Uninvited Guests

The night sky was fast approaching as two young men sped down the road on horseback. They had been riding hard since midday to escape an angry mob of villagers, and still the villagers pursued them.

“Okay, I have to admit Leon… this was fun at first, but now it is growing tiresome.”

“It is growing tiresome just now?” Leon asked. “Are you sure Devon? It didn’t grow tiresome hours ago, back when we could still feel our legs?” Anger and annoyance dripped from his words.

“Well it was somewhat amusing before.”

“You mean when they started chasing us, immediately after you shtooped the mayor’s daughter?” A sly grin crossed Devon’s face. “Yeah, that’s what I thought… and because of that we’re going to hang, or at least receive a severe beating when they catch us.”

“Oh Leon, you make it sound like it wasn’t worth it…”

“It shouldn’t have been worth it for you three hours ago!” Leon snapped. “It was never worth it for me you bloody horny toad!”

They galloped along, their horses gradually slowing. “Well there’s no use fretting about it now,” Devon pouted. “We just need to give them the slip.”

"And how do you imagine we do that? They’re following our trail on the road,” Leon pointed back in a sweeping motion towards the hoof prints their horses were leaving in the dirt road. “And they are only about ten minutes behind us, maybe fifteen if we’re lucky, and our horses are exhausted.”

“So we do what we always do,” Devon shrugged. “We improvise.”

“There is nothing here.” Leon exhaustedly exclaimed. “What could we improvise with?”

Devon pointed ahead casually. “How about that?”

Leon followed the point of Devon’s finger to see the opening to an isolated graveyard. Much of the graveyard was out of sight of the road; hidden behind thick trees, overgrown brush, tall hills, and jagged rocks. The entrance to the graveyard was a stone archway with an old iron gate. There were words carved on the stone archway, but they weren’t anything that either Devon or Leon could read.

“So we ride into the graveyard and let them follow our horses’ hoof prints in behind us?”

“No Leon,” Devon exclaimed as they approached. “We hop off our horses, take what we need off of them, give them a good slap to send them down the road, and hide in the graveyard while the villagers pass us by.”

“Leaving us stranded without our horses…”

“I admit, it isn’t a perfect plan, but it IS a plan. And it might do us some good to walk on our own feet for a bit.” Leon pondered the idea with a scowl on his face. “Better hurry up Leon, we’re about to pass it.”

“To hell with it, fine!” Leon yielded. “It’s better than being hung by our necks.”

Devon didn’t say anything. He just smiled his charming smile that seemed to get him lots of luck with the ladies, and in lots of trouble with their husbands and fathers. They came up to the gate and jumped off of their horses. The scant belongings and gear they had were quickly removed, and they both slapped their horses hard, causing them to gallop down the road.

“They’ll be able to give those villagers a much longer chase without us riding on them,” Devon exclaimed. “By the time the villagers catch them, they won’t have the foggiest idea of where we might have ditched our rides.” Leon grabbed Devon by the collar of his shirt and pulled him harshly into the graveyard. “Not so rough friend, this is one of my better shirts.”

“Worse will happen if those villagers catch us. We need to get away from the road and out of sight or we’ll have surrendered our horses for nothing.”

“That is a fair point.” Devon sighed, and they both skulked deeper into the graveyard and behind some of the trees.

Not ten minutes later a mob of mostly men, and a few women, came riding by. Most were on horseback, but some were in horse drawn carts and carriages. They were angry, and there was nothing subtle about their passage. For a brief moment, some of the mob paused in front of the graveyard. Devon and Leon, watching from behind their trees, froze.

“Do you think they might have gone in there?” a voice from the mob asked.

“That cursed place, doubtful. If they did then they’ll get what they deserve and then some.”

The small portion of the mob that halted in front of the graveyard gates resumed their pursuit after the now rider-less horses down the road. Devon and Leon waited for another fifteen minutes or so before making so much as a sound.

“Success!” Devon breathed a sign of relief. “We’ve thrown our quarry from our trail.”

“We were the quarry you idiot.” Leon slowly walked towards the gate, checking that the coast was truly clear. “Did you hear what those two were talking about, how we wouldn’t be in this cursed place?”

“Silly superstition.” Devon yawned. “It’s really all the better. It means that they certainly won’t check here on their way back. Though I expect that’ll be well into tomorrow, and we’ll be long gone by then.” Devon picked up his personal effects and motioned farther into the graveyard. “Come on then Leon, we should probably find a place farther away from the road to setup camp.”

