Spring In My Step

I'm kind of bored, why did I come on this walk anyway? I guess I can just turn around and go home, but I don't really feel like going back. My legs are feeling good and I haven't been out in soooo long. What's that smell? It reminds me of camping...but it's not a campfire or something like that. It's too rainy. Rain! Of course! I love the rain. I miss rainy campouts from last summer. They were so good. I miss my friends. They were also very good. I should call them. But not right now. Right now I want to keep walking but also that smells so good is that KFC? Ugh, why did I even come out if I didn't have KFC money? Whatever, continuing on, I don't want to stay on this street. There's a pretty park over there. Maybe I'll cross. Ugh, this light is taking so long, maybe it's a sign I should just go home. Oh, never mind, it changed when I said that so it must be a sign I should go to the park. It's really pretty with all the trees, and there aren't any cars or KFC over there. Why does KFC always smell so good? I'm not even in love with it, it just always tempts me when I'm helpless. Oh, shoot, there are only five seconds left and I'm only half-way across the street! I don't want to look stupid, don't run, walk, walk, faster, fast! One second, time to sprint it! I'll just forget I did that now. This park entrance is really pretty. Kind of gothic. Why didn't I go to school for architecture? Maybe I would have made more money. Then I could go out to eat more often. But whatever, I guess majoring in liberal arts is ok. I can do so many more jobs. All of the jobs that won't hire me because I didn't major in anything specific. That tree is really pretty. I wish I had a childhood like other kids. Where they would climb trees together and have parties with popsicles. Instead, I read books and watched movies that I didn't understand. It's a good thing that childhood is fleeting, I was more prepared for adulthood anyway. I miss my mom, I should call her later. These flowers are really pretty, I should pick them. No! That's such a bad idea! These flowers are part of the park! Whatever, I can probably find some flowers like this that I'm not going to look crazy and ruin something what was I thinking about? I don't remember. Um, well the sun is almost set, I should probably head back soon. But there's a bench up there. I wonder if any homeless people have slept on it. What if I end up homeless someday and have to sleep on it? It's pretty. If it was in a house form it would be really nice. But it's a bench. What about rain? Speaking of rain it still smells like rain, maybe I should've brought a jacket. I wish we had the technology to just keep dry hair in the rain. Then I wouldn't mind being out in the rain in the middle of the city. I don't want people to see me with wet hair. I should go see my friends sometime, they are fine with my wet hair. They make fun of it being frizzy, is that a good or a bad thing? I always thought it was funny, but what if they really think it looks stupid? Or maybe they just make fun of me because they know I think it's funny. I wish I had one of those romantic moments where the boy comes up and says something and then you ask why and they say it's because it makes you laugh and they like that laugh. Nobody likes my laugh. It's loud. I don't even know any boys that aren't dating my girlfriends. What's wrong with me anyhow? Why do I only talk to people who talk to me? Why do I care whether I talk to people? Why do I feel so in between and calm but also stupid and weird? Do I have friends or did I make them up? Maybe I did. Wouldn't it be so weird if this life was just a simulation? What if we just woke up all of a sudden and it ended. Like, instead of being in a pretty park I was in a dark room all of a sudden. What if people don't look like people and they have like four heads or what if I can't even comprehend what we actually look like outside of the simulation? I don't know if this is legit though, I wouldn't even know. Hopefully there's life after we die, so I can know whether this was a simulation or not. But what if that was just another simulation and we'll never know. What if something crazy happened right now? Would I do anything? Would I know to do anything? What if a guy jumped out with a knife right now. Maybe I would just scream, or maybe I would talk too much, or maybe I would say just the right thing. Or maybe I'd be tomorrow's news and end up dead before I had the chance to try and do anything. Before I had the chance to do anything about life either. Was that a drop of rain? Maybe it was my imagination. I can't ever tell. I'll wait for another one. Maybe I've been waiting for too long. Have I been waiting for any time at all? Has it been ten minutes or ten seconds? Should I keep waiting or should I keep walking? I've already been waiting this long, shouldn't I follow through? But if it was just my imagination I am wasting so much time. Are other people crazy like this? Maybe I should take one step and see if that feels right. Or what if another drop falls right when I start walking. But what if another drop falls right in front of me and I barely miss it. Why am I still just standing here!? If it is even raining I should go back home, but I want to stay here but I want to go get food but I don't want to walk back home. Oh! Another drop of rain! I should go home. My legs are tired. I came from that way, here we go, turning around and heading off. Back home we go! What am I going to do when I get there? Will I have wet hair? If I do get a lot of rain I should take a shower. Why would I do that? Oh yeah, if I'm already wet I might as well be clean and wet. I really like having wet hair and fresh pajamas and a cup- no a mug of hot cocoa. Do I have marshmallows at home? I think I still have some left from winter. Maybe I don't want hot cocoa, it's not winter anymore. Maybe I should just heat up some pizza. I still have at least two pieces from last night. What did I don last night? I don't remember. Maybe I should start keeping a journal. Then I can remember everything I did. But I don't think I'll be able to remember what I thought about. That's kind of sad. I think a lot but I don't remember what I think about. What good is thinking? I wish I had someone special to think about. Instead, I'm thinking about how good KFC smells again. I should have gone home in a different direction. Maybe it wouldn't be too expensive...no! The last time I gave in to a temptation like that I felt stupid! I hate feeling stupid. I'm going home, I'm taking a shower, I'm getting fresh pajamas on, I'm reheating pizza, and....and...I don't know what next. Maybe a movie. What should I watch? I don't feel like watching something sappy, but I also don't want something boring. I kind of want a live-action but I haven't watched animated movies in so long. I kind of miss cartoons. I never really watched cartoons, but my siblings did before I moved out. I miss them. I should go visit. I don't remember my old address! I don't remember my address now. What is my address? Why do I care? I should have a party so I can tell people my address. Who should I invite? Are people going to come? I can't have it today because it's raining. I want to turn on my heel to go up the street. I should try skipping. I never do funny things anymore. But winter's over, everything can change. I could add a spring in my step.