In Plain Sight

She said yes! This is the best day ever! My heart has grown a size and a half since I met Yanah, the love of my life. She came from an abusive relationship with a slime ball named Jake Letterman, alias -- Jake the snake. Tommy is her three-year old son. I’ve accepted him as my own. There’s nothing in the world that I wouldn’t do for either of them. I scooped her up in my arms and spun her around giving her a passionate kiss on the lips. “I love you, Deon!” She hugged me tightly as if she never wanted to let go. I proposed downtown at the city park where we first met.  

While taking a stroll in the park one day, we were met by a guy selling homemade energy drinks that supposedly gave you an extra boost to make it through the day. There’s a loud bell on his truck and he passes through like an ice cream man, from time to time. As much as I work, I figured I could definitely use some. I went through and picked the best ones, then I saw a few small red and blue bottles in the corner of the box. I turned the red one all sorts of ways observing it. “This red one here will lift you off of your feet. It may be too strong for you. And the blue bottle does the opposite of the red. It’s for those who have too much energy.” “Nonsense. Let me get it.” “Fine. If you don’t like it, there’s a 30-day trial.”

That evening, I stayed at Yanah’s until she was ready for bed. I kissed her good night and was on my way. I tried the drink driving home. Quite a kick it had! Just what I needed for work tomorrow. I parked in the driveway and started walking towards the front door through the fresh blanket of snow covering the ground. I hate walking in fresh snow, ruining it with footprints. I looked back to see the footprints that I figured I was treading, but noticed something weird. Footprints covered only half of the distance between me and the car, which was about thirty feet. No recent prints were behind me. I walked onto my porch and looked backed once more and the same thing -- no footprints in the snow behind me. I shook it off and went in the house to call my baby Yanah and tell her about my weird snow experience. I guess the signal was bad because I could hear her, but she couldn’t hear me. I told her I loved her just in case she could hear, then I was off to bed for the night.  

Exiting through the garage for work the next day seemed like a superb idea because of last night’s traumatizing nightmare, or shall I say "snowmare". I arrived to the office and greeted Benji the secretary, who ignored me like she always does because I won’t give her the time of day, LITERALLY! So no red flag there of course. When I arrived at my cubicle, I placed my things on my desk, and said good morning to Tammy who sits next to me. She continued typing at her computer, never even bothering to turn her head and look in my direction. I hoped this wasn’t about the little disagreement on Monday when I suggested that we make the snowman outside of the office a female so I could add snow boobs to it and dress it in a bikini. If so, that would be very PETTY! I gave her time to herself and went to make my coffee.  

“Cold day isn’t it, Thomas?” I asked as he faced the coffee maker adding cream to his cup. His back remained towards me as he slowly stirred his coffee with that little red straw. He lifted the cup, turned right, and walked off towards his cubicle, never speaking. “Thomas!” I walked behind him hoping he had a Bluetooth in his ear maybe, headphones or something, even wax, with my heart fighting against what I so didn’t want to believe could possibly be happening. It was as if he didn’t or couldn’t even see me. 

He sat down at his desk and gazed at his computer while continuing to stir his coffee. At this point, “It’s an office prank,” I’m reassuring myself. “Yea we do this a lot, uh huh! Joking around at the office. Today’s prank: Ignore Tim when he arrives. Ok, no biggie!” I tried one last act to get his attention. I took his coffee from his desk as he stirred. He looked at the cup in amazement as if it grew wings and flew into the air on its own. With his eyes the size of quarters, he scrambled from his seat with a screech floundering to the other side of the office knocking books and other desk apparel onto the floor into a scattered mess.  

Everyone came to his aid to see what the issue was as I continued holding his cup of coffee. I looked at them and saw that they were looking bewildered and amazed towards me but not at me, only at the cup as if it dangled in the air from an invisible string. I stepped to the left, their eyes followed it, then back to the right and they followed again. “Guys, it’s me. D..d..d.. Deon!” with desperation apparent in my voice. The only response, unfortunately, was panic slowly filling the office.  

My heart is now pounding uncontrollably, sporadically, my lips numb and trembling as adrenaline rapidly rushes warm blood to my hot, flushed face. I’m now feeling disconnected from reality as I suddenly realize that they can’t see me because.... I’m invisible. I scrammed from the office out into public, walking out in front of cars, walking up to cash registers in stores, and yelling in the middle of the mall, but no one noticed any of my many failed attempts at being counted among the living. The cars kept coming leaving me the option of dashing out of the way or dying, cashiers skipped over me, and people walked past me just like I didn’t exist.  

The red drink and the footprints in the snow that suddenly disappeared came back to my mind and cut my soul like a double-edged sword. That was the moment, the moment that I... disappeared. Is that what he meant when he told me the drink would “lift me off of my feet”? I had to find him again, He had to reverse it.  

I called Yanah on my cell phone. I could hear her perfectly well, but she couldn’t hear me again no matter what I said or how loud. I went to her house that evening, hoping that she could see me if no one else could. She carried on like I wasn’t even there. Tommy was with his grandmother for the next two weeks, so this was supposed to be our time. Devastated, I watched as she called my phone repeatedly pacing back and forth to the window waiting for me to show. How could I prove to her that I was there except by touching her? I imagined an invisible person making contact with any part of my body and the heart attack that would follow. So I kept my distance. I watched her lay down for the night and didn’t leave until she was peacefully sleeping.   

