Rejuvenation

The sea of faces looked no different to any other morning. Pulling the hem of my dress from under the rather large bottom that just sat on it was quite a feat. Mmmmfff escaped from my mouth as I gave it one final tug hoping it wouldn’t tear, but it wouldn’t come out. “Excuse me” I said to the big face next to me “You’re on my skirt, do you think……”

“What” he rudely answered spitting out tiny particles of what I assumed had been his breakfast.

“My dress, you’re on it” I told him

“Oh right” and he lifted his large grey frame while I tugged it out.

Last week the old man sitting next to me opened his briefcase and as he shut it took the sleeve of my cardigan that had been lying across my lap and shut it in the case. He stood up to get off at his stop with me hanging onto my expensive pure wool top. He had stretched the sleeve from a size ten to a fourteen before he realised, mumbled an embarrassed ‘sorry’, took out the cardie and walked off. That was all very well to apologise but now I have to roll the left hand sleeve up twice for it to fit!

I supposed I should be grateful that the big man sitting next to me doesn’t smell. Yesterday on the way to work a walking armpit plonked himself down right next to me – it was the beginning of the journey and there were a few other seats still available but of course he chose the one next to me. It was all I could do to not say something because the entire journey I sat with a tissue pressed against my mouth and nose and could hardly breathe. I noticed a lady in the seat behind when I turned around for a sneaky breath without the tissue, doing the same thing. Our eyes met and for a fleeting second it was a mutual “Oh my goodness – he stinks’.

Glum faces, bored faces, tired faces but not many happy faces. A young girl was talking on her phone – I watched as she sat disinterested at what the person on the other end was saying. Her pierced eyebrows went up a few times and I could imagine her mother on the other end telling her off for something. She seemed to press the button on her phone mid-sentence, folded her arms and turned to stare out of the window.

“Oh no, don’t sit opposite me” I said to myself as the middle aged man with the middle aged spread made his way down the aisle of the train…I quickly turned to look out of the window at the grey old buildings that we were passing. It must looked obvious that I didn’t want to chat to him again, but it worked. He walked right past me looking for a different victim today.

A noise like that of a growling animal suddenly sounded from my stomach and I rubbed in, hoping it would stop, but it didn’t. The animal had turned into an overloaded washing machine, gurgling and rumbling under its heavy load. Moving into a different position, I continued to rub my stomach but it didn’t abate. I regretted sleeping in an extra ten minutes this morning – I should have used that precious time to slap some butter and jam onto a piece of toast. Inevitably most mornings I would end up eating it running to quickly hop on the train before it left the station or sitting amid the deadpan faces, sometimes not the only one trying to eat toast and jam without getting it everywhere. I rummaged in my bag and found a mint, so old that the paper was discoloured and as I put the sweet into my mouth I could feel some grains of sand that were obviously from the bottom of my bag.

To take my mind off my hunger I took the latest meeting minutes out of my work bag to browse. I should have done it at the weekend anyway. I actually couldn’t be bothered and felt somewhat annoyed – probably because a young child had started crying a few seats away from me and the high pitched sound was grating on my nerves. I could hear the mother trying to pacify the child but wasn’t having much success. Glancing around I noticed that all the heads with earphones on obviously couldn’t hear it but the ones without were turning around and looking, their faces saying “shut up, it’s Monday and we’re on the way to work so don’t make it worse’.

The train was filling up now. A bicycle had been brought aboard by a dreadlocked young lad. He was trying unsuccessfully to turn it lengthways to make more room but as he gave it a last shove, caught the ankle of a businessman who yelled “Hey moron. Watch what you’re doing. Bikes on bloody trains!”.

“Sorry mate” came the reply from dreadlocks but he was ignored by Mr Suit who noticed a vacant seat nearby so rushed to sit down and opened the ‘business review’.

I reached up to open the window a little. ‘Someone had garlic for dinner’ I thought trying to push the metal handle which wouldn’t budge. Big man next to me could see me struggling but couldn’t care less. He didn’t budge. When I sat down again, window still shut and garlic still wafting, I made sure my dress wasn’t in any danger of being sat on.

