Promised

"Dem! Breakfast!" I heard Nana yelling from the kitchen.

I stared at the mirror before me the circles under my eyes were noticeable. I quickly covered it up with makeup and finished getting ready.

I'm on my last day of high school exactly twenty-four hours from now I'll be at my graduation ceremony and then next month I'm riding a plane to the United Kingdom to study at my dream university.

"Good morning Nana!" I greeted in delight, spreading my arms at my side.

"You're going to be late" she scolded, pinching my left cheek hard.

I whined in pain, pulling away from her and rubbing my now red cheek. Geez, I love you too grandma.

"No, I'm not, I still have like ten minutes to spare," I answered back, grabbing an apple. I was about to bite into it when Nana snatched the apple from my hand,

"Eat" she pointed at the plate with pancakes, eggs, and bacon in front of me, I grumbled while I sat down.

"Your dad left already, I suggest you either take the bus or ride your bike" I nodded in response

She had her shoulders slumped, her back facing me. I could sense something was wrong. I don't know why but when you have lived with the people around you for all your life, you know right away what they are thinking or feeling without them having to say anything about it.

"Is everything alright?" I finally asked.

she sighed, turning back to me and leaning against the kitchen counter. She removed her glasses, crossing her arms above her chest. 

"Your dad and I talked last night" she started and instantly I remembered hearing them silently arguing downstairs from my room.

"Stella-"

"Stop" I held up a hand stopping her from saying anything further

"I have nothing to do to her, I have nothing to say to her. So before you try to convince me to do something against my will. I'm leaving for school." I started to get up from my seat grabbing my backpack and headed straight to the door

"I thought you still had ten minutes to spare?" I heard my Nana call out, following me out of the kitchen

"I don't anymore" I called back and jogged towards my bike, putting on my helmet and slung my legs over the seat.

"You didn't even eat breakfast"

"I'll grab something on the way"

"Take this instead" she handed the apple from earlier and I thankfully took it and bit on it

She looked tired it's like this one thing that they had been telling me for days was draining for her. I couldn't give in, I don't want to. This is a great way to start my day.

"I know you both mean well..." I trailed off

"But it's not easy, it will never be easy"

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I told myself to calm down and bit my lower lip.

"She left, make her suffer the consequences"

With that I rode off, my eyes straight ahead having no intentions of turning back. Why should I? When that one person that I watched leave never even spared me a glance. It was painful enough to finally accept that she will never keep her word and now this?

I arrived at the campus with my legs aching from pedaling. I could still feel the adrenaline coursing through my veins.

I got off my bike and headed to the entrance when I felt a pair of hands covering my face

"I know your scent Mark," I said, pulling his dirty hands off my eyes

"Dammit, I knew I shouldn't have worn that perfume today" he smiled goofily at me, I returned it with a blank stare

"Why the long face?" he frowned, I sighed and headed up the stairs to the entrance of the school

Mark Weber is my best friend, the only friend I have. We became close since the day he broke my barbie at the playground inside the sandbox which he still denies till now. He's the only other person besides my dad that understood me.

"Nana and dad" I replied, he nodded in understanding

"Same old, same old?"

"Yup"

By now you are probably wondering who is this Stella and what the hell does she need? Stella is-was rather-my mom. Remember when I said I got into a university in the UK?

Apparently, over the ten years since she left, she decided to settle down in the UK. And my oh my how lucky am I that her house where she lived with her British husband and British kids, was near the campus.

Now she's reaching out to me through dad and offering a room in their house so that my dad wouldn't have to pay for my dorm. I kindly rejected the offer-well not kindly- and said that we were better off without her help.

My dad could afford it, it's just that he wanted me to have a relationship with her again. Sorry but no thank you.

"I know how to cheer you up," Mark said

"Let's buy hot chocolate from the cafeteria, my treat" he smiled ridiculously

"Not in the mood"

"Come on!" he whined, grabbing my arm and gently shaking me

"You don't look happy, and I have a feeling you haven't had anything for breakfast yet" that is true

"You're ugly and grumpy when your stomach is not filled"

I glared at my best friend and playfully punched his stomach.

