Lady Lucinda's Guide to Catching a Suiter's Eye

Sometimes a lady must take matters into her own hands.

I have tried fluttering my eyelashes and fanning my bosom so as to draw his attention to my ample chest. I have tried impressing him with my skills on the piano forte. And, I have even cross-stitched the most elaborate throw pillows which I then gifted to his mother. All for Mr. Sterling to act as though he had never seen me before.

I have read the book “Lady Lucinda’s Guide to Catching a Suiter’s Eye” thirty times over -heaven forbid my mama find out-. And I have tried my hand at nearly everything Lady Lucinda recommends, even the most uncouth of recommendations. For goodness’ sake, I even pretended to faint from the heat while we out walking in the gardens. And do you know what he did? He told another woman to help me instead of doing the gentlemanly thing and helping me himself. He is absolutely infuriating. And if he wasn’t so God-damned handsome -and rich, mind you- I would be able to move on and set my eyes on another suitor.

But, then again, I have never been one to give up on something that I have set my sights on. At the tender age of thirteen, my father told me I would never be a good enough rider to sit atop his prized stallion. I proved him wrong in less than a year. At ten, my mama claimed that I was ‘tone deaf’ and I would never be able to sing as well as my sister Georgia. And though it did take years of lessons and several tutors, I now sing so well that just last season when I preformed a ballad at Lord Moor’s estate, three gentlemen offered me their hands the very next morning. Of course, to mama’s dismay, I turned each of them down. For I have planned to marry Mr. Sterling since I was but four years old. And I will not be giving up on that plan anytime soon.

Two seasons. I have waited two seasons for Mr. Sterling to notice me. And dare I say it, time is running out. Already, fewer gentlemen callers appear in our home. I have not received a marriage proposal in weeks, and I seem to hear the word ‘spinster’ being whispered when I walk around a ball room. It feels like it was not that long ago that I had heard other words whispered as I passed. Things like ‘the most eligible lady’ and ‘the diamond of the season’ had been said about me nearly as soon as I debuted. But then, the ton talks, does it not? And soon, new words were being spread: the girl with every suitor at her door, but she turns all of them down. It wasn’t long before people began to say that I had no intention to marry. I had turned down so many eligible and well-bred bachelors that the only reasonable explanation would be that I did not wish to marry at all. And already, only two seasons out, people are calling me the beautiful spinster.

I will prove them wrong.

And, on top of all of that, Papa has informed me that when this year’s season comes to an end, if I am not engaged, he will go through with an arranged marriage to the dreaded Lord Steele. A terrible scrooge of a man who has not been present in society once since my debut. Rumor has it he’s wickedly handsome, but also quite wicked in the heart. My father is 3000 pounds in debt to Lord Steele, for God knows what. I suppose giving the awful man his youngest and most amiable daughter may lighten the load of his debt, if only a fraction. 

All of this brings me back to my original thought: Sometimes, a lady must take matters into her own hands. And that is precisely why I, Gemma Montgomery, will now attempt my most scandalous attempt at marriage yet.

“Are you ready?” I turn to my sister Georgia, and she startles with such enthusiasm that the champagne she’s sipping squirts out of her nose.

After a brief fit of coughing and my sister’s ridiculously overbearing husband offering her a handkerchief, she turns back to me. “You can’t be serious?” she whispers.

“Oh, I am quite serious,” I tell her as I watch out over the dance floor. Mr. Sterling has danced with three different ladies tonight, and hasn’t glanced at me once. I’m at my wit’s end.

“I assumed that we were only speaking in jest.” Her tone sounds more urgent now. “You cannot actually think that this will work in your favor, can you?”

“Georgia, there is nothing else that I can do.” I don’t take my eyes off the dancing Mr. Sterling as I speak. “It is either this, or be doomed to an eternity as a spinster.”

Georgia snorts, as if my serious tone is ridiculous. “That is not true, Sister. There are still plenty of young gentlemen who would consider you a fine match. At the very least, there is still the dreaded Mr. Steele.”

I cut her a cold glare. “Will you help me or not?”

She rolls her eyes. “Very well. Where would you like your great scandal to take place?”

