Family of Strangers

I woke up staring at the trees gently blowing outside of my window, the sun was shining through the top window and made a direct line right to my bed. I could hear the birds chirping outside the window. It seems like it is a family of them outside. They are pretty loud this morning, I wonder if they are somehow thanking God for another day of not having to worry about what they eat or where they will sleep. But, that is just my thoughts early in the morning, because God is the only one that knows bird talk.

The sound of the phone startled me as I was in deep thought this morning. Oh hello, I said clearing my throat so I could be heard. The voice on the other end came in soft yet familiar. “Hey sis I was calling to see if you would come to a dinner I am planning with the sibs.” huh,? I replied, could you repeat that, you want to try and get us all together at the table for dinner again, do you remember what happened the last time? Before, you answer that and get all sentimental with me. Well, yes sis, my answer is yes I would love to come to dinner with everyone, it has been a long time.”Awesome, she replied I will call back with more information, see you soon bye”.Ok bye, I hung up the phone and immediately started to regret my yes that I had given so quickly.

The last dinner we had with us all together was a complete disaster. Everyone was still holding a grudge from years ago and no one knew why. There was a lot of storytelling at the dinner table, each person taking turns telling their side of the same story. It was brought up at the table about what happened on the night that our mother had passed away. We were all grown up now, and some of us were more grown than others but, the wounds of the past had followed us to our adult years. I am the youngest of five and so my understanding of what happened has to come from them but they were never able to all have the same story.

The story goes that mommy woke up one morning and she did not do the normal things. We heard the tv on that was the most normal thing. It was always set on the channel of Dr. Welby MD from the night before, so the news would be blasted through her closed door in the morning. Mommy had a cough that morning and she was coughing up blood with shortness of breath. She was taken to the hospital where she passed away with a pulmonary embolism. That is the short form of the story I was told, but either way, it has never been told the same to me in years.

The phone rang an hour later. “hello” said the deep voice on the other end, this time it was my brother Paul but we called him beno. Hello, I replied what’s going on? Did you get the call from sissy? Are you going to dinner? “Yes, I am,'' he replied. Things are happening too fast now and people are dying". "We have to stop this.” Yes, I agree, did she give you a day and time for the dinner? “Yes she did and it will be tomorrow night at 7PM at sissy’s house.” Cool, I replied I will be there so I will see you soon bye. “Bye,” he hung up so quickly the dial tone was ringing in my ear before I hung up. Finally, on the day of the dinner, pulling up to the house it looks like we all showed up. All the cars lined up the driveway, from what I could tell they were in baby-born order, funny how we always did that. Sissy had hired a chef for tonight and that is who opened the door when I rang the bell. From what I could see we all had the same idea and came with a business casual look.

I loved the fact that we were all willing to be at one table again. The table was set beautifully, sissy had flowers at both ends of the table, there were candles everywhere and dinner was set up in the middle family style. Soft jazz music played in the background it sounded like Najee the saxophonist. Sissy had outdone herself today she had one of everyone’s favorite foods there. There was chicken, mashed potatoes, sauteed green beans, salmon, and salad with all the different dressings we all loved. She even had dessert there as well, just a small banana pudding and a homemade cake that was leaning just a little to the side, must be homemade I thought to myself with a smile.

After we all sat down there was a clink with a fork on a very expensive looking glass at the far end of the table. Cole was there and he wanted to make a toast and also say the dinner prayer. “I would like to make a toast and then I will say the prayer.” “Let us pray,” he began. I knew that this was the cue to close my eyes but I just couldn’t do it, although I had my camera I didn’t want to make it obvious clicking and moving around the table with my phone, so I took them with my eyes. I was praying that my mental camera would keep these images for me because I didn’t know the next time this would happen for us. “Amen,'' he said finally and we all lifted our heads. Then everyone started grabbling for the different trays with the food on them and fixing their plates.

The atmosphere was thick enough that we could have used the knives we had there to cut it. We were all family on paper, but strangers in person. We had all taken the past weight and carried it here to this table during dinner. It’s funny how a piece of paper demands that you are connected even if you don’t feel that way. Finally, I stood up at the table, the youngest of five holding back tears. Mommy would not have wanted this. She would be so upset that we have let the past consume us to the point that my friends are closer to me than all of you are. Among us, there are so many hopes, dreams, and talents that we don't know about each other.

“Where were you?” sissy cut in when you got old enough to be around us on your own”? “Do you know that since you were the youngest you were the first one picked by the aunts and uncles?” she put up air quotes. Since we were so much older than you everyone thought it was ok to let us fend for ourselves. They immediately put us in foster homes while you had the luxury of sleeping in a normal bed that you didn't have to fight for or share with anyone. Despite the stories that have been told about that night I do have a problem with that. “Yes!” they all chimed in “you have no idea what we all been through”

Stunned by this conversation and the way it quickly went left. I just stood there with my mouth wide open trying to figure out what to say. Finally, with tears running down my face soaking the bow on the shirt I wore specifically for this occasion. I calmly said to all of them with a tear-filled voice, I was two years old to your teenage years. What did you all expect me to do holding my hands out for effect? We are sisters and brothers on paper only, I pointed to each one of them, and strangers when I talk about you to other people. I sat down again abruptly, shaking the table putting small ripples in the water in each glass.

The room got eerily quiet. Everyone started eating again just the sound of the forks hitting the plate and my sniffles filled the room. Silence now told more than anyone else was willing to share.