Relics of the Past

For the first time in a while, Brianna needed to take a trip to the cupboard under the stairs where her hobbies went to die. This time, it was not to dump the supplies she no longer felt compelled to use, but to retrieve something from a long-forgotten obsession with nail art. She had recognised a tool from a card making video, remembered she owned one herself, and decided to take a dip in her trove of eclectic tools, fabrics and machines. When she opened the door to the dark space, she made a face at the slightly stale, damp smell.

It was her friend’s birthday, and Brianna had come up with the genius idea of making her a card. She had done her due diligence to ensure her success, watching multiple card-making videos, searching crafting blogs for tips on card-making must haves, and picking out an impressive pop-up card to recreate. She’d already dabbled in origami, so she was only mildly concerned about her skills. In her mind, she was going to be the best card maker ever. Her friends would anticipate the arrival of their birthdays, not for the presents or the parties, but for the arrival of her beautiful cards in their post boxes.

Predominantly through touch rather than sight, she found her plastic crate of surprises at the back of the cupboard and half-heartedly cleared a path to drag it out. When she stood up, Brianna hit her head on the ceiling of the dark cupboard, forgetting about its slope, and she swore loudly as she rubbed her fingers furiously against her scalp between her braids.

“Bri?” She could hear her sister’s questioning voice muffled through the walls as she turned to dump the crate on the floor so she could close and bolt the cupboard door, “You alright? You know you could have switched the light on to see better.”

“I’m fine Raquel,” she called back, “don’t worry.”

Brianna huffed as she dragged the plastic container along, trying to decide how she felt about her sister visiting home. Raquel was twenty-four, making her four years older than Brianna, who was spending time with her parents during the summer before her last year of university. It was only a matter of days before Raquel went back to the flat she shared with her boyfriend and Brianna did not want to misuse the time she had with her, but it made her want to scratch her own eyes out and trade her ears for diamonds when she had to watch the way their parents fawned over Raquel. It made Brianna bitter and angry and she hated feeling like that. Her thoughts had only soured with the way Raquel reacted to hearing her bump her head.

Despite her reassurances, Brianna heard her sister’s footsteps on the stairs above her as she emerged into the corridor with her box, squinting at Raquel where she stood, backlit by the light from the front door. Being the eldest sister, Raquel always acted as if she were responsible for any injuries that occurred to her siblings when their parents were away, most likely because she often got blamed, so it was no surprise that she came running even though she looked like she would rather be anywhere else.

Raquel scanned Brianna from head to toe with her dark, cat-like eyes. Brianna hadn’t seen her yet that day and noticed that Raquel’s hair fell in its tight coils to her shoulders unlike the day before when it had been tied up into a tight bun at the top of her head, and she had changed her diamond nose stud to a silver ring. She twisted her full lips and folded her arms across her chest, seeming to draw herself up to her full height as she surveyed Brianna, who was three inches shorter. Raquel would have never said she was the best-looking sibling, but that did not stop Brianna—who believed being smaller, less curvy and less mysterious looking than her sister—from thinking she was hideous in comparison.

Raquel’s eyes came to rest on the box in Brianna’s arms and one of her brows arched on the end. Brianna had never been able to raise just one of her eyebrows like that and it had always been a sore point between them. “What the hell were you doing in there, Bri?”

The things inside the box rattled and clattered as Brianna lifted it towards her sister, as if she were blind not to see it. “I was getting my stuff,” she explained and shouldered past her sister, heading to the stairs so she could get on with her master plan to be revered by her friends for her professional standard cards.

“What ‘stuff’?”

Raquel followed Brianna up to the room that used to be hers and watched as her sister sat on the cream carpet, neatly folded her legs, and removed the lid from the crate. “Bits and bobs. Odds and ends…” Brianna paused and said under her breath, “relics of the past.”

“Past?” Raquel echoed and Brianna rolled her eyes to the heavens. Her sister’s ears were even more tuned in than their mother’s, a woman who seemed to hear her children’s whispered swearing and negative comments from behind locked doors. “You mean you don’t make jewellery anymore? Or Hula hoop?”

Brianna pulled a face, “I haven’t done those things for ages. I’m making cards now.”

“Cards?” Raquel asked. It was hard for Brianna to believe there was no disgust in Raquel’s tone, and she found herself quickly becoming defensive.

“Yeah, like fancy ones.”

“Can I see one?”

“Yeah,” Brianna looked away from her sister, “when I’ve made one.”

“Oh, so you’ve just started with it, then?”

