The Bright Red Envelope

The letter was unexpected. It sat at the bottom of the enormous pile of mail you stood sifting through.The bright red envelope was hard to miss.You turned it over in your hands and read the return address. You froze in place. You clearly didn't expect this today.Then you remove it along with the rest of the contents from your mailbox. The return trip up the driveway all that you could think of was why it had arrived and what did it say.

After setting the pile on top of the granite counter in your kitchen, you retrieve the red envelope and brought it along with your coffee cup to a comfortable gray armchair in your den.

Once you're settled into the cushion you remove the letter from the envelope and lean back against the cushion. It wasn't exactly what you had expected. It was written in the most exquisite handwriting you had ever seen. Most of the letter explained details about your family and that alone had peeked your interest.

Dear Rachel,

It has been quite some time since Ive seen you. Honestly it was many many years ago that we were even in the same room together. I wanted to express my deepest sympathies on the loss of your father. He was a good man. I know that he took good care of my sister and was always there for you and your brother. Your grandmother Jean is doing remarkably well. She is mainly responsible for me finally sitting down and writing to you. She has always put family first. She worked hard her entire life but always made time for her children. You must know that can be really difficult at times.Out of all her children I think I gave her the most grief. I went through a very rebellious streak during my teen years but your grandmother never held that against me. This isn't an easy letter to write. There were times when I thought I would never get up the nerve. I'm sure you're wondering what it is Im trying to tell you. Well Rachel, I'm your mother. I was only sixteen when I got pregnant and your father left for the army. Your parents were married and they always wanted a baby.

It didn't seem wrong at the time. We all believed that we were giving you a better life. Don't hate us. They gave you all the things that I never could and for that I'll always be grateful.I want you to know that you crossed my mind every day. When I moved to London it was only so they could raise you without my interference. The distance I thought would make it easier but nothing could have been further from the truth. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I would really love for you to come and see me. I know that you must need time. But time is one thing I don't have left. I have seen a few doctors and they all agree on my diagnosis. They say if I am very lucky I will see another year.

Please consider coming to London for a visit that I will gladly pay for. I just want the chance to know you again and not as your Aunt Carol but as your mother. I hope that you will except my offer.

Love Always

Carol Jacobson

You fold the letter back up and return it to the bright red envelope that you stare at on your lap. How can this be real? You say to yourself. Your in shock. All the people you believed in keep this from you. You feel like such a fool. Do you call your mom and demand that she confirm this bizarre story? No what good would that do? You need time to digest this news. But the fact that your Aunt is terminally ill leaves you with no real options.

You give yourself time to process the news. Several days pass you stay indoors. You refuse to get dressed you don't see the need. You have not returned any of your moms phone calls. Your not ready yet.

Nothing seems real. The man who taught you to ride your bike and the woman who read to you at night are in reality your Aunt and Uncle. You hate how you feel. You have a real bitterness inside you now. Do you allow this to go on? You must confront them if you are ever to move forward.Finally after far too many sleepless nights you invite your mom to lunch.

The Majestic Inn is a quint restaurant that you and your mother have dined at many times. You arrive to find her seated in a corner booth. She is dressed in a lavender pantsuit and as you approach the table she smiles at you. You fold your arms in front of your chest and pray her smile will fade away.

"Rachel you look lovely. Come sit down and join me."

"Are you my mother?" You manage to blurt out.

She looks stunned. You wait through the silence before you say.

"I think we both know the answer to my question."

You watch the tears fill up her eyes. She motions for you to join her but all you need is the truth. You fling your purse on the table and retrieve the red envelope, which you hurl at her.

Once she has read it you request it back put it away and haul ass out of the restaurant before she can explain. Ten days later you are en route to see Carol. Your not angry anymore. That has faded away. Now all you feel is loss. You wish you had more time. But that too has passed. You respect her decision now. You love that she had the courage to tell you the truth. You glance next to you at the empty airline seat. Everything changed that morning at your mailbox. Those words that letter forever set the course of your life. How could one object have that much power? Well this one did. This remarkable unforgettable letter inside a bright red envelope.