Delirium or Dream

Kyle rests back into the hospital pillow and lets out a sigh. 

“The doctor wants to keep an eye on that temperature of yours.” his wife says. “How do you feel?” 

“I’m comfortable now, Sara. A little sleepy, I think or…”

“Kyle, the nurse gave you something to help bring the fever down because it was so high. She said you might drift in and out before it comes down. The nurse told you all that before, but you just rest easy. I’ll be here when you wake.”

“Okay, sounds good. I’ll just close my eyes for a bit then.” Kyle’s breathing soon becomes more rhythmic. - Sara turns back to the book in her lap.

Kyle opened his eyes to stare at the ceiling of his green camping tent and, rolling over, looked down at the other inhabitant, his dog Dingo, snuggled next to the sleeping bag. Putting a hand to his forehead in confusion, he says, “I feel like I was somewhere else a minute ago.”

Dingo raised her head and blinked the slumber away. “Where?”

Kyle looks at her, “I’m not sure. I think I was really sick, lying in a bed somewhere.”

“Sounds like a dream to me.”

Giving Dingo a gentle scruff, with a smile, he says, “You’re right. I’m sure it was; let’s have some breakfast!” He unzipped the sleeping bag, and they climbed out of the tent to stare at the sunrise. Kyle felt a little fuzzy about why he would be out here and looked down at Dingo, “What’s our plan today?”

Dingo interrupts her bush sniffing to glance over at Kyle. “How ‘bout we go into that town we passed?”

Kyle pointed to the nearby path. “That sounds like a great idea, and we can grab a little breakfast there. What do about that?” 

The path made a half-circle around town from the south to the north, ending a short distance from a café. Dingo and Kyle met a few people out walking the path that morning and one older guy riding a mountain bike. He slowed to pass-by and, looking at Dingo, stopped. “Is that a Kelpie?”

“She sure is. About four years old, maybe. Her name’s Dingo.” 

He dropped a hand for her to sniff and said, “Hey, Dingo. Are you friendly?”

Kyle was about to say, “Very.” but Dingo had sniffed his hand and was already leaning on his leg. 

The mountain biker pushed back his sweaty white hair, dismounted his bike so he could crouch next to Dingo. He sunk his fingers in Dingo’s fur and, with a grin, turned his face up to Kyle to share his happiness. “Is she smart?”

“She’s super smart. In fact, that’s the smartest dog I’ve ever seen.”

The mountain biker nodded and turned back to Dingo. “I’ve never met a person as friendly and open as a dog, and I’ve met many people.” Almost as if speaking to himself, he continued: “I have about 50 people working for me in my business, and I have three dogs at home. My dogs never meet people with callousness or any kind of pretense. It seems like all people are hiding behind something, kinda like a mask. It’s almost impossible to see beyond that invisibility cloak. With some folks, it’s possible, but it’s always there. Dogs don’t have anything like that. You might think it’s the person, but it’s just the thing they hide behind. It’s like some façade they want you to see. They think the mask makes them invisible, but it just makes it harder to know whom you’re talking to.”  

The mountain biker said, “Well, thanks for letting me pet your dog.” He stood up as if he’d made some monumental decision and mounted his bike to continue up the path. He turned back with a “Good-bye Dingo.” 

Kyle continued up the path. “That was really nice to meet another dog person.”

Dingo fell in to step with Kyle wagging her tail and a ghost of a smile in her eyes. “It was, but it sounded like people had let him down. Human expectation often does that, though. People always seem to have some motivation or expectation in friendship. Still, there is nothing other than the expansion of the soul. Love that looks for anything besides it revealing its secret is not love. He probably just got distracted by something.” Demonstrating distraction, Dingo stopped to sniff a bush next to the trail. 

Kyle asked, “So, he was focusing on the mask he was talking about, instead of, as you put it, expansion of the soul?”

