Wonderlands Newest Friend

It was a strange day in Wonderland. The Glasses Birds were chirping, the shovel birds were digging, and you could hear the glorious singing flower garden off in the distance. Wonderland developed a silly atmosphere from beyond the keyhole that opened up to a world of magic. There has been a lot more maniacal, but friendly, shenanigans going on from the shores of the Walrus and the Carpenter to the Red Queens Garden gates ever since Hare found those new wild berries in the Tulgey Woods. Hare and Alice stumbled upon the berry while they were out for a spooky stroll in the dark and dense forest. Alice gasped at how vibrant the berry glowed in the darkness. It was a shiny and waxy berry with, what looked like, river water that was a beautiful sky-blue color in a flowing streak from the top of the berry, by its neon green hairy leaves, to the bottom. Alice gave it a sniff and an odd but welcomed smell followed her nostrils. It was a pungent sting but what followed was an earthy and sweet aroma. It had the smell of a liquid dessert to chase down after the hot milk tea with nightly biscuits. They brought the berries back and started to juice them. The smell had Alice and Hares mouths watering. The first taste was phenomenal. It was smooth like melted butter and a delectable mix of blueberry and peach. It sent Hare and Alice into a trance that distorted their reality in a hallucinogenic way.

Alice looked at Hare and said, “Wouldn’t this taste scrumptious in a chilled tea?”

"There I was..."

"WE Alice," The Hatter interrupted. His patience was running low after the day he had. "There WE were."

"Oh, right silly me thank you Hatter." Alice replied. Alice was drunk on a concoction the Hare had thrown together after hearing that their friends returned.

"There we were, Hatter and I..."

"I-I-I was there too Alice!" The White Rabbit interjected.

"Yes, but everyone knows you were there too Rabbit.” Alice snapped back.

“Besides you don't know the whole *burp* story, because you ran away like a scaredy-cat."

Whatever the Hare made for Alice tonight gave her the stage four gurgles.

“Now, if everyone would please stop breaking my train-of-thought." Alice aggressively thumped her teacup on the table, an indication for the Hare to refill her cup before things got messy.

While The Hare poured the drink into Alice’s cup she stood on her chair, to step onto the table, so everyone could see and hear her clearly.

"There WE were” Alice continued. Spilling her liquid concoction all over the table.

“Oh this is going to be a good story.” The dormouse grabbed a biscuit before settling into his favorite tea pot.

“It was right outside the Red Queens garden that I had the most amazing idea. I suggested that we sneak into the garden and steal as many Playing Card Guards staff weapons as we could, all within a 30 second period.” Alice began her story.

“We tried to talk her out of doing this, reminding her that the Red Queen has a personal vendetta out for her after the last time she snuck into the garden.” The Hatter calmly interjected.

“S-s-o I pulled out my pocket watch!” The White Rabbit interrupted the Hatter.

Alice got up from her seat, stands on top of her chair, and stumbles her way onto the tea table while wagging her teacup like a finger in the air.

“If anyone else tries to talk over me while I am telling MY side of the story then I’m feeding the dormouse to Cheshire.”

A collective *gasp* left the table. Finally, she had everyone’s attention.

“Thank you all very much.” Alice gave her friends a courtesy.

“Picture all three of us crouched and looking in through the bushes at the tired guards. I was thinking they needed something interesting to do today. So, I turned to Hatter, shot him an evil grin, and mildly suggested that we had a friendly competition of ‘Who Can Steal the Most Weapons in 30 Seconds.’ Obviously, he said yes, but The White Rabbit started to *burp* try and talk us out of it saying that ‘this sounded dangerous,’ and ‘the Red Queen will catch us. So, then I told The White Rabbit to pull out his pocket watch and yelled GO. So off we ran into the garden.” Alice stumbled to the other side of the table. “I was weaving in and out of their grasps but wasn’t able to get a hold on any of the staffs.”

“I would like to interject and state that I was just trying to survive.” Hatter reassured everyone.

“Any who,” Alice continued. “The White Rabbit yelled, ’12 seconds left!” And that’s when I knew it was now or never. I was leaving that garden with at least one staff. The guards are chasing me desperately but they are not catching up to me. I was a bread & butterfly in their hands. I whipped around and locked eyes with Hatter letting him know the plan.”

“I still didn’t know the plan even after she started to execute it.” The Hatter interjected. He sounded exhausted.

“I made eye contact with him.” Alice continued. “Halted to a stop so the guards sprinted ahead of me. That’s when I unsheathed the weapon and threw it in Hatter's direction. That’s when White Rabbit yelled ‘3 seconds!’ so I kicked into overdrive, launched myself at Hatter, busted through the bushes back to the White Rabbit and we sprinted away! Alice threw up her arms up in the air remembering her victory. “Although Hatter dropped the staff while running away.” She flopped her arms down in sadness.

“And this event is why I am never trusting her again.” The Hatter lifts his leg onto the table and reveals a gash across his thigh.

“Oh *burp* silly me. Let’s get you cleaned up now, Hatter.” Alice hopped off the table and grabbed Hatter by the arm.

“What a traumatizing afternoon this turned out to be.” The dormouse slowly closed the tea pot lid ready to tell the story of how he took the greatest nap.