A Sasquatch Vents

Hello, my name is Monster.

Everyone is scared of me, and I don't know why. My real name is Sasquatch, but everyone just calls me monster. I don’t like that! I’m really nice! I don’t look so different from my fans-I like to call them that. I’m just a bit taller and hairier. I look pretty cuddly if you ask me, my hair makes me look like I’m wearing a fuzzy fur coat. It helps me a lot too! I stay warm every night, I camouflage with my surroundings very well, and I can even make my own hair styles!

Anyway, I wanted to vent about my feelings on how I was treated these past few months by my fans. My local neighbor, the tortoise, said it’s good to vent and release angry emotions. So, that’s just what I’m going to do. My fans come by a lot, but they never want to see me personally, or they catch a glimpse of me and run away screaming. They see me as a killer, but I swear I’m not. I wouldn’t hurt a fly. Well, I have at least four cases to tell that proves my good intentions and pure love I have for my fans and visitors.

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The first case is the family picnic. There was this nice family that was having lunch near the lake. The man-presumably the father, was starting a fire to cook some patties. Now listen closely, that fire was barely even one, it looked like a lit candle. So, being the gentleman that I am, I went to grab more sticks and rocks to help that candle grow into a strong fire. I didn’t see the family anywhere, but I heard some laughter and splashing in the lake. A fire that’s ready for them would be a great gesture! I then clamped the two rocks together and BOOM, a powerful fire to cook them patties. And well you see, the fire may have spread and burned a few things, but the patties still looked good and crispy, although a bit black. I heard the family scream at me and cry about everything being burnt, but at least I gave them a nice meal. It wasn’t long until the firefighters hosed the area. 

I’m sure the family is grateful for the help, and now it’s time for my second case. This one was about a lady who lost her cat. I am a huge lover of animals, after all-they’re my neighbors and dear friends. I heard that sweet lady yelled out "Mr. Tabby Mr. Tabby" about a billion times. This is a pretty huge forest, but thankfully my neighbors can help me search for the little feline. I spoke with the squirrels, and they squeak back in response. A couple of seconds later and the squirrels arrive back with a victory squeak. I followed my rodent friends and found my missing Mr. Tabby. I’m a pretty strong guy so ripping the tree from the soil wasn’t too hard. Mr. Tabby sure liked being up there, I thought the young lady wouldn’t mind if I brought the whole tree. I went back to the same spot where the lady was weeping for her missing pet. You should’ve seen her face, her mouth was so wide open, and her eyes looked a bit faint, she must’ve been so happy! I dropped the tree on her white van to make it easier for her to carry. Mr. Tabby scurried on the bark and landed in my long arms. I smiled widely, waiting for my praise but all the lady could do was fall backwards in silence. 

That lady must’ve been very happy that she fainted from shock! She woke up in a speedy minute and ran quickly to her van and drove off. I tried to reach her so she could get her Mr. Tabby but the car was already an ant from the distance. Oh well, at least I have a new friend and neighbor!

My third case is pretty heroic. There was this couple that was hiking on a rocky mountain. They would carry these heavy backpacks and were very dehydrated. They were trying to reach the very top, where I was at. No worries, I know where the best water is, so they won’t go tumbling down. I went to my friends, the beavers who worked on their dam. I normally go here to sight see but I figured I could rent this place out. I ask my friends and they flatter their tails to the ground, in agreement to lending their dam for me. 

I saw the couple almost reach the top of the mountain, and it was time for me to act. I pulled the twigs, sticks, and rocks until it formed a seeped hole. A whole bunch of water came out and I can see the couple screaming with joy at the amount of water I gave them. You should’ve seen it; it was like a water slide. I heard them say, "that monster did this!" And I couldn't be any happier. It’s good to have acknowledgement for my good deeds. 

My last case is when I saved a life. I saw this man recording on his camera and taking pictures of anything he could find. Behind him was this dirty brown van with loads of technology. I see the man continue to take pictures and make lots of flashes. I heard a loud crash and I saw the man being tumbled down by all that technology. It must’ve slipped from the van. I got closer to him and heard him groan in pain. I pull him out of the metal cluster and check for a pulse. Good. There’s still a pulse but the poor guy is still unconscious. I can’t do CPR and I don’t know how to put bones together. That’s when an idea popped in my head. I remember my neighbor, the bear, telling me about these places called hospitals-it’s where my fans go to when they're hurt.

I didn’t have time for such thoughts, I had to take action. I carried the man back to his vehicle and placed him gently on the seat next to the driver’s seat. I never drove before but I feel like it’ll come natural to me.  I grabbed the keys from his shorts and turned on the massive vehicle. I drove into the forest, apologizing to anything that was in my way. Finally, I’m on the open road. I swing back and forth towards every car I come across. The man’s body was flying in every direction I turned. I have heard him whisper "what are you"- until a flashlight dropped on his head and put him back into his deep slumber.

I saw a blue sign with the words ‘hospital’ down below. I was getting close. I passed another car and found the safely gated hospital. I unbuckled the man and carried him in my arms, my sweat anxiously coming out. I place the man in front of the ER and wish him the best of luck. I heard him groan and screech "what?" I took that as a thank you. I went back into his vehicle and told him to visit me so he could get his car back. The only thing I heard was “my car!” As I started to drive away from the hospital.

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There you have it! My heroic deeds and love for my fans. Actually, my friend pigeon gave me this newsletter that proves all my hard work. I’m no longer called a monster; I now have a new name. The new name is Bigfoot, and I couldn’t be any happier! My my, it shows me everywhere! Like when I helped the lady with her cat or the family- oh look! It shows the guy I helped with at the hospital, he looks happy, and it mentions me stealing his car. 

But that’s it. I can happily say that my fans are super supportive of my good intentions, and I have been given many rewards. I got good food, a cat, a nice little pool, and even my own car! It’s where I’m in now, snuggling with my friend Mr. Tabby and drifting off to sleep. But most importantly, I’m no longer a monster, I am now Bigfoot. Goodnight my fans!