Dreams to Reality (part 1)

CW: Language, underage drug use, mentions of suicide attempts(they are two individual sentences and are past tense, a detail, not the plot)

*Note, there are many references to the Naruto series in this. That being said, the Naruto anime/manga does not belong to me, but to Masashi Kishimoto. Please enjoy, and feel free to give advice.

I rest my head on my hand, the other twirling my pencil as I stared at the empty pages. No matter what I thought about I couldn't think of anything to put down onto the the page. Nothing. Zip. Nada. Keine idea. I slammed, however gently, the pencil onto the table with a small frustrated growl.

I'm not sure what's more difficult.. I thought to myself. This or drawing. I let out a long sigh. I look up, watching the main entrance of the cafe, automatically reaching for my coffee, sipping the almond milk mocha frappe with dark chocolate drizzle blend. Probably both. Writer's block and art block suck. I sat up straight, shifting my weight and leaning against the back of the chair. I went back to staring at the horizontal blue lines, and the one vertical red line. The three little holes.. 

"Agghhh.." I tossed my head back closing my eyes. This is so difficult- why is my mind so blank?! I look back down at the pages. "I could draw…" I say picking up the pencil once more, a small smile on my face. "But what..?" I whisper, my eyebrows scrunching up.

I groan, and just put the graphite onto the paper. I draw a shape vaguely resembling a circle. I define the circle before adding a jaw. I hum a little, making little lines marking out the nose and eyes. I form the being's neck. Their shoulders, their chest.. And then soon their torso and the beginning of their hips. Quickly I got lost in creating this person's figure, the conversations of people and those ordering their coffee blending into the background.

At first it was rather thin and sharp, but soon it grew quite curvy. And me being the queer I am, I was quite red. I chuckle and continue this marvelous woman. I drew her arms, having her have them folded. I went back to the jaw, adjusting it to make it as though she was looking down on the viewer. She looks like she's gonna stomp on my face. I thought with a small laugh, sipping on my favorite coffee combo.

I decided to go with this as I added a bit more of her features. I gave her hip dips and a little chub, and a little sharper of a jaw. Immediately I knew to go for a little more realistic eyes over my usual anime style eyes. When I finished both eyes, I knew that was the right choice. I happily sigh, adding little freckles on her cheeks, and giving her nose a more button shaped. 

I smiled, and finally added her short fluffy hair giving her tiny little bits of hair that twirled over her forehead and eyes. I let out another long happy sigh before pausing, setting my pencil down. My shoulders droop. "I have to choose an outfit." I whisper, eyes wide in horror. A c k. I grumble to myself before pulling out my phone, immediately using my generation's wonderful Google, sipping on my coffee as I did such.

I clicked on one of my most recent searches: "hot outfits", and scrolled through the endless options Google laid out for me. My eyes soon grew tired as the images blended together. After who knows how long, I turned off my phone, setting it down and replacing it with my pencil. I gave her a beanie. I stared at the drawing and when no idea came to mind, I looked at the cafe entrance, and then out the window I was sitting at.

I added a spiked choker, and then stared at the drawing. I gave her fishnet gloves going to her elbows. I paused for only a moment this time before adding a t-shirt, nice and simple. I made it a cropped tee though, as I had the sudden desire to give her a belly piercing. I also decided said piercing should have a tiny jewel attached, just for the hell of it. I nod, happy with the drawing. I look at the blank part of her. Pants, or skirt? I only drew her head to knees… So maybe pants. A few moments passed as I imagined the different kind of things she could wear for bottoms. Pants. Maybe a few rips? I blink as that idea came to mind. 

Ja! I smile. I put pencil to paper making the jeans lower, like.. If she was real, it'd be an inch maybe two bellow her belly button. I make the belt loops, the zipper flap and decide to add three buttons to it because why the fuck not, and add pockets. Because girls need pockets. I set the pencil down and look at the drawing. "Yes." I grin, finishing the pants, adding the rips and little threads. The next thirty minutes was of lining the damned thing, and then the other thirty something was of choosing the colors. I made her beanie black with some gray sparkly yarn too, and her hair was blonde, but could have been mistaken for brown. 

Her eyes, I decided to make a dark green gray combination and her skin was a strange pale color, because I have a thing for vampiresque people. The choker was black with green spikes, I decided to outline her fishnet gloves with the same green, to attract ones eyes throughout the drawing. The t-shirt was black, and I frowned, taking note that my black marker was dying. I decided to use my black pens for the pants, making the piece that much more simple, but sometimes.. Simple was best. 

