Trains, Trees and an Old Man

“Excuse me, sir. This is my stop.”

‘Excuse me’ was merely a courtesy on these trains. What people really meant was ‘I will do anything it takes to get to that door, even at your expense.’

“Sorry about that.” He pushed his way through the crowd of commuters and tourists to the door, before disappearing into the awaiting masses in the corridor beyond.

Near the back of the car I was riding in was an elderly man watching the passengers wrestle for position. I had seen him before, never paying him much attention, but today was a leisure day for me. Today, I was a tourist.

I slowly made my way towards him as people fled off of and onto the overcrowded train car, fighting against the tidal wave of people. As I drew closer, I could see that the man was smiling. I questioned how someone, even without a place to be, could possibly find joy in this contraption designed to thrive off of human emotions until there were none left.

I paused to see what he could possibly be looking at, searching the masses for something, anything at all. Nothing. Maybe he was remembering something exciting from his younger days. That only opened more doors. I searched the crowd one more time, still not seeing whatever it was.

Turning back towards the old man, I saw a much younger woman sitting in his spot. I turned towards the door and caught a glimpse of his jacket just before the doors shut. I cursed myself for not paying attention to all of the people shifting, signifying the arrival at a station. Determined to get an answer, I began getting into position to storm the door at the next stop.

When the doors opened, it felt like the floodgates of heaven had opened up once more to pour forth humans as the awaiting masses pushed back, as if trying to get back into heaven. The only major difference was my direct involvement in that flood and matching surge.

The sights and scents of spring met me in a light breeze as I exited the train station. It’s probably a safe assumption that the old man would have headed to Maruyama Park to see the cherry blossoms, so I start heading in that direction.

All along the way, I could see the signs of spring arriving. From the joy on students' faces as they talked about upcoming festivals and summer plans, to the casual conversation of people going about their days, everything felt light hearted and full of life. I begin to wonder how much of my life I have wasted by traveling on that steel snake, how much joy I have missed.

Up here, where the trees grow along the roads, where people smile and are courteous to one another, has it always been this way? When was the last time someone held the door for me like that lady was doing for someone she most likely didn’t know and would probably never see again?

I remind myself that this is all wishful thinking, that we could never make this into a reality on the train. There are simply too many people to not be crowded. But that old man, he seemed to know the secret to finding joy in such a terrible place. 

The sunlight mixing with the slight breeze was refreshing against my skin. It felt renewing and life giving compared to the recycled air on the trains. The feeling reminded me of when I was a child. My mother and father used to bring me to Maruyama park every April to see the cherry blossoms. We would stop along the way to the park and get Kakigori. The shaved ice with all of the extra toppings used to be my favorite thing growing up. I debated stopping when I saw a shop advertising some before remembering why I was here in the first place. I picked up my pace and hurried, hoping against hope that I would meet the man at the park.

It was only about a thirty minute walk to the park from where I stood. Even if the old man wasn’t there, I could still make the most of the day. This wasn’t the day I had in mind, but it was still turning out to be a good day.

I had ample time to think of things I had pushed aside for the past few years. When was the last time I had called my mother and father? I think it was on their birthdays’ last year. Maybe I should call them later, they would probably appreciate that. What about my sister? I hadn’t talked to her in years, or at least it felt like years. She should be graduating this year and getting her degree. What was she even studying for again?

Thoughts continued to flood my mind as I walked. It was surprisingly relieving to think about things that should have been priorities that had been pushed away due to work and other obligations. I wonder, why is it always the ones closest to us that are the first to be pushed away? Or maybe it’s not that they are the first to be pushed away, but we simply know that they will be the most understanding. Maybe that is why they are the first to be shorted time, when instead they should be the ones we give more time to.

Once I arrived at the park, I wandered along the path looking for the old man. I saw families out enjoying the beautiful day, laughing and playing games. Children running around and being free to have fun with friends and family, something that I had cut out of my life to make more time for work. Why had I done that? The promotion I hoped for was never going to happen, and yet here I was continuing to make unnecessary sacrifices.

One child was flying a kite with her father’s help while her mother held a small infant and smiled as she watched them running around together, laughing and enjoying the sun. It reminded me of the time that my father and I had made a kite and came to this park to see how well it would fly. My sister had been born about a month before, and my mother was doing the exact same thing as that woman. The thought made me smile at the family as I passed them by and crossed over a stone bridge.

