his hand on top of mine.
“Don’t worry. Once we get onto the court, I’m sure you’ll forget the nerves.” I nodded as our teammates filed in one after another. Then, coach pulled us into a group huddle to go over our strategy and like twenty minutes were up. The starting lines took their places and the game began.
After the first quarter, the other team was up by six points. Welp, here we go, time to play, I thought. I smiled. We managed to tie up in the second half. I was sweating heavily as I walked off the court to meet the arms of my friends.
At half time, the cheerleaders of both teams were performing. The performance was actually pretty decent and Ruby was stunning. Our grandmother was very loud for a sixty-two year old elderly. Both Jason and I are both playing in the last two rounds. Third quarter was long and tiring, compared to the first two, and we’re behind by four points.
It’s the fourth quarter of the game. All the captains stepped onto the court. Our team is down by two points and the game is almost over, less than thirty seconds left. The other team was on offense, they shot but missed. I jumped and grabbed the rebound with ten seconds left. I ran and dribbled down the court then I pulled up just behind the three-pointer line, stepped back and put up a jump shot. The final buzzer sounded as the ball was making its arc. It was like the world slowed down. Everyone’s staring and holding their breath.
This is it.
...
No way.
The next thing I knew, Jason lifted me up in his arms, laughing and cheering. Our teammates rushed onto the court, even the crowd erupted into cheers. I was lifted up by our team and my brother.
“We did it! We did it!”
“We won!” When I came back down, Jason and I embraced then he leaned and stole a kiss.
“That’s our captains.” Everyone cheered and laughed.
After the game, my family went home to do a mini-celebration dinner.
“Congratulations on your victory!” gramps said, placing a hand on Jason’s shoulder. “That last point was simply amazing, Diana.” Jason smiled and kissed the side of my head.
“Yeah, it was right on time.” Mira added.
“So proud of you, Diana.” mother smiled.
“You’ve gotten so much better.” Ty told me. “Not better than me though.” Mira smacked his arm.
“Grandfather. Grandfather, how was my performance?” Ruby chimed in.
“It was pretty good.”
“Did you see my stunt jump?”
“Indeed. It was great, dear.” gramps said then turned to us. “Diana, Jason. Work hard and do us proud once more during the finals.”
“We will.”
“Good, let’s eat and celebrate tomorrow.”
Today, we are hosting a pool party to celebrate our victory at the semi-finals. All of our teammates came over.
“To the finals!” one of our teammates cheered.
“To the finals!” we all said, clanking our drinks.
“Let’s not forget our MVP, now!” Jason added, elbowing me. I pouted and glared but he just grinned and pulled me into a side hug then raised his glass. “To Diana!”
“To Diana!”
“Thank, guys. But I shouldn’t take all the credit. We all did it together.” I said.
“Aish, look at you being noble.”
“In case you didn’t know, if you didn’t make that last shot, we would’ve lost.”
“Okay, guys. Why don't we enjoy some food and drinks? Also feel free to go in the pool.”
“Ah, thanks."
"Enjoy yourselves.” I looked over and saw Ruby and grandmother talking. I took a plate of small sandwiches and drinks to bring to them.
“Ruby, grandmother, are you hungry? I brought some food and drinks.”
No answer.
“Do you want some?”
“Does it look like I want some?” Ruby said.
“You should think of others, Diana.” grandmother told me. Huh?
“It’s always about you. You always steal the spotlight. Why do you always get everything? First, our cousins, aunt and uncles. Then, Jason. Grandfather. And now, the entire school.”
"I'm sorry, Ruby, I didn't kn-"
“If only we didn’t take you guys-” my grandmother widened her eyes like she said too much.
“I-”
“Shut up!” The next thing I knew, my entire body was falling backwards into the water. What?! No! Nooo! Someone help!
“R-Ruby, h-help.” I said, trying to keep my face above the water. But my eyes started to close and my body was getting heavy.
“Diana!” I heard someone yell. Everyone turned their attention to the water. Jason widened his eyes and immediately dove into the pool.
“Diana!”
“What’s going on?”
Jason pulled me above onto the concrete. I started coughing and opened my eyes slowly.
“Diana! Are you okay?” everyone was asking.
“What happened?”
“She wanted to go swimming and jumped into the pool.” Ruby said.
“Like hell she would. You know she can’t swim. Why would she just jump in?!” Jason said, clearly angry.
“How would I know?!”
“J-jason…” I said. He turned around.
“Are you okay?” I nodded and he held me tight.
The incident at the pool seemed to be just the beginning. One morning, I found all my shoes messed up and trashed. My notes and textbooks were either missing, ripped and torn. Much of my wardrobe went missing. I saw Ruby wearing them the next day and claiming she bought them all. Grandmother picked on every little thing and yelled at me every time she got the chance. She did all this behind gramps’ back. After gramps wanted to give my family most of the inheritance, my second aunt and uncle did a whole 360. If it weren’t for my cousins, brother, Jason and my friends, I don’t know what would've happened.
One day after school, my brother picked me and Jason up. Our moods were happier than we were these weeks. But as we got closer to the door, the yelling and pleas from inside got louder. Our smiles disappeared and we quickly rushed inside.