I put all the markers I was using back into their little pouch, putting my eraser and pencil in there too. I zip that up and put that into my little mushroom themed tote bag. I look back at the table and look back at my coffee, my shoulders droop. It's empty.. Alread-

"That's really good.." I hear. The voice came from above me. I sat straight, looking towards the voice. A boy, near my age was sitting at the bar styled seats, staring at my drawing. I blink, feeling my cheeks flush with surprise. I look back at my drawing, and then back at the ravenette. He looked plain, average. The teenager(at least I assumed he was) simply wore black pants and a white hoodie. 

"Uh-.. Th-.. Thank you." I stutter. I mentally hit myself. He merely nods once, not seeming to mind the stutter.

"How'd you do that?" He asks. I gulp, I was not prepared for conversation today.

"Practice.. Studying references." He looks at me. I felt a pang in my heart, his eyes looked so tired. So, done with everything.

"What do you look at, usually?" I blink, feeling a little uncomfortable with the much longer conversation, but I shrugged it off.

"I look at actual people, either on Google or in real life.. Drawing books could be good too." He seemed to like the second option much more, I smile a little. I did too.

"What book would you suggest?" He asks, he looked more comfortable, I realized. 

"Uh.." I thought about it for a bit. "Christopher Hart's anime books is where I started, but it all-" He nods.

"Where could I find those?" My shoulders naturally draw in. That was a little rude..

"I found out about his books at Hobbylobby, but they're dicks.. So I'd try online- what's so funny?" 

"Nothing- I just wasn't expecting you to say dicks in public." He says with a tiny chuckle lacing his voice. I smile too.

"Honestly I didn't either." His smile faded, but it stayed in his eyes. His eyes widened and he looked at his table. I rose a brow seeing him pick up his phone. His kind expression fell seeing what I assumed was a notification. He shoves his phone into one of his various pockets. He easily slides off of the stool and stops at my table, looking at my drawing once more. 

"Keep doing that. You could make some money one day." And with that- he left.

I entered my apartment, hands in my small ass pockets. I closed the door with a "Mom- I'm home!" and headed straight for my room. As I passed my mom's room I heard her greet me. I tell her I love her before entering my room. The room was empty as my brother was out, at his girlfriend's house. I sigh, closing the door. I walked to my side of the room and set my tote bag onto the floor plopping onto my bed. I grabbed my phone from my tote bag, and laid on the bed, scrolling through my go-to social media platform.

I clicked on a few art posts, reading the writing of the person describing how they did it, and the supplies they've used. I read a few roleplay plots but none drew my interest. I groaned, annoyed. None of my friends were online righ- I blinked. One of them just came on. Otsutsuki. I smile sitting up, and clicking on our private chat.

Otsutsuki: Hey.

I blink, he usually doesn't start the conversation. My eyes narrow.

Tenshi: Hello, how are ya?

Otsutsuki: Hru?

My shoulders drop.

Tenshi: Tsu-san. What did you do?

Otsutsuki is typing… disappeared, appeared, disappeared. I felt my throat tighten.

Tenshi: You're fucking high again

Tenshi: Aren't you?

Otsutsuki is typing… appeared, and then disappeared before appearing once more.

Otsutsuki: Yes.

My hands tighten around my phone, shoulders drawing to my core.

Tenshi: Tsu-san! 

Tenshi: You promised you wouldn't.

Otsutsuki: I just want to feel something different

Otsutsuki: Is that okay Tenshi?

Even though it was just through the screen, I knew he was pissed. I sighed, scooting back and leaning against my stack of pillows.

Tenshi: I guess. 

Otsutsuki: Okay then

Otsutsuki: Hru?

Tenshi: I'm alright, went to the cafe today. It was pretty chill.

Otsutsuki: That's nice

Tenshi: It was : >

Tenshi: I drew this really hot chick and a guy complimented it.

Tenshi: It was pretty cool.

Otsutsuki is typing… appeared, disappeared and appeared once more.

Otsutsuki: Was it in Lacey???

I raise a brow. 

Tenshi: Yes-

Otsutsuki: That's where I moved to, Tenshi

Otsutsuki: I moved to Lacey

My eyes widen and hope hit me like a train.

Otsutsuki: Did you have a mushroom tote bag Tenshi?

Tenshi: I did.