Leon stalled for a moment. It was true that curses were normally silly superstition, but he couldn’t help shake this idea that the graveyard was a terrible mistake. Still, Devon was right that they should get away from the road. He grabbed his own personal effects and gear, and then reluctantly followed Devon further into the burial grounds.

Tombstones littered the grounds. Leon had been in cemeteries before, but there usually was some semblance of organization to their layout. Headstones were normally laid out in rows, or grouped together for families. But the markers of bodies were scattered about randomly and without apparent planning. It gave Leon an uneasy and unnatural feeling about this potter’s field. Devon stopped when he managed to find some sort of structure.

“I think this will be a fine place to setup our camp for the evening.” Devon unceremoniously dropped his bag onto the ground and started ruffling through his things.

Leon stood and stared at the structure. Its walls were made entirely of stone, roughly cut with very plain stained glass windows. The roof was made of shingles that appeared to be well into the process of rotting, and the doors appeared to be rust spotted iron. “Is that a mausoleum?”

Devon looked back at the building. “I doubt it Leon. I don’t think there would be any antiques or old artifacts in there. And if there were, I don’t think many people would travel all this way to view the displays.”

Leon’s thought process stalled while he tried to make sense of what Devon had said. “Not museum you dolt.” Leon retorted when he figured out what Devon was suggesting. “Mausoleum. A building for keeping the dead.”

Devon laughed. “Well that’s just preposterous. Why make a building for the dead in a cemetery when you can just bury them in the ground?”

Leon didn’t have an answer. At least, he didn’t have an answer that would satisfy Devon’s ignorance that would be quick and simple. Still, the presence of the mausoleum didn’t make Leon feel any better. A mausoleum took planning and organization, something that the rest of this graveyard was lacking. The fact that it was here did not make sense to Leon, and that was adding to his unease.

“We’re far enough away from the road, let’s just get a fire started before it gets too dark to see.”

“I suppose you want me to go collect some wood?”

“You suppose correctly.” Leon replied. “But don’t wander too far off. Even if the curse is a silly superstition, we don’t know what kinds of animals might be out here.”

“Fine, fine,” Devon waved a dismissive hand as he pulled a hatchet from his bag then wandered about in search of branches. Leon took the time to get out his flint and tinder, and to prepare some of the provisions to have a sparse meal. Devon came back as he was setting up a fire pit to cook with. “There are surprisingly few branches for an abandoned cemetery,” he said as he dropped what he had next to the fire pit. “But I imagine that these should suffice for tonight.”

Leon looked around. There were trees everywhere in this graveyard, and most of them looked to be very old. “This is all you found?”

“Well laying on the ground, yes.” Devon held up his small hatchet. “I’m not about to chop a tree down with this now, am I?”

“This will do,” Leon said, starting the campfire. He wanted something to distract him from the feeling of malaise this place was giving him.

“What’s for dinner?”

“Beans, cheese, hardtack, and cheap wine.”

“You really know how to woo a man.” Devon pouted.

“Be happy we have anything at all Devon. We wouldn’t have had to leave without getting better rations if you hadn’t been so cavalier with your pecker.”

“Cavalier? I am offended good Leon. I was very careful to make sure the young woman enjoyed herself.”

Leon began to speak, but stopped himself. Despite, more often than not, being a dimwit, Devon was gifted when it came to talking. The problem was that if Leon did not keep him under control, Devon would tend to talk himself into trouble he could not talk himself out of.

Or in many cases, like this one, copulate his way into trouble that neither or them could talk their way out of.

“Bowl.” Leon demanded of Devon when the beans were ready. Devon handed his bowl over and Leon served a good heap into the dish. He also placed a piece of the dry cheese and hard tack into the boiled beans. “There, a feast fit for a lecher.”

Devon gave Leon a powerful scowl. Devon knew well what he was, but he didn’t like to be reminded of it. Leon portioned out some of the food for himself and prepared to eat.

“Might you have a bit more to share?”

Devon and Leon both jumped from their seated positions, both nearly spilling their food. At the edge of the fire’s light, there was a figure barely more visible than a shadow.

“Sweet merciful heavens,” Devon coughed, trying to not choke on the first bite of his dinner. “You almost scared us half to death.”

“We thought this place was abandoned,” Leon explained. “Who are you, the groundskeeper?”

“Groundskeeper? Oh no. No, no, no, no, no. My name is Url. I happen to live in these parts. Please, could you spare me some of your food?”

“You live in these parts?” Devon asked, looking over at Leon.

“Around this graveyard?” Leon continued.

“Yes, yes. I do. Would you please share some of your food?”

