The Promise

I’d been dreading this day all week, but there I stood outside of the home I grew up in at precisely 3:22 in the morning on March 19th. Nana, my grandmother who lives in Venezuela, used to go on and on with these stories of her childhood, like a train running from the bottom of Florida to the top of Canada. I will always remember her stories and most importantly, the lessons I have learned from them. The greatest lesson I acquired from the power of her knowledge was to never – under ANY circumstance, break a promise, for the consequences would be severe, violent, malicious, horrific – the list went on. She would tell me how the universe was always listening to everything you said. Once the words escaped from your mouth – no matter how hard you tried to hold them back, once they were said, they could not be unsaid. If one was to break their word, the universe would know and punish you for your lies. 

When I was younger, between the ages of 6-10, I lived at Nana’s place in Venezuela with my sister, Alena, since my parents both had important work and neither could look after us. My mother and father were both doctors in America. Now, I am 20, and living with my parents.  I only get to visit Nana once a year due to the far distance. I still remember the good old days when I would sit on her lap on the wooden swing of Nana’s front porch listening to the sweet songs of the birds and watching the sun go up. I miss her kind words of wisdom. I miss her secretly telling me I was her favorite grandchild. She still calls me every Monday night right after dinner – which is typically a mixture of chicken, beans, and rice. You could say my mother is not the best chef. I usually eat dinner with mother – who prefers the label “mama” and my sister. Father, who prefers “Pablo”, is typically out working late and arrives home around 9:20 (except for Tuesdays when he arrives home even later due to drinking at the local bar with his “buds”.)  

Dinner with three fourths of the family was boring, simple, and delightful. I enjoyed the meals spent with my family, but at times it would get quite boring. My family didn’t have much in common. My sister never liked to have much fun. She was plain, vanilla ice cream on a cone plain. I never talked to her much, but lately we’d been growing closer. I started telling her things I’d never told anyone, including Nana.  

Yesterday, I thought everything in my life was going to be perfect. My boyfriend, Juan (whom I’d been dating for two and a half years), had just proposed to me under a beautiful waterfall next to a field of lilac flowers. I hate to admit because I am not a big crier – but yes, I did shed a few tears. It was the happiest I had been in years! This would finally mean no more living in my parents' basement. I would get to live in a new home, preferably one lightly tucked in the woods next to a creek with children and the love of my life. I felt like a bursting ball of sunshine! I was crazy excited. That night I presented the ring to my mother, father, and sister. Mama and papa were so happy for me. Sister acted excited but I could tell something was off. As I was showing off my 2 carrot diamond set on a platinum band, my sister headed to the bathroom. My fiancé, Juan, followed. It was strange but I figured everything was fine and decided not to overthink anything. I kept showing off the ring to my parents.  

Later that night we all gathered around the table and ate chili dogs – not a typical dish in the Rodriniel household but today was a special occasion. It was a fancy dinner, all the ladies were in dresses and the men – well, the men did not dress up at all.  

“Burr. Is it just me or is it freezing in here?” I said. 

“Definitely just you. You can grab one of the velvet sweaters from my room though, that’ll keep you warm,” Alena stated.  

 “Thank you,” I replied.  

I strutted up the stairs feeling good about myself. I headed to the closet and grabbed the velvet sweater from my sister’s room when something struck the corner of my hazel eyes. It was a corduroy jean jacket. I knew Alena never wore anything jean material – she always hated the feeling.  

“Hmm...that’s odd,” I thought aloud.  

I grabbed the jean jacket that was barely sticking out from under her bed. It had the initials “JN” on its collar. For several seconds I was in deep confusion, wondering who this jacket belonged to. Finally, it hit me. The initials JN belonged to Juan Napita – also known as my soon to be husband. My immediate thought was that they shared a bed for a night, but I knew I could not jump to any conclusions yet.  I needed more evidence of his potential stay. I started searching through her drawers. I still could not find anything. Relief swept over me.  

That is, until I saw a stack of papers in a box under her dresser. I slowly pulled out the box and opened the papers. They were letters. I opened the top letter. The letter read: 

3/14/2020 

Dear Alena,  

I miss you greatly. It has been hard keeping this secret. I am sweating like a pig. I do not know what to do. I want you to be mine but I know it will only hurt Amala and I love Amala. But, I also love you. I wish to spend another night with you but we must draw a line. I think it is best if we stop seeing each other. It will protect both of us and I cannot ruin what I already have. Let us both keep our relationship a secret. We will no longer address each other in public. I am so sorry. It is for the best. I have a very good relationship with your sister and I wouldn’t want to ruin my relationship with her nor yours. I am truly sorry. But this is for the best.  

Love,  

Juan  

My tears started pouring like a rainstorm in the jungle. Suddenly I felt all alone. I could not believe it.  

“It can’t be true,” I repeated over and over in my head. The love of my life cheated on me. But that wasn't the worst part. The worst part was that it was with MY sister.  

“I swear on my heart, her time is over. She will pay. She will die. I will get my revenge,” I screamed aloud, my voice shaking.  

I ran downstairs with mascara streaming down my face and slapped my two-faced sister as hard as I could.  

“I hate you!! You will pay for this. I cannot believe you two were in a relationship behind my back,” I screamed even louder.  

