IT'S NOT EASY BEING A TRANS-HUMAN 3.0

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IT ISN’T EASY BEING A TRANSHUMAN 3.0

…Not when 34.2% of my friends are already up to TH 3.5 or even a few at 4! Not that I am jealous. No, no. I had that programed out of me long ago, along with greed, lust and a few other useless old-fashioned human traits. Weird, the stuff those pre-transhumans had to deal with!

I am just talking to myself again or maybe to an imaginary someone from another time, even though self-talk, unlicensed imagining and daydreaming are not strictly allowed anymore, according to Code X37. Still, I like to talk inside my head because it doesn’t require registering or finding the right passcodes (even though all 2,000 of our passcodes are supposedly pre-remembered for us) and no timers to punch. I talk to my avatar Ava, too. I can’t leave her out especially since she is surgically attached to me. That doesn’t mean, even though we are legit digi-sisters for this lifetime (it’s Lifetime 23) that we are one and the same! Not by a long shot! Ava is what humans used to call a “kook”. Ava can eat a dish of that terminator tripe trash on Throwback Thursdays that looks like dirty sea foam and be happy. It makes me barf (to use 21st century language). Who eats food anymore except to be showoff retro? And who wears clothes anymore? She is weird. Dirndl skirts and stovetop hats? Maybe she is hoping to attract another hippy digi-sister from another pod. But she would need permission to be surgically attached to me and that won’t happen. Not as early as lifetime 23. Anyway I don’t have enough in my Masterpod account to afford another sister! It isn’t easy being a Transhuman 3.0!

And where would I attach her? Maybe I should put in a request for a sim- sister for Ava. I think they have some overstockfrom last year’s inventory. .I heard some of last year’s “girls” even had hair on their heads like humans used to have. It must have been a flaw but Ava told me she would like a sister with curls and maybe one with hands and polished fingernails. What if we were like humans and had to have a mother and father to make a new baby? A baby that got older and older and bigger and bigger and then went to sleep? One lifetime!

But Ava isn’t all the friends I have. I also talk to my sim-self Cy. At least Cy is free floating and not one of those annoying neurodivergent sims. He listens without having an opinion… at least when he is on my frequency or has insinuated himself (usually without announcing himself) into my pod to wait for the medi-cart to show up. At least he doesn’t turn up in a top hat. But he is having his usual monthly meltdown now while they are upgrading his hippocampus, so I make allowances. It’s hard being a second level sim and he’s doing it for the second time around. He tries, but he is not very smart. But at least he isn’t me. It isn’t easy being a 23rd lifetime Transhuman 3.0!

Sometimes I would like to party like it’s 2024! Parties went the way of the dodo bird in about Y3000. Those non-trans humans had it easy. They had only one self to take care of! Imagine being just a single self! And never having to turn that self in for repairs or upgrades or trade-ins! And humans in 2024 didn’t have all their devices implanted in their brains, and other organs. Imagine actually carrying around all those apps in your hands, over your shoulders, in a briefcase??? And having just a single reality. A nonvirtual reality at that! Every day, looking at the same humans, the same buildings, the same hometown? Well, at least they had THC and other psychedelics when the going got tough. But they had to find it and buy it and smoke it or ingest it! Not infuse it by the push of a thought button to get stoned. Not like us. Consciousness XL, we call our high. And there are so many streams of it to choose from! Alien Ecstasy Extra light is my current fave. And Ava’s, too, At least for everyday. Cy doesn’t join us. He is a sim-sober. So boring!

And how did those non-transhumans get around in 2024? AI-XXL says they actually had to get on a train or a plane or boat. And pay for the trip! Amusing to have to leave your pod to have an adventure. Isn’t it better to pick the right VR headset and take flight the way we do? I like to put on the #42 mind buds to go to imaginary places, places I make up with people I make up or sometimes dinosaurs or scary fish with claws and teeth! That’s got to be a lot better than getting on an airplane and flying to Paris or getting on a ship and sailing to Barbados, doesn’t it? I’ve never been to Paris or Barbados, but of course, they aren’t around anymore anyway. Not after the Sixth Extinction But on the bright side, we in 3024 don’t have to worry about mowing --what did they call them—lawns? Because the grass is gone, or shoveling the snow, because winter is gone. Or pruning the trees because endangered tropical plants and insects and animals aren’t around anymore. They aren’t endangered anymore; they are just gone. Pfft! And the oceans? They all dried up after the Great Toxic Dump of 2087 so no maintenance there, either. So we have nothing to take care of anymore in 3024. That’s progress, isn’t it? Still, I wonder sometimes what it felt like to walk in a rainforest or swim in an ocean. What was that other thing they did on the waves? Surfing? And that thing they did on the snow in the mountains? Skiing! I was telling Ava about it. That’s when there were seasons. Of course, you would need arms and legs and hands and feet to ski or surf or go shopping or find food or entertainment or anything. It’s 3024. Limbs are not needed anymore. Good riddance, right? I can use a thought button to get what I need. Imagine having to walk on long flesh stilts to (ha ha) to a supermarket! I saw one in a history-cloud once. I guess hands and arms were good for reaching for things you wanted and for riding a motorcycle, but no more. We just psycho- send and receive now when we want something. But what is there to want really? Nothing is the answer.

Even so. I like to imagine at night before they power down our brains to maintenance mode what it would be like to put on shoes and walk on feet to a market and pick things up with fingers that can feel. Ava said in the old days humans used to close their eyes, put on pajamas and get in bed go to sleep when it got dark! Well, it gets dark now when they decide it needs to be dark. What if it just happened every day?

What is it like to know you are going to just have one lifetime? We transhumans are produced to strict specifications. Guaranteed to remain factory fresh for several eons. Like I said, I am on lifetime 23.

It’s hard to keep track. Oo, The light is dimming…. I think the mainframe brain may be going off line…..it’s what the humans used to call bedtime… I wonder what it feels like to snore, sleep, and dream….but I will never know.

It’s not easy being a Transhuman 3.0.