Spark of fire

"It was a long day. And I am preparing for the nationwide entrance exams to achieve the goal to become someone who I dream to be. Going to coaching classes were hard for me. Maybe I sound like an introvert, or a person who is not confident at all about herself. Yes, it might be a right introduction for me. I still don't know what my dream is. I like to write. Yes, writing has always been like the best companion in this world. And I dream off to be a person who can well manage her time to work on her dreams in different fields. Yes, I like to dance, sing, read and quite everything. So, I am that kind of person whose mind would scatter around this whole planet, roam around the Antarctica, see the bright lights of North, without even moving an inch from where I am. You see, when you get to know me, you would understand that I am an insensible person. I believe that if you keep on learning you can achieve everything. And that passion is the fuel for happiness."

And those words were there right infront of me, a diary entry just before the NOOT exam 2020. A fellow friend of mine. She gifted her life in the form of diary to me. I didn't know that she would be this famous now. I didn't know that she would become a person who I could never imagine to be. I have always seen a spark inside of her. She was so beautiful. And honestly, I think she deserve to be successful as she is now, given her personality. That beautiful girl man! If only she remembers me now.

Back then when we were really close we would chat about literally everything, about our boyfriends, sex and exes. To see her in the spotlight, makes me kind of proud and also happy. You know, good friends should be happy about their people's success. She was right though, that passion is the fuel for happiness. Gosh that was a really hard time. Oops I forgot to introduce myself. I am Preeti Singh, interning at ARMS, my colleague and my dearest friend Swetha Dey, who is this country's most famous person. She is a social media influencer, YouTuber, Model, Singer and Composer of her own music, Lyricist, Writer, and THE TOPPER OF NOOT 2020. She really went out for all of her positive points, not to mention that she is excessively talented. God was really unfair though, to make a perfect person like her. If only that thing didn't happen between us, we would have been as close as we were earlier. But I still look upto her.

Just like everyone, I was also kind of loved her and her popularity, even when she was a nobody, everyone was happy to be around her. But little did I notice about her life's sorrows. She was a kind of person who would hide her feelings to make others happy. I thought that her life was perfect, even before she topped the NOOT 2020. She was like an angel to everybody. Nobody spoke ill of her. She was a model student and perhaps she still is. But she has got kind of modern now, given her lifestyle. So I kind of feel distant now. Like she's from a different planet. And I dread to make first move after all that has happened before a year. Yes, it has been a year since I've talked to her. And you might wonder, how did I end up with her diary. Back then we were besties. And that she would write for me. She was so enthusiastic when it came about writing. She would depict me as if I was a kind of important person to her. Maybe I was, but now I have no confidence. She has changed a lot and I wonder how many people she would have met. And that how small I would be compared to others in her life. Even thinking about her makes me happier. She was really a good friend to me. When everyone would treat me as an outcast, she would see me as if I was a leading star in a movie. And her writings about me were so captivating.

And now that I am interning with her, I should make some efforts to mend those mistakes. Maybe much time has passed and maybe I might have been replaced. But maybe there's still a chance. So, I mustered up my courage and went to see her, Sweatha Dey, that charming person. Yeah, I was so in love with her charm, without knowing myself I started to depend on her and also I kind of became envious of her popularity. And without knowing, I was competing with her.

I would always ask her for help. I would cling on to her. I would become super obsessive that whenever she would talk to somebody else, I would fight with her. I would compare myself to her and I started to become more like her. But she was always kind to me. One day I made fun of her in front of my other friends. Saying, "you just want people's attention. You don't even care about me". She burst into tears and stopped talking to me. I always wanted her help whenever bottom hit me, but when she needed help, I would belittle her worries saying, "Huh, I don't think there's any difficulty in your life. You shouldn't worry". And yeah just like every other person, who would believe that if someone is famous, they must be happy, I was also believing the same thing. I was not there when she was preparing for those entrance exams. She said she wanted to study at the best college, and then I would belittle her by saying, "get the cutoff first". And I guess, now I know, how hurting my words could have been. After somedays, when I insulted her infront of my friends, she appeared with her diary. She threw it down saying, "Oh, you sure you know everything about my life? You think I'm happy and that I've got no worries? Read my life".

And after reading everyday's entry, I came to realise about everything. Her hardships, assaults, pressure for doing better and wearing a smile when everything went down. I came to know everything she faced. After that, she never talked to me. But she always believed, "if someone has talents, they should show it, otherwise what is the use of those talents?". Yes, I have done some terrible things. But I want to reconnect with her. So I'm going to talk to her. 

So I stood infront of her desk, waiting for her to come. She came, wore a smile as usual. She said, "You came finally!". I don't know what I should say. But tears started flowing down my cheeks. Then I finally said, "Hi!". She hugged me tight. And enquired about my well being. She said, "If only you didn't hurt me... Damn I loved you girl! I haven't written anything worthy. I haven't written anything Which involved feelings, all this time!" Then I cried, "Then write it down with burning passion my dear, doctor, model, singer, dancer, explorer!". She said, "Let's catch up with our lives. And let me make you the protagonist of my plot! Let me know your feelings! I'm so inspired to write. These feelings that have been accumulated, I want to show off. I want to show off our reunion and also our friendship!". I cried, "Sorry, my love. I'm sorry!". She consoled me, "Don't you dare! I'm already happy having you back!"

She said she would use me as her protagonist. But little did she know, that she was the protagonist of my life, all along! That spark of fire, I hope it burns until we die.