Ah, the Paradox of Choice

‘Ah, silence! Finally!’ she thought as she flipped through the pages of a Charles Dickens’ novel she had randomly picked up from the fiction section.

It was late! Probably around two in the morning, and yet she wasn’t sleepy at all. She read for a while, disinterestedly, before going back to pick up another book. Then another! And then another again! Putting her nose to the book, she sniffed the first page. ‘Fresh as an oak!’ she thought; the strong scent momentarily transporting her to a different world altogether. A déjà vu perhaps!

A few tables down the row a florescent tube light flickered; the buzzing sound prompting her back to the present. ‘Why was she even in the library at this odd hour?!’ she wondered. Ah, the silence!

She explored some more sections – finding nothing even remotely interesting – before returning to the fiction section. She randomly picked up two more books, and attempted to read them side-by-side. After a while she got bored again! ‘No wonder she had been such a poor student’ she contemplated.

She was born as the third child in a middleclass family of eleven, and lived in a two room house with them. Since the time immemorial, all she had heard was ‘noise’! Utterly disgusting constant noise! Parents arguing, doors banging, music blasting from the house next door, an old TV spewing news nonstop, her siblings laughing, strangers talking... to her and about her! There had been no respite!

She had fared poorly in the school. So after turning 16, she had found a low-paying job in the ticketing department at the Railway Station; the wage barely enough to cover her daily lunches. Household ‘noises’ had been replaced by the whistling engines, clickety-clacky carriages and crowded platforms. Indeed, there had been no respite! It wasn’t long before she had forgotten all about quietness. Even when she tried to sleep at night, there was always a constant humming sound... that is, on nights when the strangers didn’t show up! And those nights were the most peaceful ones!

Leaning forward onto the table, she rested her head on top of the open book. The utter quietness made her fall asleep instantly!

“Wake up! Wake up!” someone whispered in her ear.

She felt disoriented at first, not knowing where she was. Only after looking at the open book, all drenched in her drool, did she realize that she was at the library. Feeling groggy she looked up to find an old man, probably in his eighties, with a pointed nose and strangely rounded, gold-rimmed glasses looking at her. She was terrified!

“Who... who are you?” she inquired.

“I am the librarian!” he grinned. “You are in the library and you wish to spend your time sleeping instead of benefiting from all the knowledge around you?!” he continued disappointedly.

She was speechless, and didn’t know how to respond.

“What time is it?” she ventured, trying to fill the awkward silence.

“Does it really matter what time is it?” the old man responded with a solemn face.

Once again, she was left speechless. “What do you want from me?” she asked directly.

“Oh! I don’t want anything from you!” he replied. “But look at all these books... they seem offended that you are sleeping your ass off in a library instead of taking this opportunity to learn about new things!” he continued.

For a moment, she felt all books staring at her with angry little faces. She shivered!

“But there are so many of them! I don’t know which one to read!” she responded, trying to justify her behavior.

“Ah, the paradox of choice!” the old man smiled.

“Err, the what... of what?!” she was totally lost.

“The paradox of choice means that when you have a lot of options to choose from, you end up overcomplicating the process and unnecessarily delaying it” he explained excitedly. “Instead of encouraging you to take action, these many choices push you towards complete inaction” he continued. His eyes sparkling behind the gold rimmed glasses.

She was baffled, but at the same time curious to know more! “So, you are saying having so many books around can make someone read fewer books?” she asked while scratching her head.

“Indeed, it can!” he responded.

“Then, what is the purpose of building a library?” she inquired innocently.

“Ah, that is a smart question!” the old man sighed. Although he kept a straight face, she could tell he was quite happy inwardly with her question! “Perhaps the purpose of building a library is to allow curious souls to satisfy their lust for knowledge about specific topics” he attempted, trying to provide a convincing answer. “Anyone could walk in through that door knowing they could read all about... let’s say... ‘Trains’ in here!” he continued.

“But what if someone wants to know about everything?” she asked curiously.

“Then, they can spend their whole life visiting libraries around the world and getting their hands on as many books as possible” the old man responded with a smile. She was satisfied with the answer!

‘I want to learn about everything in the world’ she affirmed to herself.

As if magically reading her thoughts, the old man said, “You can start from here, and read about as many things as you want”.

***

It was around midday when a stern looking woman with grey hair woke her up from a deep slumber. She had pale cheeks and her hair was tied into a high bun

“Get up, young lady!” the old woman barked loudly. “This isn’t a place for you to sleep at” she continued.

“But who... who are you?” she asked reluctantly.

“I am Ms. Shakila, the librarian here, and responsible for keeping the books safe” the old lady responded with a sneer while pointing to the messy pile of open books around them.

‘If she is the librarian, who was that old man last night’ she thought as she slowly rose up and walked towards the door. She had no recollection of what had happened after the old man had asked her to start from here. ‘Maybe he was one of the strangers!’ a chill went down her spine at the thought.

She found her mother waiting at the library door, pacing worriedly. She was relieved upon seeing her daughter fine and safe.

Turning around, she asked the librarian “How can I read books at the library, Ms Shakila?”

“For that, you must purchase a subscription” the librarian replied nonchalantly.

“Mom, I want a subscription for the library” she said turning back to her mother.

“Sweetheart, let’s get back home and discuss it with your father” her mother replied while smiling sadly. Seeing a confused look on her daughter’s face, she explained “library subscription requires money you see!”

“Surely, we can’t be that poor to not be able to afford a library subscription fee” she responded curtly.

Her mother smiled as her face turned red in front of the librarian.

“Not at all, sweetheart! Just that one cannot fund everything. You eldest sister wants to go to college, your brother wants to join the football academy, you want a library subscription, not to mention all the medical bills, and what the younger ones want!” the mother responded sadly, hoping that her daughter would understand and stop pestering her in front of the librarian.

“So, which one is it going to be?” the girl asked plainly. “The sister going to college, the brother joining the academy, my medical bills or the library subscription, or what the younger ones want?” she continued.

“Of course one cannot decide just like that with so many options!” her mother snapped, irritated at her daughter’s questions.

“Ah, the paradox of choice” she smiled as her eyes sparkled.

“The ‘what’...?” the librarian who had been standing quietly till now asked curiously.  

“Please forgive her, Ms Shakila” the mother responded feeling embarrassed. “My daughter has recently been diagnosed with Schizophrenia, and has little control over forming coherent thoughts and sentences” she whispered.

The mother daughter duo walked out of the library, one feeling sad and defeated, meanwhile the other one feeling happy and triumphant. Of the two, who felt how, no one could tell!