Second Guess

I walk through the white corridors which never seems to end, it felt an eternity to reach the third floor. Nevertheless I dont feel better when i reach the receptionist desk. 

" hello, please is doctor Robert here? I have an appointment " I nervously ask the woman sitting behind the red desk. 

She doesn't seem to pay much attention to me as she is typing something on her computer, i hope she is verifying if my appointment still holds. I keep waiting for her to finally give me an answer, I am already nervous, being here right now is not easy for me, if everything I want is run back down to my car and go away forever. 

Now she is just being impolite, so I tap my nails noisily on her desk it only takes a second for her to switch her attention from her computer to me with a scold and i suppress the satisfying smile rising on my lips.

"Yes?" Is all she ask looking at me with dead glares detailing me from head to toe with obvious disdain. 

" Dr Robert, is he here? I have an appointment " i give her my best fake smile 

She sights and clack her tongue...ok

She taps on her computer and raise her head to face me, 

" please wait over there, he will be here soon" she points the cozy waiting area 

"How soon?" I ask impatiently, I just want to get o er with this soon

She sights again before making a call, i assume she is calling the doctor or i will really loose my patience this time.

"He will be here in thirty minutes, he was called for an emergency " she finally says after hanging her call. 

I turn without sparing her another glance and go to one of the red chairs .

I heavily sit and burry my face in my hands, thinking about nothing in particular, trying not to ask myself why iam here in the first place. I finally raise my head to look at the brochures in front of me, reminding me why i am here, making me feel bad for some reason.  

The constant PING! On my phone irritates me more than everything, Jack keeps texting me, asking if everything went well. I groan and set off my phone, tired of his insensible texts.

He is not really asking me if everything is fine for me, he wants to make sure i get rid of this as fast as it came. I feel tears rising and close my eyes to prevent them from falling. I have no right to cry, this was my fault too, what a terrible idea to have an affair, with a man who was power thirsty and capable of everything just to achieve his plans.

I still remember two weeks ago, after spending the night with him , that morning was horrible because not only was I exhausted, but I couldn't do two steps without feeling nauseous if he saw anything he didn't say word but kept looking at me coolly, all the tenderness of the previous night gone, he left my apartment in silence and went back to his rich fiancee. 

I was used to that, sharing him with another but i felt special because I knew all his plans i was he confident, the one with who he couldn't pretend . I never really thought of the future, not until one week ago, when the results came out. I remember crying of sadness while the doctor smiled and even congratulated me for my pregnancy. Going back to my place I felt drained, like that simple news took every thing away but opening my door and seeing the man i loved with all his flaws sitting there smiling at me, with a bottle of chardonnay waiting for me.

"I'm glad you are finally here, i have great news" he said that before handing a champagne glace for me and at that moment wondered if my news was a great one too

I silently smiled and took a little sip of what he gave me, just to have some courage and give him my own "great news"

"Aren't you curious to know , usually you always have something to say." He says raising his brows, irritated that I'm not hectic to hear what his news is.

"Don't mind me, I'm just tired but tell me" i force enthusiasm in my voice with a fake smile and he smiles at me too before turning his back to me and walking towards the huge glass window contemplating the town like he owns it already. 

" rebecca will become my wife in two weeks and with that i will become president of the company and administrators of her father's wealth. " he was still looking through the window not realizing he just crumbled my world with those words, i had never seen him this happy before. 

"Jack... ja..what about us ?" I was not only referring to our relationship but to the little thing growing in me.

"What do you mean, you always knew my plans why the scene and for God's sake stand up!" 

I hadnt even realized I sank to the ground and I still had the results in the brown envelope in my hands. I suddenly threw it at his feet, furiously like the paper was burning my skin. He looked at it before bending to pick it. He suspiciously opened it looking at me from time to time while reading. His face suddenly hardened and before I knew it, he was infront of me pulling me from the ground, his nails digging in my skin.

" look at me" he said calmly but cruelly and i raised my eyes to meet his death glare " I need your full attention and I can't have that if you have that child, plus I will get married soon, you wouldn't want to ruin my reputation or your child to be a bastard, do you?" 

I slowly nodded, not believing what he just said. I couldn't see clear, not with all the tears in my eyes not with the hurt I felt. I knew all this but kept on with this relationship what did I think my future would look like, No, how could I ever thought there was a possible future. 

"You know what to do" is the last thing he said before living me that day.

The sound of a ringing phone brings me back to the waiting space I open my eyes and the tears I tried to suppress earlier finally fall and my heart skip a beat when I see him sitting on the red chairs across mine , his hands supporting his chin, looking at me knowingly. 

"Miss Baker, the doctor will recieve you" the annoying receptionist finally speaks but my body won't move , my heart too doesn't seem to be beating anymore 

I see him standing from his chair walking to mine, calmly with a mix of anger and tenderness. 

"Come with me" is the only thing Jack says for me to take his hand and follow him to the office before opening the door he turns to kiss me, a deep one and more tears fall from my already wet eyes 

He came to make sure it was done, he came because he knew I will have a second guess and run away from this place without coming back.

But sadly he had my heart 

He opened the door and I left my love and respect for him there.