Tick Tock

Tick, tock, it’s still on repeat.

 “FUCK OFF WITH THE DAMN TICKING AND TOCKING!” I yell with vigour

Within ten seconds all eyes were on me. Instant regret is running through me. I could swear that the scream is only in my mind, but I guess not. Oops. If only a rock just magically appears, I could just walk, rather run, right under it, until it is my turn.

Across from me, but slightly to the left, a lady is sitting there. She looks to be about sixty years old. Her hair is a little greying at the roots, and her face has drooped a little bit. Her blue eyeshadow is way too dark for her complexion. She is rolling her eyes so damn much. I honestly thought the mommy myth about eyes staying in the back of your head is coming true. I decide that I am going to flip her off. Then, I look to the right and left of her, and I realize she has three kids with her. They can’t be any older than seven or eight years old. Shit. I know the kids saw me that do that because one sticks her tongue out at me and the other returns the bird.

There is this other lady who looks a little older than the other three girls. I can say she looks pretty similar to my age. She is just staring at me. She is wearing this cute black dress, with pink lace trim. She also has on some flat, black shoes, with red bows. Her blonde hair is styled in a ponytail. I mean, seems to me like she is a wee bit on the overdressed side, no? I do keep my eyes on her and staring back because I want to take in all her features. It isn’t like she is turning her eyes away from me either, so I guess this is fine. Though, this does mean no full-body scan.

Yup, I do sound like a nasty girl. You know, the ones that are TV and you say “ew, such a creep,” about. I do not mean to be that creep. Shit, what if she thinks I’m a creep? Did I just mess this up?

Anyway….

Oh no, she is getting up, and it looks like she is walking over to me right this moment. Why in the world is she doing something stupid like that? I just flipped the bird to whoever she is with, and she thinks it’s a good idea to come over and be next to me. To say I am perplexed is a wee bit of an understatement at this point. She sits down right next to me and I gulp.

 “Hi,” she says softly

For a second, I am not sure if I even hear that. Is she speaking to me, or herself?

“Uh, hi?” I respond, my voice sounding a little unsure.

She smiles a little. I can feel my body react to that in a way I did not expect.

“I’m Rameen, and you are?”

I cannot help but chuckle. Who the hell has a name like Rameen? I do look down after the chuckle though. Damn, I am sure my mom would be mad if she saw how rude I am currently being.

 “I’m Jolene,” I say.

Yes, my mom named me after that song, about the bank lady. She just had to be a damn Dolly Parton fan, it couldn’t be someone cooler…

“Nice name,” She says

I can finally see her teeth, and they are so perfect for her mouth.

“You too,” I say with a snicker.

Now it is her turn to chuckle a little.

“Sure, nice name. I know full and well it sounds like those cheap noodles you get,” She says and rolls her eyes

“Yeah, what was your mom thinking?”

After the last word exits my mouth, I wish I did not say anything. Who am I to judge?

She is looking down at the floor and swallows so hard. I am sitting here, desperately hoping the secretary is going to call my name.

“I think Ramen Noodles is the last thing she could afford to eat, but she knows that food names usually don’t get approved. So, she chose Rameen. It’s not just me though. My first younger sister is Pepper, my middle sister is Rizelle and my youngest sister is Fenela. So it’s safe to say my mom wasn’t thinking about us when she named us”

I am taken aback by her words a little. This is the first time someone opens up to me like this. I guess they are all here to support her. At least she has people with her, I have no one. Not a single person who wants to be here with me right now. I tend to shy away from people being vulnerable, yet here I am wanting to hug a stranger.

Also, being in such a dimly lit waiting room is such a bummer. Everyone looks like they are near death, and I don’t blame them. The TV is playing some stupid silent movie, not sure what the title is, but everyone who keeps looking at it, just wants it to be over. I think a TV with nothing on it would brighten the mood in here.

 “Sorry?” I ask

“It’s fine, she kind of just fucked off four years ago…” She says

Right as I am about to say something to her, I hear it again.

The fucking ticking and tocking. It is like nails on a chalkboard, but the teacher is so cruel, that she just keeps doing it, to annoy us. Or worse, it is like a bee buzzing on and on by your ear as you try to sleep. I open my mouth and right as I am about to yell, a hand covers my mouth. My eyes nearly bug out of my head and I start to pound both of my feet against the floor. I also swing my arms around and end up hitting Rameen in the arm.

As I look over at her, I realize it is her hand over my mouth. What the fuck? Who does she think she is? She pretends to be nice, and then she pulls this shit? Also, no one in the room with us seems concerned that this is happening to me right now. I guess if she tries to kill me, no one will try and help. So much for bystander intervention.

 “I don’t want my sisters getting scared again. They’re sensitive to noises, so the clock plus you might send them into overdrive.” She says

For a moment, I believe her. Yet, there is something in the back of her eyes that makes me question if this is true. Do I have a choice other than to take her word for it? There’s a part of me that wants to know more about her mom fucking off, and then there is a part of me that wants to cover her mouth so she can’t speak anymore. I sit here, just reflecting, and taking one more good look at her. I decide it will be best to go with a nice route for right now. We are probably both here for the same reason, and right now, we all probably just need some support.

I am just about to tell her that it’s okay, that I understand. I want her to know that I am not angry that she covered my mouth anymore. I want to say sorry that I flipped off, the woman I assume to be, her grandmother. I look right at her, and my lips open up.

“It’s…” I barely get out when I notice the secretary coming out of her booth.

 “Jolene Damescki, Dr.Banter is ready to see you now”

I take in a deep breath and dart my eyes to the floor. I feel a pair of lips hit my cheek, and I know I am red.

“Sorry,” she says softly

“It’s okay, I found it comforting,” I say

“You’ll be okay Jolene, I promise,” she says

I get up, and walk toward the doctor’s office, wondering, if I will ever see her again.