Dingo looked both ways on the trail, maybe to make sure she wouldn’t be heard. “Yes, it seems he got distracted. Let me ask you, Kyle, what is a friend if you seek them out with hours to kill instead of hours to live? If it’s hours to live, then expansion of the soul just naturally happens. The point is if your focus is on something fruitless, then you will be rewarded with something fruitless. Here’s one for you: Think of your friend like a plant in your garden. You’d be grateful for harvesting any fruit, but if you planted the seed for that fruit, you might be even more grateful.”

As they continued, Kyle got quiet as he examined his previous and present friendships for anything other than ‘expansion of the soul.’ He planted very few seeds and found he often got distracted by some façade. He inquired, “How would I not focus on illusion and then go after some fruitless distraction?”

Dingo glanced back at Kyles’ question. “Simple. Just don’t. You choose your focus, just as you choose your distractions.” Dingo turned towards Kyle. “It’s kinda like meditation; maybe your focus is watching your breath. A distraction comes along, like what’s for dinner or paying some bill, but you see it and just return to your focus. The distractions arise almost endlessly, so at first, you may find you have to return to your focus continually, and you may find this truly challenging while you’re talking to someone. Eventually, though, it becomes easy to remain with your focus. If you, however, allow yourself to be perpetually distracted, fruitlessness will always be the result. Staying with your focus is the goal here. Whether the movement is away from some façade or towards some shiny object makes no difference. They’re all distractions and hold power to draw your focus.” 

Kyle struggled to understand. “It’s like you’re pointing to some aspect of friendship that I never realized was there, and now I have to learn a whole new way of relating. This all seems extremely complex.” 

“It’s not, at all. Looking at friendship in this way just requires a tiny shift in focus. Observe dogs interacting to see how simple it is.”

They reached the end of the trail just as the conversation came to a close. Kyle headed toward the café patio. Settling into a chair at an outside table, Dingo found a good spot in the shade to lay down. The waitress spotted him and was soon standing near with a menu. Kyle smiled and reached for the menu but missed. His attention went to the hand that should be holding the menu.  As he had trouble seeing it, he brought the hand a little closer to his face noticing he had another hand in his. The other hand belonged to Sara. He looked around the dim hospital room. 

“Sara?”

“Yes, I’m here.”

Dazedly, Kyle asks, “Where’s Dingo?”

Wrinkling her brow in confusion, she says, “She’s fine. She’s at home. Why?” 

“Dingo was just here, talking to me.”

Sara moves her other hand to his forehead. “Sweetie, you’re in the hospital. Remember? You’ve been asleep for hours.”

“I guess that was just a dream then.”

Sara reaches for her thermos and says, “Sure it was. Are you thirsty? The nurse said your temperature came down a bit.”

“Yeah, I am thirsty. Thanks.”

Sara poured a little tea into a cup and placed it in Kyles’ hand. “So, Dingo was talking? What was she saying?”

“She was talking about how lots of people maybe have some sort of protective façade, and how not to get lost in the distraction of that façade. I think she may have been referring, also, to those masks that everyone is wearing now. And she was talking about how the skill in meditation is related to not getting distracted by any façade.”

“Wow. She sounds super wise. Was it kind of like a bark or a growl?”

Kyle shook his head, saying, “Nope. It was just a regular women’s voice, but it sounded like pure insight if that makes any sense.”

“It does, and it sounds like you two had a great conversation, but she’s back at home right now. Our neighbor is going to check in on her. She’s probably asleep right now, and maybe you should try to rest some more too. I’ll wake you when they come around with breakfast. I think it’s about midnight now.”

Kyle put his cup on the bedside table and, nodding his head, relaxed back into the pillows. “Maybe I have a high fever, but that conversation seemed real.”

“I’m sure it did, but you need to sleep for a bit more.”

Kyle closed his eyes and coasted back to sleep. 

Sara nudged him awake as the nurse came around with breakfast. “How’d you sleep?”