“Woah, woah, woah, let’s not.” Juan started. 

“And you. Don't even get me started.” I interrupted. I slapped him three times as hard as I did Alena. 

My parents quickly got up and stepped back. I could tell they were scared.  

I had never been so enraged in my life. It was times like this I needed my Nana. I stormed out of the house, grabbed my mama’s keys and credit card, and slammed the door. To be quite honest I didn’t know where I was going. But I was going and that was for sure. I hopped in our yellow van and turned the keys. Juan ran out to the car begging me to stay. It didn’t matter what he had to say though because we were over for good. I pulled out of the driveway and stepped on the gas. I quickly dialed up the number to speak with my Nana – I needed to hear her voice, but she did not answer. I called the Holiday Inn Hotel. I had never stayed there before but I was desperate.  

I put my phone on speaker. 

“Hello. This is Holiday Inn Hotel Manager Jenna speaking, how can we help you today?” The lady on the line started speaking.  

“Hello. I‘d like to book a room for the next month,” I replied. I was trying to hold back the tears while talking.  

I continued to speak with Jenna and worked out all the details. It was almost eight when I arrived at the hotel. I realized I hadn’t even packed a bag. When I finally got to my room, which was room 533, second door to the left, I laid flat on my bed and sobbed for three hours. I checked my phone to see 32 missed calls from the following: 5 from mom, 2 from dad, 15 from Juan, and 10 from Alena. Wait – make that 33, Alena was trying to reach me again.  

All of a sudden my previous words start flooding back to me – it was like the universe trying to tell me something. I remember what I had screamed to my sister before I stormed out of the house. I said that I would kill her. All the flashbacks rushed back. I could hear Nana’s voice telling me I must never break a promise.  

“Oh no” I mumbled to myself.  

I despised my sister but I knew I could not kill her. Voices were talking to me and screaming at me. I felt like I had no choice. Tomorrow I would kill my sister.  

I got no sleep because I was too busy processing my thoughts. I knew I could not, but I knew I must. I paced back and forth. I immediately grabbed my keys, credit card, and phone, and headed to my car. I quickly drove to the nearest Walmart and grabbed a black dress and black ski mask. I purchased the items and headed back to my car to put them on. I looked in the back seat hoping for guidance and found a knife placed gently on the velvet seat of the van. It’s like someone was leading me to do the awful deed – someone other than myself. I was hesitant but something kept telling me to do it. I concluded it was the universe. After a too short 45-minute drive I found myself in the driveway of my home. Everyone was most likely still asleep – it was three in the morning. I started heading to the front door – my hands shaking. I kept wanting to turn around and head back to my car but it felt like someone was pushing me towards that red door. I started to turn the key into the lock when my phone starts rang. 

“Damn it!! Be quiet, you stupid phone,” I whisper yelled to keep quiet.  

I tried to turn my phone off, but it kept ringing. I sprinted back to my car and sat back in the driver seat. I answered the call. It was Nana.  

Suddenly, I felt safe. I felt like I was back in Venezuela sitting on her lap with her arms wrapped around me. I wanted that feeling again. I suddenly realized everything was all wrong. I told her everything. I was surprised she wasn’t the slightest bit mad at me. That’s one thing I love about Nana, she’ll always love you for you and would never judge someone for their mistakes. 

“Listen child, not all promises have to be kept,” Nana’s voice soothed me. “There may be a consequence, but that is far better than the cost of your sister’s life. Child, I know how heartbroken and angry you are, but breathe. My mother used to tell me ‘the best revenge is success’.  If you truly want revenge you show her that you don't need her and that you are successful without her. Come down to Venezuela for a few months and stay with me. We can live fulfilled lives and forget about them. Child, I love you and I know you are better than this,” Nana said in her sweet loving voice. 

“Nana, thank you. I love you so much and I’ll be there soon. I’ll go inside to pack my bags and get a flight. I am so sorry, I really don’t know what got over me.” 

“Don't be sorry dear, the devil has it’s ways but the light fight its way back if you let it. I love you. I will see you soon. Call me if you need anything. Goodbye,” Nana ended the call. 

   -+- 

All of a sudden, I am panting. I wake up from my bed with sweat dripping down my face. Juan is calling my name. I sit up.  

“It was all just a dream,” I say aloud. I plant a big kiss on Juan. I love him. And I know he loves me. I get the feeling that the dream was pointing me in the right direction though. 

With confidence, I tell Juan my big decision, “Juan, I love you, but I need to leave the country. I have decided I am going to stay in Venezuela to live with my Nana for a bit. You can come if you’d like but I know you have a life here, and I wouldn't want you to miss out on it.” 

“What?? No! Why? You can’t just leave me!!” He yells. 

“Juan, it isn't you, I need to find who I am and who I am supposed to be. Please, Trust me. I will be back soon,” I promise. 

And with that final statement, I pack my bags and book the next flight.  

“Venezuela here I come!!” I say with the biggest smile on my face.  

Spring is the time for a rebirth, a new start, a fresh page. All my anger is flushed out of me. I am a new person and I am leaving this all behind me. I want to be where the sunshine is, and I encourage you – yes you, to do the same. It isn’t about the mistakes we make; it is about what we have learned and how we can grow from them. Always follow the sunshine even when darkness tries to block it out.