"Oh shut up, look who's talking"

"Hey!" he pointed at me

"I happen to be handsome to everyone's eyes. One girl said I looked like a Kpop idol"

I rolled my eyes, ok yes Mark is attractive but I never thought of him that way. He had this mysterious, dark, bad boy vibe going on him that girls love. I don't.

I actually find it irritatingly too perfect like how can be this person who forgets to wear socks sometimes and refuses to wash his hair after soccer practices, is this handsome. God surely has his favorites.

"Just buy my hot choco and vanish to your room"

"You mean our classroom, I've been seating next to you for fourteen years have you forgotten?"

I pushed him and pulled his backpack as I made my way towards the cafeteria while he walked backward.

The whole day was fast, since graduation is right around the corner our schedule got cut short until noon. We practiced the ceremony at the school's auditorium and I spent hours there watching Mark across the room imitating Mrs. Gerard as she spoke and tried not to get caught by Mr. Griffin-who walked around and surveyed each student on each row- as I laughed and clutched my stomach.

Mark offered to walk me and my bike back home which he often does.

We almost reached my driveway when we both noticed a Mercedes Benz parked in front of the house.

I heard Mark let out a long, low whistle.

"Didn't know your dad bought a car" he said

"Neither did I..." I squinted at the blue sticker at the lower right corner of the back window and suddenly a wave of realization splashed me

"That's not my dad's, that's a rented car" I laid my bike on the cemented side street and ran towards the door, barging inside my house with Mark trailing me behind

"Dem-" he said then stopped as soon as we both saw who was seated on the couch in my living room

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"Demelza" my dad stood up and later on the woman next to him did the same

"Hi," she greeted meekly, straightening her skirt

I looked at her from the top to bottom. Her same dark hair as mine was curled and pinned to the back, she wore an expensive blouse, black heels, and she held a Louis Vuitton handbag. I couldn't believe my eyes, how can she show up after all this time?

"How dare you come here-"

"Dem" Mark held me by the elbow, pulling me back

I turned to my brother, Sam, with a newly bought PS4 by his feet. I could see the confusion on his face while he looked at me then at the woman in front of me.

"So now you think you can buy your way into this family" I spat, she flinched back

"I'm not-"

"What? You're not what? Because from what I can see you are here to brag about the luxuries you can afford. Well I'm sorry to tell you but my dad can provide for us"

"Demelza, stop"

"Why?" I turned to my dad,

"Why is it so easy for you to forgive her?"

He didn't respond instead he sat back down on the couch

"You had no idea how much pain you caused him since that moment you decided to open that door and never come back"

"It's been ten years," my dad said

"Ok fine! You've moved on and I'm happy for you, proud even but I on the other hand" I pointed at myself

"It's not that easy to forget. You disappeared, poof! vanished! gone!" I said, doing wild gestures in the air. This is how I get when I'm mad, I can't keep my arms to my side.

"Demelza, honey I'm just trying to help"

I chuckled sarcastically, " Help? Then where was that in the past ten years?"

She stayed silent

"You left without looking back, you left when Sammy barely had any memory of you existing. You promised you'll visit, you promised you would write, you promised!" My voice started to rise, I could feel my face burning in anger.

"I waited every day by the mailbox in hopes for a letter to arrive, I waited every holidays and summer for that door to open and you would pick us up, I waited..." I swallowed

"You never came, you were away and I was this dumb little girl waiting for mommy because she promised. You broke my trust and I found it hard ever since to make more excuses for you."

"I'm still your mom Demmy," Stella said, taking a few steps forward and tried to reach for me but I took a few steps back.

"Maybe ten years ago you were, but I never got the assurance I needed and right now all I can see is the stranger that shattered my heart then stomped on it and now she thinks that she could fix it all of a sudden"

Tears ringed her eyes, she was shaking and I could see that. I turned to my dad who was rubbing his temples, my grandma clutching on the kitchen towel against her chest, and my little brother, tears continuously flowed down on his face and his eyes frantically traveled from me to her. I could feel Mark frozen behind me.

I closed my eyes, curling my hands into fists. Breathing shakily and forcing myself to not cry, not in front of her at least. I wasn't planning on giving her that satisfaction.

