When Forever Ends

At two she will speak. She will speak to her mother, and her mother will touch her face in admiration and love. She will raise her own small hands to her mother’s cheeks and beyond their own understanding, her father will stand aside and wonder why she cups her hands to the air like so. 

At four she will paint her room blue, and beside her, her mother will paint with her. They share a favorite color, but that is not why she smiles. She smiles because her mother is next to her, and she loves her mother so much.

At six she will pick sour blackberries and lie them at the grave of her mother. Her mother will pat her back and take a blackberry from the heap. She will pop it into her mouth and make a face from the tart flavor. She will smile at her mother and take a blackberry of her own.  

When she is eight she will whimper in pain as she drags a comb through her knotted hair. Her mother will appear in the mirror and take the comb from her. She will brush the burl out of her daughters hair until it is smooth and shiny. She will stroke her hair and braid it in the way that only she can. 

When she is ten she will take slides to school to show to her class. Her class will clap and clap, and her mother will stand aside and smile in pride. She will look off and see her mother leaning on the wall and making that exultant smile, and she will smile too. 

When she is twelve she will go to summer camp and swim in the lake for hours. When she emerges, her lips will be blue and her mother will be waiting on the dock with a towel straight out of the drier. When the counselors see her wrapped up in that fluffy towel, they will watch in wonder because the towels are kept in the locked supply closet. 

When she is fourteen she will start high school with her best friend, and her mother will watch as she walks through the front door in such a confident way that it makes her laugh and cry at the same time, because she is growing up and her mother can’t be real to anyone but her.

When she is sixteen she will go camping for her birthday and forget her sleeping bag. So her mother will unravel her own and they will share the sleeping bag that no one else can see but still keeps her warm. They will hug each other through the night, and her father will wonder. He cannot see her mother, but she can. She can touch her, she can hear her, she can see her.  

When she is eighteen she will go off to college and her mother will put together a care package and deliver it straight to her dorm. Her mother will knock, and although her roommate can’t hear, she can. She will come to the door and accept the care package that no one else can see. She will share a warm smile with her mother. She will take a raisin cookie out of the package and take a bite out of it. Her eyes will twinkle. She will hand the cookie to her mother and close the door.  

When she is twenty she will meet the love of her life. She will feel her own mother standing beside her congratulating her because she finally found the right person to love. When she turns her head, she will see that her mother has tears in her eyes. She will roll her own with a smile and her mother will leave the two alone. 

When she is twenty-two college will be over. She will move in with her boyfriend and they will be happy. The house will be homey, with a hand-woven rug and robin-egg blue walls. Her mother will visit often, but still she keeps her mother unknown to anyone but her because it’s their own little secret. Her mother will smile at the walls because she knows that her daughter remembers her favorite color.

When she is twenty-four she will earn her credential to teach kindergarten and she will shout with joy because this is her dream. Her mother will accompany her to the kindergarten each morning for the first week, and then when she no longer needs the extra support, her mother will see this and leave, only she will come back each afternoon to escort her home, because she cares. 

When she is twenty-six she will marry the love of her life on an unmown lawn under a hoopa strung with roses and peonies. She will see her mother standing in the aisle with tears in her eyes as she says her vows. 

When she is twenty-eight she will have a child of her own. A marvelous, beautiful little girl that looked strikingly like her mother. She will kiss her daughter’s forehead, and will be surprised to feel a kiss on her own forehead. When she looks up, it will be her mother, who will stroke her hair and kiss her again. 

When she is thirty she will see her daughter smash her birthday cake with her fists. She will laugh, and she will hear the bubbly laugh of her own mother, standing off to the side. She will share a smile with her mother because now she knows what it’s like to be a mother too. 

When she is thirty-one there will be a terrible accident, and she will join her mother and cry and cry. Her mother will hug her and bring her back to her home with the robin-egg blue walls. She will place her hands on her daughter’s face, and her daughter will reach up her own tiny hands. She will place them on her mother’s cheeks, and then she will wipe away her mother’s tears. 

When forever ends, she knows everything will be alright. But for now, she will stay here and watch her daughter grow up.