these days

Sara does not usually read books unless forced. However, she found herself headed to the library today to return a book as a favor to a friend. The book is called ‘hidden amongst people’. She haven’t opened it but she thoroughly examined the cover of what she judged to be extremely dull. A brown cover with a goldish writing that took the entire space of the cover.

When she entered the library it felt like she drunk a sip of hot chocolate as it contrasted with the cold weather outside. This feeling or the sense of comfort, which came with warmth, made her decide to postpone retaining the book immediately and wonder around the library. ‘Hiding amongst people ... hidden amongst people’ she thought as she swung the book back and forth with her hand. She felt curios to know what kind of people are staying in the library up till now, as it's too late.

The first who caught her attention was a young man scraping into his notebook. He seemed stressed to her. ‘Medical student for sure’ she made a deduction. Now, she was sitting on a chair in the corner to observe as many people as she can. Next was an elderly women she was reading a book struggling with her glasses and the first thought that came into her mind was ‘cat lady’. ‘That was easy was it’ was more a feeling than a thought that fell upon her. Full with pride she decide to scoop through the book one of the sentences caught her eyes it was ‘the frequent remedy for distressed soul is a harmless indulgent in foulness’. That did not satisfy her for she was keen to be distressed. She searched for another person who may resemble a common idea to her. She found many for she was jumping to conclusion whenever she laid her eyes on someone and when she finished she rest her beck on the chair deciding there was nothing else interesting to do.

Sara was, for outsider viewer, as mediocre as she could be. She had a common face that would be mistaken for many people frequently. Her style was whatever that fit her and looked ok. Therefore, Sara felt comfortable in being the familiar person whom you never met and the person who was expected everywhere. Still as everybody else, she has an essence that is not easily distinguished. She steps on her right foot harder than her left foot when she walks which produced and tiny tilt that was hard to notice. She tastes pineapple with a distinct bitter taste different from anybody else. Also, she has a unique faint smell that quiet resembles burnt wood with a light scent of citron and to that she is completely oblivion due to that fact that her nose got quickly used to it and she no longer notice it. 

After a while of flipping through the pages of the book, Sara felt bored and decided to take a different approach. She will try to make an exaggerated assumption about those people she kept eyeing all night. At first, she looked attentively at a girl she declared was here to do some research but was never a usual resident of the library. She looked crossed. She had this habit of squinting her eyes at the computer screen, which indicated that she had no idea what she was reading. At this second observation, Sara noticed that this girl was extremely expressive and you can read her thought through her expression. It was clear to Sara that whenever that girl made a progress in her supposed research her face seemed calm and whenever there was an obstacle she would start twisting her mouth. She seemed cordial but at the same time sturdy. A good friend she must be, one to speak her mind right away and is to be trusted when it demand your confident. That thought gave Sara some heartache for she feels quiet lonely recently, not because she does not have any friends but she never trusted someone before.  

It would feel lonely to you, even when you have many friends, when you feel as if there a part of you unexplored. A part of you that you are afraid to discover alone. A part of you uncompleted, uncherished. Wanting someone to admire you, to look at you with love. Someone simply to be there to take your hand after a long day.

Another look through the book. This time her fingers traced the sentence ‘As it comes to me I am just a helpless small winged creature carried by the wind’. An old man was also reading, he seemed to be in his late 40s or 50s, a book for Jane Austen ‘sense and sensibility’. She remembered wanting to read this book wanting to read all of Jane Austen novels. Why can’t she just grape any of them and start reading. Her mother had all the books she could only ask her to borrow them. ‘It’s a story of sisters, I suppose’ she tried to remember what she knows about it. ’I wonder if this man read it before’ she said to herself ‘I guess he’s the kind of person who never stops growing, never stops learning’ her mother was like that. She knew her mom many times in her life for she kept on growing and changing and she admired her for it. Sara loved the feeling of being caught in her mother’s wind. She didn’t feel as being thrown aimlessly into a storm but now thinking about it spared her the heaviness of gravity and the constant feeling of fallen down that many times domed on her.  