As I continued to walk along the path, I saw a young couple walking along and talking. This brought to mind a picture of my old girlfriend, Irina. We used to walk home through this park every day after school, even though it was out of the way. Inside I felt sad at the thought of losing her, and thought about trying to get back in contact with her. We had split up after she moved to Tokyo with her family during the last year of high school. It was only about three hours away. We could have written letters, maybe even visited each other. Maybe I could try to get in contact with her. After all, I do know where her brother works.

Walking and reminiscing about all of the good times I had at this park with my friends and family, I finally saw the man I was looking for. He was seated on the grass, leaning against a cherry tree. As I made my way towards him, he waved at me. Did he recognize me from the train, or was there someone behind me? I waved back, returning the gesture even if it wasn’t meant for me.

Once I was close enough to speak with him, I heard him say “beautiful, aren’t they?” He nodded his head back in the direction I had just come from.

I turned back to see what he was referring to. “The cherry blossoms?” I asked.

“If that is what you see, then yes,” he replied.

If that is what I see… I thought. What did he mean? I held my hand up to block the sun and try to get a better look at what he was seeing. “They are beautiful this year. I haven’t been here since I was in school.”

The old man chuckled, “this must be quite the time for you then.” I nod in response. “What brings you to this park today then? Meeting someone, perhaps?” He smiled as he said it. 

I smile back at him. “Something like that, yes. I have a question for you, if I may ask it.”

“Ask, and I shall answer to the best of my abilities.” He seemed a genuinely happy man.

“Sir, how are you able to smile and be so happy? Especially on the train? What gives you joy?”

“The secret to happiness is not so difficult. If you open your eyes, you would see that it is everywhere around us.” He smiled  as he turned his head to look back out at the families picnicking in the surrounding area.

I pondered this a moment, thinking to myself that my eyes were open and that I could see. Before I could ask him to clarify, he spoke again.

“Tell me, when you walked through the park, did you not think about all of the times you spent here, both good and sad?”

“Yes. How did you know that?” I turned back to face him.

He smiled and nodded, “you thought about the small things that at the time they happened, meant little to you. Is this true?”

I was speechless for a moment as I thought about it. All the things that came to mind while I had walked through here had seemed small when I first experienced them. Small or common place with my usual days at the time. “This is true. Do you see the same things?”

The elderly man chuckled. “Of course. I see my family playing here, I remember the smiles of my children when I would run around with them and chase them. Now they are all grown and gone, they call every now and then, but it is not the same.” The smile in his voice faded for a moment as he paused to think. “But when I see them it reminds me of the happy times we all shared together while they were growing up.” He smiled and sounded happy once more.

I turned to face the families playing beneath the cherry blossoms again. I could see what he meant now. It was the small things in life that made it worth living. The little moments of joy that made people smile. “Thank you, for opening my eyes sir. Thank you for reminding me of what really matters.”

The man smiled and turned back to face me, “I am not the one to be thanking. I am simply a man like yourself. You found your own joy, I did not make it for you.”

Inside, I knew he was the reason I could see my own happiness. “Well, thank you. What is your name, sir?”

“My name is not your concern,” he smiled again. “Go, and speak with the people who are important to you.”

I was caught off guard. There was nothing I could do but smile and walk away, thinking about what he had said. The people who are important to me? My mother, father and sister were all important to me. I should call them and see how they are. Maybe I could find my old friends and see what they were doing now. Maybe… maybe I could speak to Irina and be friends with her again.

Three years later, I walked through that same park with my wife and our first child in her arms. As we walked by the spot where that old man changed my life, I smiled. We walked up the hill to where that tree was and sat down. I looked out over the beautiful cherry trees, with their blossoms slowly drifting to the ground and the children and families playing and eating beneath them. I knew that this was an important moment in life. It was one of the little moments that I would remember as I grew older.

Down the path we had just traveled, I saw my mother and father walking towards us. My wife and I waved to them.

I took what the old man had shown me that day to heart, the little moments are what make life worth living. In this moment, with these people, in this beautiful park where the cherry blossoms bloom every spring, I didn’t need anyone to tell me how perfect this moment was.