“Don’t call me mom! You’re not even our daughter! You belong to that scum in prison! You and your stupid family had to come ruin mine!” That’s when we heard several thumps and then a loud thud. When we got inside, we found grandmother at the top of the stairs with ruby and my second aunt behind her and at the bottom was…
“Mom!” my brother and I cried out. I cradled her and noticed her head was bleeding a lot. Jason immediately called an ambulance. From the way she was laying, she fell which made me look up the stairs.
“What the hell did you do to our mother?!”
“I…” she muttered. Ruby held grandmother tight in an embrace.
“She tripped on her own.” my second aunt said, looking away.
“She couldn’t have.” I clenched my teeth through tears. “She’s on her back.”
“You...!” Ty gritted his teeth and clenched his fists. He would’ve charged up the stairs if Jason didn’t hold him down.
“Ty! That’s not our priority right now. We got to get your mom to the hospital now.” Tyler calmed down and punched the wall.
“If anything happens to mom, I’ll send you to the next life.” my brother scowled.
Now, we’re all at the hospital. I’m sitting down with Jason holding me tight. My vision blurred as tears continually streamed down my face. My brother was pacing angrily and worried in front of us. Then I heard footsteps, I looked up to see gramps, elder aunt, Mira and dad.
“Dad…” I cried, reaching out. My dad immediately hugged me tightly.
“Your mother will be fine. Don’t worry. She’ll be fine. She has to be.” dad said but I knew he was scared, too. Scared to lose mom. Immediately, gramps went over to grandmother and slapped her so hard she fell onto the floor. Ruby held grandmother as gramps stood over her fuming.
“Don’t think I don’t know it was you.” gramps yelled.
“Dad, calm down.” Elder aunt said. “We’re in the hospital.”
“I don’t care.” gramps said. “She deserved this many years ago.”
“What?” grandmother looked up, confused.
“If anything happens to Isabella, I won’t forgive any of you!” gramps yelled at the three of them then turned to grandmother. “Especially you!”
“Why do you care so much about them?!” my second aunt said. “She’s not even your daughter.”
“Yeah, they don’t belong here.” Ruby exclaimed. “They're not related to us.”
“Who are you to say where they belong?” Mira yelled.
“Eleanor, Isabella has always treated you well and took care of you and this is how you treat her?” my elder aunt said to my second aunt. “I don’t care about whether she’s related or not. She’ll always be my elder sister.”
“She’s not your sister, Elena. Nor is she your daughter, dad. Mother was kind enough to take her in because she felt bad for her, for not having a mother.”
“But do you know why Isabella does not have a mother?” my grandfather asked angrily. “It was your mother who framed Emilia so that she, herself, wouldn’t be in prison.” I looked at grandmother.
“I-I did not.” my grandmother yelled then pointed at the door then at us. “No. She’s not your daughter. Nor are they our grandchildren.”
“Who says she’s not mine? But she’s most definitely not yours.”
“What are you saying, Liam?” my grandmother asked with shock. “W-we only have Elena and Eleanor.”
“You know exactly what I’m saying, Amora. If I had known then that it was you that framed and put Emilia in prison, I would never have promised her to take care of Izzy with you.”
“W-what?”
“I would have raised Izzy by myself but Emilia insisted that her daughter have a motherly figure. Ha, some motherly figure you were. You treated Izzy like some outcast. Thank god for Elena and Izzy’s kid heart.”
“Dad…” my elder aunt said.
“What?”
“Don’t what me?”
“How did you know all of this?”
“You think you’re the only one who knew Emilia was three months pregnant while being in prison?” my grandfather yelled. “She went to jail for you, because of you. And did you care? No. You even took-” My grandmother fell on her knees. Then gramps turned to my aunt.
“Your mother? Kind? She framed her own best friend so she can live and took Isabella because she didn’t want anyone to know. But Emilia told me that we had a daughter but was taken by who? Your mother.”
“No, I-”
“You ripped her life away, you took her daughter, our daughter, away from us. You destroyed her very dream to become a mother and to live a peaceful life. And don’t think I don’t know that it was you, your daughter and that granddaughter of yours that kept going after Isabella, and her children.”
“Grandfather, you got it wrong.” Ruby said.
“I got it wrong? And you. I know it was you who pushed Diana into the pool and did all those nasty things to her. If only Diana wasn’t kind like her true grandmother.” Then he turned to grandmother. “With a grandmother and mother like you, no wonder they turned out like that. Evil, cruel and heartless.”
“No, Liam, it’s not like that.”
“Don’t touch me. If anything happens to my daughter, I’ll make sure you regret it for the rest of your life. And strip you of what you stripped from Emilia years ago.”
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4 comments
You spend a lot of time on small talk at the beginning and then rush through the secret at the end. It felt a bit forced. Also, with this many characters, make it clear who is talking, what the relationships are, and what they are doing. There's a few time that what is happening gets a little lost. I'd put clear story telling over stylistic writing. Also, two things that don't make sense to me personally. The grandmother seems to do a 180 between the first family dinner(?) and the second half of the story. Why? I personally need more than o...
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Thank you for the feedback!!
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See, whew...lots of moving parts! Be careful with the formal names, titles and pet names, it makes it tricky to keep everyone straight. In your story, it is important to know who is talking. The team playing...took me a minute to realize it was basketball. Not until Diana was dribbling. Also, it was distracting because it is a co-ed team. So now I don't know if it is a school, church or youth group event. The secret is good and should be developed out some more. Again, tricky to know who is talking and hiding info. Keep it up!
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Ah! Thank you for the feedback!!
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