Leon and Devon glanced back at Url and then back at each other.

“We don’t have any other dishes to serve you with…” Devon began.

“Well,” Leon interrupted, and Devon gave him an odd glance. “No bowl anyways, but if you don’t mind, I could serve you up some in a tin mug.”

“That would be fine. Yes, yes, that would be fine. Please, thank you.” Url muttered.

Leon retrieved a mug from his bag, and carefully placed some beans, cheese, and a bit of hard tack in it. “Here you go.” Leon said while holding the cup outward. Url did not move from his place in the shadows.

Leon and Devon waited a moment before Devon spoke up. “Don’t you want it?”

“Oh, indeed I do. Indeed I do.” Url shifted on his feet as he spoke. “But… the fire. I don’t care for the fire. It frightens me.”

Devon and Leon shared another uncomfortable glance. Devon nodded towards Url, and Leon nodded. “That’s fair,” Devon responded. “We can bring it to you. Go on Leon.” Leon gave Devon a glance that could shatter glass. Then Leon slowly got to his feet, carefully palming Devon’s small hatchet with his free hand as he did so. Ever so slowly, Leon approached Url, with the cup outstretched.

“Here you go.” Leon said when he got within reach of Url. Url took it from his hand, quick as a blink. It was so quick that Leon barely got to see Url’s hand. Leon flinched back, and backed away towards the fire. “I’m sorry if it has cooled off.” Apparently that did not seem to matter, as both Devon and Leon could clearly hear Url devouring the contents of the mug.

When Url finished eating Devon and Leon could hear him panting, trying to catch his breath. “That was good, quite good. Yes, thank you.” Url said through heavy breaths. “But I am still quite hungry. Quite hungry indeed. Do you have any meat perhaps?”

Leon glanced back at Devon and game him a look. It was a look that Devon was very familiar with. It was a look saying that they were in trouble. Though Devon was used to seeing that look after something he had done to get them into trouble.

“I’m afraid you’ve caught us at our best.” Devon answered. “We had to leave town early and were not able to secure better provisions.” Devon grabbed the wineskin and took a draft from it. “We’d be more than willing to share more of our food, and some of our wine… though I have do admit, our wine is not great.”

“No, no, no,” Url began to shift again, rocking back and forth. “No wine. No beans. No stale cheese. No hard bread. Meat, Url needs meat. Are you sure you don’t have any meat?”

“I wish we did,” Leon answered. “It would make the evening more pleasant.”

“Yes, yes, much more pleasant.” Url stopped rocking back and forth. “Actually, you might have meat. Yes, you might have meat indeed, should you care to share it.”

Devon and Leon looked at the shadow of Url with fear and tension. “We have no meat to eat, good Url.” Devon slowly pulled a dagger from his bag, and Leon pulled a short axe from his to go along with Devon’s hatchet. “We only want to be left to our own devices, we want no trouble.”

“Trouble, trouble? No, no trouble young men.” Url began to circle the edges of the fire’s light. “I just want some meat… some meat to eat. You say you have no meat, but that isn’t entirely true.”

Devon’s face twisted in confused agitation. “What does that mean?”

Leon’s mind was connecting the dots, and his face went pale as everything came together. “Shit, we’re meat Devon.”

“Yes, YES!” Url’s voice elated as Leon’s revelation was shared aloud. “Indeed you are meat, and we are ravenous, most ravenous indeed.”

Devon’s face turned from agitated confusion to disgust and horror, but Leon’s attention was caught by the word, we. Leon suddenly took his attention away from Url and looked around the dark surrounding the fire’s light. The dull glow of eyes catching the fire’s light surrounded them.

“Ooooooh shit.” Leon slowly began to back away to the mausoleum that they had made camp near. “Devon, look around. This was a really bad idea.”

Devon took his attention from Url for a moment, and saw the eyes, slowly closing in on them. “What in the hells?”

“Don’t worry…” Url stepped into the light, just barely. His clothes were torn and tattered, his skin was grey and taught on his bones, and his eyes had a transparent look about them that reflected the light of the fire back at them in a ghostly glow. “We don’t play with our food, no. Bad manners to do that, very bad. But we are hungry, and we need to eat. Yes, need to feed. Don’t worry about the fire. We will take care of it… yes, we will take care of that fire.”

There was a sound, a grunt, and a whistling as something flew through the air. For a brief second Leon saw a large wooden pail fly through the air, filled with water. The pail landed squarely on the fire, bursting with a deluge that enveloped the flames.

And then Devon and Leon didn’t see anything at all.