Sighing heavily through her nose, Brianna started looking through the box. It was nearly impossible for her to be questioned by Raquel and not feel as if she were mocking her or trying to put her down at the best of times, and this was no different. Her probing felt unnecessary and invasive, and did she have to bring up the jewellery making and Hula hooping? It was as if Raquel needed to take every opportunity to remind Brianna of the flighty nature of her interest in her hobbies. She did not need the reminder; in fact, she was insecure enough about it already.

Raquel had always been constant in her interests. She had been playing the piano since she was five and now, she could play five instruments, sing better than anyone Brianna knew, and probably qualified as the coolest music teacher any secondary student would be lucky to have. Outside of music, Raquel had always been good at art too, and now anyone who knew her had one of her beautiful landscapes hung up somewhere in their home. Brianna herself had a stylized sunset painting in pink and purple that Raquel had made her for her eighteenth birthday. Sometimes she wanted to tear it from her wall, others she knew it was so perfect for her that she wondered what she could do to ensure its preservation.

“Brianna?” Raquel called her sister in a singsong tone when she failed to respond, walking around her to sit on her bed and give her a questioning look.

“Yes, I just started,” Brianna snapped and started rummaging more noisily through her things, half looking for the tool she needed with better focus, half hoping to drown out anything Raquel had to say next.

“Oh, okay, well, whatever you make will probably be stunning.”

Brianna stopped searching though her things and shook her head, flicking her braids over her shoulders. “You sound like mum.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

“She only says nice things to us because she gave birth to us.”

Raquel raised one of her eyebrows once again, but now she was smiling. “Okay, but I didn’t give birth to you. And when have you ever been bad at anything?”

Though it was hard for Brianna to admit, and she probably would not be thinking this way had she not just complimented her, but Raquel was a good sister. Brianna struggled to pinpoint when the majority of their conversations had ceased being screaming matches, but it was obvious that Raquel wanted the best for her siblings and she suddenly had no trouble dishing out compliments and helping them out whenever they needed it. Sometimes Brianna felt like she was stuck in the past, and all she could see was the golden child, the smug older sister refusing to let the baby borrow her things.

Trying to remember that Raquel might actual be sincere in her encouragement, Brianna resigned herself to putting the thoughts she always had when she cast aside another pass time into words. Though it was surprising, Raquel was taking a genuine interest in Brianna, and so it would only be fair to give her a genuine response. “What’s that saying again? I’m a jack of all trades, a master at none. Not like you, you’re so good at singing you could have been famous if you wanted to. What could I be famous for?”

Raquel was shaking her head as Brianna spoke, and as soon as she finished speaking, said, “Your attitude.”

The shock of what her sister said made Brianna physically recoil, and she sat back, giving Raquel a curious stare. “What do you mean?”

“You don’t let anything stop you from doing what you want. Why do you think I don’t do anything else? I’m scared of being bad at it too! Why bother try something new when I could be bad at it? I admire what you do, Bri, for real. I could never pick up so many different things and be good at them all.”

“But I’m not good, am I? I’m just ‘okay’.”

“Okay is still better than terrible,” when Brianna opened her mouth to speak, Raquel spoke louder and faster, “Just shut up and admit you’re actually skilled at anything you put your mind to and the only reason you haven’t stuck to any hobbies you try is because you want to do everything. And that’s fine,” Raquel shrugged, “You’ve only got one life.”

Raquel’s comments were so out of the blue that they silenced Brianna, leaving her with nothing to do but keep looking for the tool she needed since she could no longer look her sister in the eye. She fought the smile that threatened to reveal her true feelings. It was beyond flattering that her sister believed in her, especially when she’d recently begun to realise that she looked up to her. Brianna knew Raquel was aware of how she’d made her feel. Her smugness was almost palpable even from the other side of the room and Brianna refused to increase her satisfaction by letting Raquel know she was pleased.

After rummaging through a pencil case filled with fine brushes that Brianna recognised from her nail-art days, she found the dotting tool she needed. It was shaped like a pen, with a thick, clear plastic barrel in the centre that was decorated with swirling purple patterns. On either side of the barrel was a tapered piece of metal with a spherical shape on the end. The spheres came in different sizes, and she had chosen the smallest, thinking that would be sufficient for her purpose.

Raquel stood up and knelt beside her sister on the floor. “Is that what you were looking for then?” When Brianna nodded, still turning the tool around in her hand, Raquel asked, “What’s it for?”

Brianna explained that before, she had dipped it in nail polish and used it to make the perfect circles and dots on her nails. Now, with the help of a ruler, she could use it to make indents in card that would make it easier to fold. It always gave her some comfort when items from her previous hobbies could be repurposed.

“Huh,” Raquel said, elbowing Brianna in her side, “Versatile.”