I tried to think of the reasons why I had decided to live where I did. It was a long way from where I worked and I made this tedious journey there and back five times a week. I mentally calculated how many times I caught this train. ‘Take off four weeks holidays a year still leaves forty eight weeks, take off another two for Christmas, Easter and any other public holidays and that still leaves forty six weeks. Forty six times five is…….two hundred and thirty, and that is only one way’. I sat back and thought about all those train trips over one year. I must have been calculating out aloud as big guy next to me was watching me with a look on his face that said “I know she isn’t on a phone, so who is she talking to?”.

Then she remembered the reason why….’Oh yes’ she thought ‘ I wanted to be away from the rat race of the city and have a little bit of peace and quiet. Well I didn’t think that one through very well’ and she perused the train, getting fuller and noisier as they stopped at the many stations along the way.

I was starting to get a headache and realised that I had forgotten to bring my water bottle with me – I thought ‘for the third time this week! And by the time I get into the office it’s not only water I’m having but headache tablets too – so I dug around inside the bottom of my bag to find another ‘crunchy’ mint!

The big frame of a man was getting off at the next stop. I breathed a sigh of relief at the thought of not being quite so squished in my seat and was very relieved when a thinner man sat on the, what must have been warm seat. I had an aversion to sitting on a warm seat straight after someone had vacated it! I stared out of the window at the passing buildings and groups of people picked up when the train stopped at a platform. I was starting to realise just how tired I felt when he thin man next to me reached into his jacket pocket, took out a folded handkerchief and blew! It was one of those exaggeratedly noisy blows which seemed to go on for ever. That’s another thing I can’t stand….not just someone blowing their nose right next to me, but into a handkerchief – which I assume someone has to wash! Revolting was all I could think. I tried to put the noise and the thought out of my head but when he started sneezing I knew it was going to be a long nose blowing journey. ‘Well don’t be spreading your cold over to me’ I though, with probably a look of disgust on my face.

Today I felt irritated, annoyed and agitated for whatever reason I don’t know. Everything about the train journey into work was flustering me and giving me a slightly anxious stomach. I felt like going up to the mother of the crying baby and telling her to either buy a dummy or …..I don’t know what but just shut the noise up! I was feeling suffocated with the smell of someone’s garlic chicken from dinner last night and the nose blower was lucky I hadn’t punched him!! The voices in the carriage were so loud today and my head was thumping…crying babies, noses being blown, high pitched voices from young giggling schoolgirls, deaf elderly people who think because they can’t hear, no one else can – well we can! AAhhhhh! I felt like screaming!

Suddenly a screeching noise echoed throughout the carriage, a few slight jolts and then a gradual stop. We weren’t at a usual platform. This was one of the places that we usually went straight past. It was one of the interchange stations where you can get on to another train to take you into the country. People were craning their necks to get a look outside of the train to see what was going on. I had a quick Squizzy and then actually couldn’t be bothered. I knew we would find out in time.

Some worried people were now standing up and trying to open the doors but they wouldn’t budge. Then over the loudspeaker a loud voice boomed. “Unfortunately we have had to stop the train at the nearest station as we were experiencing technical difficulties”…’Oh yes’ I thought ‘the old technical difficulties, always a good back up for when no one knows what’s really wrong’. I settled back down into my seat. I was so thirsty and hungry I felt that if the difficulties took too long fix then I wouldn’t last!

The loud voice continued “We have arranged for another train to take you on to your final destination”. ‘I wonder if he means Heaven or Hell?’ someone joked and drew a few giggles.

The loud speaker crackled and made a few noises and then the voice had gone.

“Oh well” said the skinny nose blower next to me “Late for work again”!

I shouldn’t have, but I just ignored him. I didn’t feel like going into work at all today.

The doors suddenly opened and we all traipsed out. I could never understand how people thought it was helpful to try and push through a crowd in order to get out at the front. It seemed to clog up the opening much quicker than when everyone just filed out in a dignified manner. Anyway I must have been one of the few people with that view because we were all getting shoved through the doors.

