Operation M. U. T. E.

Submitted into Contest #283 in response to: Write a story that ends with a huge twist.... view prompt

2 comments

Thriller Teens & Young Adult

I left the house and met up with my best friend Megan. We always walk to school together, but today just felt… different. 

        “Ellie!” Megan yelled as she ran down the street.

        “Hey, Megan” They hugged and then started walking 

        “Does today feel weird to you in any way?” I asked Megan

“No… does anything seem off to you

“I have no idea. There just something up like-” I stopped abruptly when we reached the school gates

“Why are there so many guards, is that really necessary?” I said

“I don't know but just ignore them, it's probably some new security measure.”

“I guess,” I say as we walk to our lockers.

“Ellie, can you help me with my locker? I can’t get it open,” she says while handing me her lock.

“Sure,” I take a bobby pin from my hair and put it into the back of the lock, twisting until it clicks open.

“Omg you’re a lifesaver, I don't know what I would do without you! I have to go to class but I'll see you at lunch,” she says while sprinting to her first class.

I walked into my first-period classroom and sat down next to Maddie. I smiled and said, “Did you see all of those guards outside of school earlier?”

“Omg, I did, do you know why they're here?”

“No, but it's kind of freaking me out.”

“I'm sure it's nothing. Also, do you know where our teacher is?”

“No but I don’t think I’ve seen any of the teach-” she stopped abruptly when a voice came

over the loudspeaker and said

“Will all students please silently report to the gymnasium immediately. If you don't follow

these simple directions we will find out who you are, and you will be dealt with.” 

When I stepped out of the classroom the hallways were crowded with students all

walking towards the gym with a look of confusion written on their faces. Everything was silent. It was weird because just this morning the school had been full of noise. When we were all seated in the gym, an unfamiliar woman in a black suit was standing on the state and started telling us what was happening

“I assume that you are all confused about what is going on, and I'm here to tell you. There

has been an outbreak of a government secret that was not supposed to get out. And to try to help stop the spread of this secret, we have decided to ban all forms of communication for a little while. This includes no electronic devices of any kind, no pencils or paper, and no in-person school. In addition to this, there will be a guard stationed at everyone’s house and with each family all the time. I hope you all understand how serious this situation is. Thank you for your time, all of your parents have been called and should be here soon.” she walked swiftly off the stage without even a glance back at us. I’m sure it can’t be that serious…

        It’s been three months since the government implemented the no-talking rule, and it's been a little interesting, to say the least. They were not lying when they said there would be someone listening in to us at any time, they were not lying. As soon as we got home from school there was this big burly guy standing outside of our house and he had set up cameras all around our house too. We aren’t allowed to go to school and we have to do everything online, and it sucks. People have been disappearing much faster than they used to when this thing first started. If anyone ever catches you whispering they call the government immediately. There is also no TV allowed because it could muffle noise. There are no electronic devices except phones that they have applied a program to so we can only play music.. The only thing we are allowed to have is laptops issued by the school, so all we can do on them is our work. 

        But other than all the restrictions, life has been much…quieter. I slid on my running shoes, grabbed my phone, put one of her AirPods in, and pressed play on my playlist. This is the only good thing that has come out of the government-issued silence. These runs that I go on are a break from the world and a break from this silence. I run on my normal path up to the top of the cul-de-sac that overlooks the canyon. It was a few minutes to sunset, so I found a spot to set up. The sunsets are absolutely beautiful up here. Can’t Catch Me Now by Olivia Rodrigo started playing through my headphones, and the sun started setting just as the bridge of the song started playing. I sat up there for around 30 minutes, taking in the beauty of the sunset, before deciding to head back home. I was jogging down the hill when I heard faint voices in the distance, so I crept closer to the voices. All of a sudden there was a scream and then more yelling. But instead of the voices getting farther away, the voices were getting closer. She quickly pretended like she couldn’t hear them and continued walking. All of a sudden, he comes running up to her and whispers something in her ear. Before she could process what was going on, she felt a sting in the back of her head and everything went black. 

        When I wake up I'm surrounded by bars. I scramble to my feet only to be met with a thumping pain from my head, causing me to fall back down. 

        “Don’t even try to.” says a voice from her left.

        “We, we can talk in here?” I whisper-yell back

        “No, but rules don’t matter when you're about to die.”

        “What!” I say almost yelling “I’m here to die?” 

        “Ya? Why else would you be here, you broke the law.”

        “But, I didn’t. I was just taking my regular walk to see the sunset when, all of a sudden some guy ran up to me and whispered someth-. Wait, you're the guy who came up to me. You’re the reason in here in the first place.” I whisper growling at him

        “What can I say I didn’t want to be taken down alone,” he said with a smirk on his face, ugh I can’t stand him, I was about to start talking when he shushed me and pointed behind me. I turn my head to see two guards that have just been stationed at the door. I turn back to look at him but he’s already doing something else. I climb back to my bed and lay down, how could this have even happened? I was so careful never to talk and made sure I always followed the rules, this isn’t fair. I lay on my bed staring up at the ceiling for hours until all the lights in the building turned off. I heard the guards make their way from the room, and then there was a voice whispering from the distance. I sit up and see him sitting looking at me. 

        “What do you want,” I ask him, annoyed

        “Nothing, I just can’t sleep.” 

        “Same,” I jump off my bed and position myself so I’m sitting across from him.

        “How did you even get here in the first place, why were those guards chasing you?” We talked for a few hours until we were both too tired to continue talking and said goodnight. I guess it’s nice to know someone in a place like this.

When I wake up I look over to see if he’s awake yet, but he’s nowhere in sight. Where could he have gone? I thought to myself I thought we weren’t allowed to leave our cells. There’s only one way to find out. I have to get out of this cell. I look around to make sure none of the guards are looking before I pull the bobby pin that’s holding up my bun. I go over to the lock, pull the bobby pin apart, and then jam it into the lock. I look up again to make sure no one is watching and continue picking the lock. Could this go any slower I thought. Just before I finished unlocking the door a guard started running right up to my cell with a gun. I turned the pin in the lock just as he raised his gun

        Click.

December 27, 2024 21:39

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2 comments

Al Griffin
23:03 Jan 08, 2025

I like where you were going with this. Good tension growing to the final crescendo. There seems to be a point of view problem where you switch from first person to narrator mid sentence at one point. An editing slip I think. Overall good story if modern horrors with a jolt at the end leaving reader wondering the fate of our hero.

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Mary Butler
12:42 Jan 05, 2025

Isabella, this story left me utterly captivated, especially with moments like, "When we were all seated in the gym, an unfamiliar woman in a black suit was standing on the stage and started telling us what was happening." The tension here is palpable, and it beautifully sets the tone for the gripping mystery that follows. Your ability to build suspense, from the eerily silent hallways to the final heart-pounding moment of the lock clicking open, kept me on the edge of my seat. You’ve crafted an engaging narrative with a protagonist whose re...

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