                                                  ***

On the very last page of “Lady Lucinda’s guide to Catching a Suiter’s Eye” there is a small flap. If you pull that flap, it will tear away a piece of paper that has been secured to the binding of the book. On this paper, in great detail, a scenario is given on how one might force a man to marry a woman. Lady Lucinda recommends only doing this in dire situations, for if anything goes awry, one may risk her reputation as a lady.

Ever since I happened upon this secret alternative for the most desperate of woman, I knew that it was what I must do to finally ensnare my husband. So, why then, do I feel so nervous as I wait in this dark study for Mr. Sterling?

My stomach churns as my eyes rove over the room adjusting to the darkness. I have blown out every candle in the near vicinity, and even closed the curtains so that moonlight cannot shine into the room. For my plan to go accordingly, I need absolute darkness. Mr. Sterling will arrive at any moment, and when he does-

Ice shoots down my spine when the door to the study opens. A sliver of dim light slices across the floorboards and I shrink into the shadows. In the doorway stands the tall handsome silhouette of my future husband. He pauses before the dark study, then, over squeaking floor boards he enters the room. Suddenly all my nerves dissipate as I feel my plan coming into action.

With the grace of a feline, I hop through the shadows of the study and find my way to the open door -the only source of light in the room- and quietly close it. The door clicks into place and the room descends into darkness again.

 “Hello?” Mr. sterling asks into the darkness. I watch his shadowy figure fumble through the study his hands out blindly in front of him, his knees running into a chair. I wonder idly if he thinks I am a ghost.

I tiptoe across the room and come to stand in front of his figure. “Who is there?” he asks and this time I think he can feel my presence before him.

I shush him and reach for his face. He’s taller than I imagined he would be. In my mind, he was only ever a few inches taller than me. But in reality, he’s nearly a whole head taller than me. My fingers meet with the soft prickles of scruff on his cheeks. And distantly I think that I’ve never seen him without a clean-shaven face before. His posture goes rigid at my touch, then slowly, gently, I draw him down to me. He only hesitates a moment before giving into my Siren’s call.

His lips are exactly as I had always envisioned them: soft, luscious, warm. They meet my mouth with a tenderness I didn’t know possible. Then, as I wrap my hands around his neck, he deepens then kiss. His mouth taking mine in fully. The heat of the kiss travels down the extent of my body and his hands find my hips to pull me to him. A squeak of surprise escapes the back of my throat and he makes a throaty hum in response. And oh God, it’s so good. I didn’t know kissing could be this good. It’s so good that when I hear the door to the study creak open again, I don’t break the kiss. No, instead, as I hear gasps and whispers coming from the small crowd in the doorway, I revel in my victory. This beautiful man with perfect lips is mine.

Now, he has no choice but to marry me. Father will make sure he dies if he does not offer me his hand. Now that Georgia has brought every important mama of the ton to see what Mr. Sterling and I were doing together in a dark room, there will be absolutely no turning back. I have ensnared my husband. I have gotten what I wanted, yet again.

Now, time for the second part of the act, where I pretend to be caught. I reluctantly break the kiss. Then, opening my eyes I look to the doorway full of gawking mamas. Georgia is standing among them, her jaw unhinged, total astonishment written across her face. And beside her, with wide eyes stands Mr. Sterling.

Wait… Mr. Sterling? He’s in the doorway beside Georgia. But if he’s there, then who did I…

My head whips around to the man whose lips I had just been indulging in. Black wind-swept hair, and slate gray eyes over swollen pink lips. I stagger backwards clutching my chest and breathing heavily. “How dare you!?” I yell at the man. I look back to the mamas and point an accusatory finger. “He took advantage of me! I did not- I thought-” My stuttering words come to a halt as I realize what I’m saying. I thought he was Mr. Sterling. How could I explain that?

“No.” I shake my head. No, no, no. I’ve ruined myself. My reputation could be lost forever. No Gentleman will have me now, especially the well-bred Mr. Sterling. Now my only option is… I look back to the man who is staring at me with a devious grin. And I know without a doubt who this treacherously beautiful man is.

Lord Steele.