Tenshi: Indeed I did Tsu-san.

Otsutsuki: Your so small XD

My mouth opens- closes, and back again, confused laughter bubbling out of my mouth.

Tenshi: I'm fifteen- what else did you expect Tsu-san?

I rest my head against the wall, a big ass smile on my face. I look back at the screen.

Otsutsuki: Idk

Otsutsuki: I for sure didn't expect you to be so small tho

Tenshi: You're years older than me- I'm gonna be smaller ya know.

Otsutsuki: I do now lol

Otsutsuki: And I'm not that much older than you Tenshi

Tenshi: Yeah yeah.

I smiled and soon a few minutes passed. It was normal, especially when he was high, to just, leave the conversation here and there. I went back to my scrolling, passing the time. In a few minutes I ended up sending Kyro a message, asking to continue the Akatsuki roleplay we've been doing, me playing my character Tenshi, however albeit the third version. The roleplays with Otsutsuki and Tyeson changed Tenshi a bit. I chuckled, remembering that's how she ended up loosing an eye. 

The past few hours were filled of Kyro playing their KakuHida love child, and me playing Uchiha Tenshi, who was the illiegitmate cousin of Sasuke and Itachi.

I blink a few times feeling my phone buzz. I look at the top of the screen, and smile. Tsu-san. I click on the notification after typing a "(Brb)" to Kyro.

Otsutsuki: Do you want to meet at the cafe again sometime?

I froze, not exactly sure how to respond. It was nice, talking to him. I curl up, suddenly unsure about things. I mentally hit myself. It's Tsu-san. Why are you afraid V? He talked you out of killing yourself. Do you really think he'd hurt you?

Otsutsuki: I know you don't like talking to people much

Otsutsuki: With the paranoia and all

Otsutsuki: It's a public place?-

I laugh. It's Tsu-san. 

Tenshi: You're right.

Tenshi: Yeah. Sure. What day would work for you? I'm heading to my dad's as usual.

Otsutsuki: We could do Sunday again

I smile. He remembers. Every Sunday, like clockwork.

Tenshi: Sunday works.

Otsutsuki: I know Tenshi-chan

Tenshi: : )

I made my way to the cafe, carrying my tote bag. It was a nice day out, the Sun was out, but it was nice and chill yet warm. A perfect Spring day in Washington. "Tenshi?" I stumble, turning around. It's so weird hearing that in real life. I thought with wide eyes.

"Tsu-san." I say looking up at him. Even with my platforms he was taller than me. He seemed to notice this too, and he placed his hand on my head. I blinked before giving him a closed eye smile.

"I didn't know you wore glasses." And for quite awhile, I thought you killed yourself. I blinked hearing that thought. "What?" He asked retracting his hand, a look of confusion in his eyes. I shake my head, smiling. 

"Nothing- it's just good seeing you. Let's go, yeah?" I ask, already walking to the cafe. 

"Fuck- you walk fast in those-" I heard him whisper. I laugh. 

"Practice, Tsu-san. Practice." I look back at him smiling, holding the door open. He nods, he should have expected such an answer. The two us walked inside and sat at the bar styled seats. I set my tote bag onto the table getting out my art supplies.

"What do you wanna get?" He asks. I follow his gaze to the menu. 

"I'm honestly probably going to get my usual." I felt him look at me.

"What's that?"

"A large mocha frappe made with almond milk, with lots of dark chocolate drizzle." He made that little huff chuckle laugh again, and I smile. I look at him. "What?"

"That was specific- that's all." He thought about something for a moment. "Sounds good too." He says. "I'll get that- without the almond milk though."

"Whip cream?" I ask with a smile. His eyes widen, flabbergasted. I laugh. 

""I mentioned that like- once." He says. 

"And I pay attention." I say hopping off of the stool. 

"Clearly." He says, I heard the smile in his voice and I felt my heart swell. I walked with him absentmindedly, and I noticed he ended up both ordering and paying. 

"Oh- thank you." I say holding the cup in my hands. 

"Mhm." The two of us sit back at our spot, and I immediately fish out my wallet. I pull back seeing a hand grab my wrist. I look up at Otsutsuki. "Let me pay Tenshi." He says quietly. I felt my throat tighten, and somehow I just knew what he was referencing. I nod, and he lets go. He briefly checks his phone when it buzzed and I watched him. I tilt my head. Just what did you think about in those two years I was gone.. Tsu-san?