‘God bless you son’ the declared ‘cat lady’ said to the young man ,who may be studying medicine, while he was helping her get up from her chair and collect her stuff ,he was leaving too. Sara watching the scene with heavy eyelids wake up startled from her snooze quickly checking her watch ‘10 pm’ she whispered to herself ‘what time does the library close’. The hall was empty but from her and another girl. So she asked this girl about the time this library close ’12 o’clock’ she answered in a sweet clear and audible voice then lingered her eyes on Sara, smiling, until Sara smiled back. When the girl withdrew her gaze, Sara open the book again and read ‘if I can’t be beautiful I will be poetic’. ‘Two hours until it closes’ she thought ‘I will stay then for a little while’.

Contrary to usual rules of the passage of time when there is no distractions, it was almost 11 pm when Sara noticed the clock. She spent her time gazing into the dark windows, the tables, the bookshelves, and the cover of the book she possessed. She felt reluctant to return it. She wanted to look through its pages again. Passing her fingers’ tips upon the leather cover. It doesn’t look dull now. While attempting to open the book again, the girl sat suddenly on a chair on Sara’s table. ‘did you like the book?’ she asked .Sara said that she didn’t read it and properly won’t read it. ‘Well I didn’t like it very much anyway’ she said in a calm voice.

‘I only scooped through it I am not a big reader’. ‘I guess that I should return it now and go home but its quiet late now that I think about it’ Sara added it mild distress.

‘The librarian is an old man he doesn’t bother to look around before he closes the door before he leaves, I mean if you want’

The tone of the girl’s voice held a conspiracy vibe that encouraged Sara to stand from her chair and nod to the girl to lead her to a more hidden space.

They made sure no one is looking and slithered to concealed spot. When Sara took a false turn, the girl held her elbow in guidance and swiftly let it go. She was a person of sweet, engaging manners and of enterprising spirit overflowed with shyness.

‘We will scoop through books if you like’ the sweet girl suggested.

‘First, let me know your name. Mine is Sara’

‘It’s Sam’. Then they exchanged smiles as they did before. However, this time it seemed more natural.

 ‘I spend some nights here so don’t be anxious’ Sam said that when noticing that Sara was looking around.

‘Fine, you said you didn’t like this book then what you like?’

‘I don’t like whole books also. I like some of the book, only what I wish to like. I don’t agree with the assumption that I should like the whole book. I don’t want to feel the need to defend all of it when some of it is trash’

‘I see, we are very similar’

‘Yes, I suppose so’ Sam said with a hint of a laugh then added ‘it can also work on artist’

Sam started to take books from the shelves and stir their pages. Book after book, until she apparently found what she was looking for. ‘I pass around people in discrete; I pass people keeping myself from them’ Sam read from a book with a colorful cover. ‘Would you say that this line suits you, Sara?’

‘I am sure you can find better’.

Sara was now participating in quotes searching. She and Sam were pulling books from the shelves and reading for each other whatever caught there attention.

‘I preferred the darkness until I met you then light was the necessity to admire your feature’

‘To walk with pride I can’t but to with shame to walk up right that I can’

‘He was properly one of the torments of God; he can’t be so snobbish for nothing’

‘I love the sense that takes over the world when I am with you’

They kept reading to each other until they were too tired to reach for the books at the top shelve, to put the books back and at last, to even stand. They sat beside each other on the floor. Sara was drowsier than Sam her words became more indolent and she couldn’t help but notice that Sam voice was still steady but sweat. ‘What a sweat girl’ she thought to herself while falling asleep.

When she woke up Sam was gone it was morning and there was noise in the library. She lingered a little hoping that Sam was still there and when all hope was gone she took the book ‘hidden amongst people’ which she was holding in her lap while sleeping walked to librarian desk and returned it then she left the library, the weather was warmer than last night.