Tonight we drink

We were in the bar where my life had changed one year before. It was an odd place to celebrate a funeral, and still, convenient. It was dark, and close to a good alcohol supply. People would know what to do once the service was finished, and the poor lighting would be a perfect prelude for the dark night they would enter hours later.

When we entered the place, the little silver urn on the counter reflected the light from the street as if someone were blinking at us. It did not suit him, the silver. I would have chosen a mate black, something less shiny. He was not a bright star, not when I knew him. He liked to control things from the shadows, to move the strings without the pressure of the spotlight. Whoever thought that was a good choice did not know him, but I recognised the spot in the bar. That's where I first saw the real him, when I lost myself once more in his dark green eyes. Now, he was only ashes inside a little, shiny box.

Around us, there were people I knew and many I didn't. I tried to hold Alexander's hand, looking for support, but he was no longer behind me. He was speaking to Lilith, the crying widow, the one everyone wanted to console, hug, and save from whatever haunted her. If only they knew what kind of creature she was.

"Vega, please join us," said Lilith, showing me the way to some chairs.

I nodded, smiled, and remembered how many times Amir had told me it drove him crazy. He admired people who could say whatever was in their souls. He did not like compromise or fake pleasantries. He should see me know, in my best behaviour, holding Lilith's arm, doing small talk, strolling among the crowd like I belonged there.

No one else but Alexander and I knew what had happened three days before, how I had finally succumbed to my new reality, to my upgraded nature and ripped Amir's neck, only stopping when his heart stopped beating. I did not care for Alexander's screams and pleas to stop. I did not mind the tears in my prey's eyes. I sucked every drop of life in his body and felt the power in mine. Never had I felt more alive than when having a dead in my arms.

It was meant to happen; I was meant to rise. After all, that's why Amir promoted me: to take matters into my own hands and trigger change. Lilith, though, was not happy. "Kill him," she had told me the first time I met her, but she did not mean it. I know that now, the same way I know she loved him, no matter how many times she said she hated him.

Alexander had not spoken much to me since that night. He had helped me dump the body in the same place Amir had disposed of the lifeless Ezra months before. To me, it felt full circle, poetic. I was ending something he should not have started, but Alexander seemed scared and looked at me like I was a monster. He did not understand; he couldn't. No one had forced him to do anything. He was there because he liked me, and before knowing what I was, maybe he loved me... who knows what things could have been between us if he had not seen me kill our boss, but I couldn't change that. I did not want to, either. I did not feel bad about what I had done. Why should I? After what Amir had done to me... and Lilith, who I believed and took for a friend.

I sat beside Lilith. Alexander sat by me. An old man I'd never seen brought the little urn to a dark wooden table in front of us and took some papers and a pair of glasses from his pocket. He looked at the audience and smiled at everyone. All the voices I had been listening to, that had been flooding my mind, suddenly disappeared, like someone had played a mute button I did not know about. It was the first time in a year I felt like that, in peace. I looked around. No one was moving. Everyone stared at that old man, and so did I. He was wearing a dark red suit, which did not seem appropriate for such an occasion but fit him perfectly. His grey hair was combed back. His skin had barely any wrinkles, and his dark green eyes seemed to have lived a million lives.

"You really thought it would be so easy?" I heard loud and clear, though no one was speaking.

Why? I thought. No one was moving; they looked like wax figures staring at the infinite.

"I needed you to step up; I only realised you'd only do it if I was the one to step on."

You wanted me to do it? To kill you?

"I wanted you to believe in yourself, to know you could do it. The fact of not being able to kill me is just a small detail."

This will never end, right? You'll keep on coming at me no matter what I do.

"It matters, darling; of course it does."

You should not call me darling.

"It's true, but what would be of us if we only did the things we were supposed to? I would be sitting by my wife's side, and our lives would be ... different."

Suddenly, Lilith's hand grabbed my wrist. Her eyes were lost, and so was I when I saw her digging her perfect nails inside my skin and the blood sliding down my hand. The perfect drops of blood touched the floor, and I tried to shake her off, but the more I moved, the more her nails sank into me.

Make it stop.

"Me? I'm not even here."

Make it stop, please.

"And then, what?"

Then, we'll drink for you; someone will take that stupid urn out of here, and we'll figure it out.

"What will we drink? What will you offer?"

There's a lot to choose from here, you should not worry.

Lilith removed her hand from my wrist, and the noise started again. I watched my skin close and step onto the blood on the floor. The green-eyed man smiled and thanked everyone for gathering there to say goodbye. I heard the noise of the door locks and knew what was about to happen.