"If you want to help" I finally said, then held my chin high with my gaze unwavering

"You should just leave"

her mouth opened and closed, no words came out. She scanned my face for any signs that I didn't mean it but she couldn't find it. 

So she nodded, grabbing her purse from the couch. She patted my dad on the back, smiled at my grandma, and hugged Sammy.

I watched her do this until she reached me, she stopped and hesitated. She acted as if she wanted to say something but thought the better of it.

She turned away and walked past me. I heard Mark offering her to walk her out and when the door softly shut. I found out that I was holding my breath.

"Why do you have to be so mean?!" Sammy yelled

"Sammy-"

"Just stop," he said through tears before stomping off to his room

Without any hesitation, I went straight to the one place where I could think. The roof.

I sat while hugging my knees against my chest and looked down at our backyard. I heard the window to my room open, I didn't need to look to know who it was.

"You didn't have to stay"

"I have to, I live here" I turned to see my dad seating beside me

"I thought you were Mark"

"I told the boy to head home, you could talk to him tomorrow or use that thing you teenagers use these days"

"Facetime?" he waved off my question

"How are you feeling?"

"Awful" I mumbled

felt his hand on my shoulder, patting it. This is how my dad comforts me whenever I'm sad, giving me enough space but not too wide to make me feel alone.

"You know, your mom had reasons why she hadn't reached out"

"And what would that be?" I bitterly replied

"I understand the outburst. It's painful for the person you love just vanish into thin air leaving empty promises in your possession. But you have to know, those weren't empty promises, in fact, your mom worked day and night to fill it" I turned away from my dad, blinking the tears that threatened to come

"Stella might be flawed but she does love you. It's better to be late than never right?"

I nodded then rested my head on his shoulder, I finally let the tears flow and went full-on ugly crying. 

All I wanted was a mother to talk to when I'm facing problems, a woman who had the experience that could guide me on my journey to becoming one. I knew what she had to go through the hardships and roller coaster rides she faced, but it still pained me that I never got a simple 'hi, how are you?' from her.

I wanted to hear her voice and needed to hear her soothing words.

"You know it's still early, I could drive you to meet with her. What do you say bud?"

I sniffled, wiping my tears with the sleeves of my sweater "Alright" I say

The drive was short, my hands kept fidgeting on my lap, my knee bopping up and down. I felt nervous, I never had felt this nervous since the day I received the notification of the email from the University.

I seriously can feel my heart hammering inside my chest. If this doesn't cal, down, I swear my ribs could get broken.

My dad parked a tad farther from where she agreed to meet and he told me to go alone. 

Immediately when I arrived, I saw her back while she sat on the bench and watched the kids play. Suddenly I remembered her running towards me when I fell off the swing her eyes full of worry and she quickly scanned me for wounds. 

I blinked the memory away and sat beside her

"I'm sorry" I half-whispered to myself

"I'm the one who is sorry Demelza, you were right. I was never there for every big moment you had in your life, for your little brother. I didn't even bother to say hello to my own children, I practically just left. But that doesn't mean that I never wanted to see you. I felt ashamed when I had nothing, I wanted you and Sammy to have the best of the best when I finally faced you. I'm sorry it took so long"

I shook my head at her "We never needed that, what we needed was our mom" I said, shrugging.

"I know what I said earlier, and you should know I don't mean it, well most of it." my mom chuckled

"But like what you said you're still my mom and it's better late than never"

she smiled, and I gratefully returned it. She pulled me against her and hugged me tightly, now we were both pretty much ugly crying.

"I think we both had cried enough this day," I said against the crook of her neck then we pulled away from each other. She tucked my hair behind my ear.

"So, is Chris ok with me staying with you?"

She nodded right away "In fact, he's the one who pushed me to offer it to you"

I smiled "That's great"

"You didn't tell me that Mark grew into a fine young man" I faced her with an incredulous stare

"Mom!"

"What? He's kind and sweet, you two look great together"

"Eeew" I shivered

We both laughed at the end and spent a lot longer than we expected on that bench, catching up and sharing gossips here and there.

If there is one thing I learned from my story with my mom is this, time is everything we all need, time to become a better version of ourselves before we could be with the people we love. My mom needed that so she could grow into this amazing woman that I adore.

In the end, she did keep her word. And the wait was worth it.