Eventually we were all out and milling around on the concrete. After quickly walking over to the kiosk I bought myself a bottle of water and, of all things, a sausage roll – it felt like lunchtime to me - and propped myself up against a post to wait. This was actually a large interchange station and as I took my final mouthful of sausage and grease rolled into thick pastry I wandered over to read some of the signs telling where the trains could go to from here. It was a busy place. We had all only been waiting for about ten minutes and three trains had already stopped and left again. Over the PA system I heard a female voice, sharp and clipped, telling passengers that the train to Little Fairtown on Sea would be pulling into the station in approximately six minutes. I’d never been there, and I wondered if it was as lovely as everyone said it was. I remembered that one of the secretaries at work had gone there at Easter time. When I told her I had never been to Little Fairtown on Sea, she replied that she could hardly believe that as she thought EVERYONE had been there! Well not me!

There was no more mention of what was happening for us stranded travellers. We seemed to have been forgotten.

The crying child had fallen asleep on one of the benches laying across his mother’s knee, but that didn’t last long enough by far, and the noise once again started, this time more of a whine than a cry which I thought was worse.

I had been in touch with work and let them know I would be late – Miriam who I worked alongside was obviously in a bad mood again and let me know in no uncertain terms that it was rather an inconvenience and I would have to stay late to finish off the accounts today. She was lucky that she hung up abruptly as I was just about to let rip with firstly the fact that we were on the same level at work and secondly I had covered for her and done a lot of her work when she decided to have her frequent ‘wellness days’! I didn’t feel like even going into work now.

A middle aged man with a seeing eye dog walked past me along the platform – and I became aware very quickly how fortunate I was in life in so many ways, but my gratefulness was quickly forgotten when suddenly and unexpectedly a tennis ball hit me in the face.

“Oh sorry” came the insincere voice of two schoolboys, laughing and retrieving the offending tennis ball from near my foot.

My lip felt numb and sore at the same time and I kept touching it and looking at my fingers as it felt as if it was bleeding, which it wasn’t. “Watch what you’re doing. I think you’ll find a notice just over there” I said pointing “which says you aren’t to play with balls on the platform so if you do it again I’ll report you, ok?” I sounded like a grumpy old cow but my lip was really hurting and it was just the last straw!

I grabbed my bag and walked quickly over to the ticket counter. If I was right I had about a minute until the train came. “A return ticket to ‘Little Fairtown on Sea’ please.

I felt free as I stepped on the train. I didn’t care about all the people left on the platform waiting for their train, or work or anything for that matter. I was going to a place I hadn’t seen before, and hopefully a quiet place with not many people around. I needed to recharge my batteries!

I wasn’t disappointed with ‘Little Fairtown on Sea’. It was quiet and beautiful. The tiny town comprised of very few shops but there was one where I could get a delicious coffee to sip while wandering along a deserted beach. I dug my toes into the cool wet sand and just stood. The white tops of waves crashed far out onto rocks, the foam flying high into the air. It was as if the scene was on re-wind when the green water hit the exact same spot over and over again. Cool wind blew my hair onto my face and twirling like a dancer, took all my cares and worries with it.

There was a short path through the sand dunes which I walked along and at the top of the incline was a wooden bench, an inscription on the back of the seat read ‘A place to sit and rest a while, if you come with a frown, you leave with a smile’. I didn’t want to ever leave the seat. I felt relaxed and at peace sitting watching a dog running along the stretch of sand and fetching a stick that his owner was throwing, listening to the seagulls squawking high above me and just getting away from the hum drum of life for a while. I knew I would be getting the last train from here back to normality but at least I knew that  a break from tedium was only a train ride away and a much different one from the ride I take….forty eight weeks multiplied by…….oh I couldn’t be bothered I was too relaxed for calculating that!

I sat on the seat and looked out of the window but it was dark and I could see nothing. The carriage was just about empty and very quiet – no crying babies, loud voices of the elderly, blowing of noses, or yelling of teenagers to each other. It was silent so I shut my eyes and enjoyed it.