The Beau....

Yippee! Hilary, aka Hilaria, at first did not believe her eyes. But there they were, all her lotto numbers had miraculously rolled forth, right onto her ticket. Ben, her snoring husband, even woke up to wonder what she was so excited about. While she was doing her victory dance in the lounge room, Ben was already browsing luxury car catalogs on his phone.

There she sat in the driveway, the red Ferrari of Ben's dreaming. Hilaria,of course, drove it first, all the way to her Christian fellowship prayer group at her local church. There were some stunned looks, not to mention catty Christian comments. Hilaria so did not care about her church of everyone else. Her golden years were looking full of love and light, blessed by lotto.

One of her Christian fellows suddenly noticed Hilaria, impressed by her good news. Deep in his male brain, Handsome Harry thought she might spread some of her good fortune his way. So he started his campaign.

He was not called handsome for nothing. For his age, he groomed up well. Hilaria was looking a bit of okay, her vegetarian food regime had reduced her flabs. Even Ben was sporting a few abs, he decided he could not do enough for Hilaria. After all, a man would do anything for a red Ferrari.

Handsome Harry followed Hilaria to the supermarket in the old slow news Hometown, where he chatted her up, buying her a bunch of flowers. The supermarket chick was underwhelmed, "You slut!" she hissed at Hilaria.

Unfortunately, Hilaria did not realise that men find it really easy to fall in love with rich women. She thought Handsome Harry was the real deal. They swapped phone numbers, and his plan was enacted. Ben did notice Hilaria was suddenly engaged in lots of phone texting, even kissing her phone good night.

Handsome Harry invited Hilaria to go camping with him for a dirty weekend. Hilaria agreed, and told Ben she was planning on attending a craft conference in a mountain retreat. Someone was giving her a lift in their car.

Now Ben, despite his amiable appearance, had been watching lots of daytime soaps in his retirement hobby of television. Ben could recognize a Red Flag Indicator when it appeared. Armchair experts rule, okay?

Ben started feeling paranoid, and was determined to get to the bottom of this mystery. So in the red Ferrari, he stashed a bunch of red roses, and his rifle. He was a good old boy, he was going to take down this beau. He was a male, Hilaria was his long ago bride. "A man on a mission is not to be trifled with!" he told himself, as he pretended to be asleep again.

The romantic weekend rolled around, and Hilaria set off with her sexiest nightie, and her craft bag. She was making this look good. She took a taxi to the church hall, discreetly followed by Ben, trying to look incognito in the flash red Ferrari.

Handsome Harry appeared, Ben's rival for Hilaria's sacred blips and lotto money! Handsome Harry was too concerned to set off to the mountains as soon as he could. So he did not look in his rear vision mirror. Ben pursued the pair of cheaters. It made a change from staring at the soapies, he was in one!

"Hilaria, how could you be so blind?" Ben wondered, as he drove his beautiful wheels along long and winding country roads. Handsome Harry's car was roaring up the gradients towards the mountains. Ben's flash Ferrari was more than capable of sticking to him in pursuit.

Through glen and vale, through vast stands of mountain trees, dappling sunshine in the forests of love, Ben was going to make sure that Hilaria was going nowhere after this. He was a determined male, feeling very possessive of the woman he had taken for granted for so long. Hell, how was he supposed to cook spinach pie? "Oh no," Ben muttered, "Now I have cravings for spinach. Maybe Hilaria has gone delusional. It's all those leafy greens!"

At the end of the drive, the wanna be lovers reached an isolated, slightly misty and eerie camping hideaway. It was deep in the forest, shadowed by towering trees. There was no one else there, which suited handsome Harry and his dastardly plans to get his filthy mitts on Ben's wife and Ferrari.

Ben drove to a discreet hiding place, and gazed at this love nest through his binoculars. Harry had kissed his wife! Then the bounder sat down in a deck chair, pretending to have a bad back. While Handsome Harry was quaffing a wine, poor, unsuspecting Hilaria was struggling to erect their tent for trysts.

Ben, being the good guy, could see the funny side of this. Hilaria had always hated camping in any shape or form, it gave her a bad back and a headache. That is what she always told him. This Handsome Harry was up to NO GOOD. Plus he was lazy as well. In Ben's opinion he was after ONE THING!

"Right," thought Ben, girding his ageing loins, "Enough!" He drove up to the camping site in a screech of top class rubber. He strode from HIS car. He held his rifle in position. Handsome Harry turned a whiter shade of pale, his testicles shriven. The tent collapsed again on Hilaria. Everyone was getting a bad back here. They were all old enough to know better, let's face it.

Ben fired some warning shots in the air, right above Handsome Harry's head. The retort, the recoil, the cordite floated in the air. The mountain birds all stopped chirping. Hilaria emerged from under the tent, stunned.

"Ben," Hilaria shrieked, "You care!"

"Of course I do. Come home with me, right now! Handsome Harry falls in love with rich women. He's a cad. He's not even a Christian."

Meekly, Hilaria clambered into the red Ferrari, plus her craft bag, of course. Ben presented her with a beautiful bunch of red roses, a token of his esteem for his wife of so many years.

"Your chastity is safe with me, Hilaria. We shall say no more about this. I need your spinach pie. You are never going anywhere near Handsome Harry again." Hilaria agreed, humbly. "I shall join the senior ladies' body pump class at the gym." she announced.

Ben set off home in the flash Ferrari, saying, "Next time you leave me, I am coming too."

Hilaria inhaled the fragrance of her roses. Now she had two bunches of flowers. Yes, she decided, sluts do have the most fun!