I had a mild sense of consolation when I got home to my mirror and found out that I could still see my own reflection. In the days to follow though, I became more and more discouraged. I’d come check on Yanah every night and watch her fall asleep. I was shut off from her and shut off from the world. A dead man walking would’ve gotten more attention. I felt so utterly alone. I WAS so utterly alone.

Some days later, I sat on a park bench as a child about 2 or 3 years old ran up to me. “Hi”, he grinned. He was the first to speak to me in days, if it was actually me to whom he was speaking. “You can see me?” He grinned again and threw a large snowball that hit me smack dab in the midst of my forehead and exploded like a firework. Not wanting to miss out on the fun, his friends joined and pummeled me relentlessly. That was the moment when I realized that young children could see me! I’d stop at the park to play with the kids from time to time since they were my only social interaction, the only ones who noticed me. One lesson I’ve learned is that you can be in a crowded room full of people everyday of your life and still feel alone if you never interact with them. I made sure that I smiled and waved at kids in public afterwards, leaving parents with bewildered looks. Maybe they thought they were playing with their imaginary friend. I couldn’t wait for Tommy to get back home. Maybe he could explain somehow that I was there, but would she even believe such coming from a three-year old?   

Being invisible has its advantages in some ways. You can get revenge on people you don’t like, do things that others will get blamed for, even scare the heck out of people! One day, I knocked a man in the back of the head after a dispute with the guy standing next to him. I subtly slipped away and looked back to notice the two of them battling it out. Wasn’t me! 

I went to work and watched my supervisor discuss terminating me because of too many absences. The next day when I returned, I found out that he replaced me with my worst enemy, Jake the Snake. Luckily, I had magical powers that frightened my “replacement” away from the office for good.  The mysterious ankle caresses and footsie games beneath the desk were the final straw for him. He said, and I quote, “Too many strange things going on around here.” I don’t know why I struggled to hold my giggle as if they could hear or see me.

One day, while Yanah was working, Jake showed up with a few of his buddies, I’m assuming, to taunt her. With jeers and snickering, they swarmed around her like buzzards waiting for a helpless animal to succumb to death’s grasp. She yelled uselessly for them to get away. They all laughed and sneered while closing in on her. One of them pushed her one way, and another shoved her in a different direction as I walked upon the chaos. All of a sudden, Jake stepped forward, grabbed her by the collar, and raised his other hand to strike my Yanah. The enraged feeling that came over me as I beheld this vicious monster attempting to harm the only woman I've ever loved. Thinking fast, I stepped up and grabbed his wrist. Imagine feeling a tight grip on your wrist and seeing no one in sight, your large, surprised eyes bulging from your eye sockets, fist raised as if frozen in the middle of a protest. Well that’s what he looked like and experienced.  

The whipping of his life ensued. I wonder what they thought of a grown man being thrown around, punched, knocked, slammed, and stomped by what appeared to be no one. I imagined that it looked like really weird, awkward dancing taking place with no music to accompany it. His buddies stared in shock and amazement as his body contorted, twisted, and jerked as if an exorcism was being performed. Cries of panic, a few yells, and an “oh my goodness” could be heard as I mercilessly beat the crap out of him. The blood streaming from his nose petrified the surrounding scumbags and compelled them to disperse. Yanah looked around frightened and bewildered. She had been abandoned by the mob and out of harm’s way while Jake lay half unconscious on the floor. I wanted to touch her, stroke her hair, hold her and tell her that she was safe, but I knew she’d be afraid. I watched her as she hastily grabbed her purse in a panic and fled. At least they’d never bother her again. 

Tommy was finally back home and would be there when I’d come over. Of course you know why this thrilled my soul. I knew he could see me. Whenever he couldn’t sleep, I’d go into his room to keep him company. Sometimes I’d rock him to sleep so he wouldn’t disturb Yanah. Then I’d go check to make sure she was sleeping before I left each night. The deep sighs that I took having to leave her each night didn’t ease my heart any.

Downtown, I saw the man who resembled the one I bought the drink from. Desperately, I pressed my way through the crowd to get to him. I hate that I knocked a few people down trying to get to him, but I’m sure they blamed each other. I reached him and grabbed him by the collar only to find out it wasn’t the same guy. I apologized for scaring him half to death, but of course he didn’t hear or see me when I jerked him around to face me. I asked people there if they had seen him recently, only to find out that I'd missed him the day before. If only I could find him. If only I could turn back the clock, I wouldn’t have drank it. Or maybe I should’ve bought the blue bottle too. I wondered how many other lost, invisible souls, because of his drinks, wandered the streets unnoticed, unseen, ignored by the many people going about their daily lives.

One night, I went to Yanah to check on her as usual. She called my phone and checked the window again for me. I knew she felt abandoned by now. Finally she fell asleep peacefully as always. Once again, I longed to touch her, resisting, however, for fear of frightening her.  

But this night…

Unable to stand it any longer, I crawled into bed behind her. For the first time in weeks I touched her face, her soft, smooth skin. She was so beautiful. Risking it all, I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her to me as she slept. Tommy appeared beside the bed. When he noticed me cuddling his mother, his bright, red lips curved into a smile. Yanah, caught somewhere between a state of sleep and consciousness, pulled my arm more securely around her, never fully waking. Subconsciously aware that she was lying in my arms feeling my touch, she smiled. 

“Mommy, I want to sleep with you.” Tommy’s mounting on the bed startled her from her sleep. Then abruptly, her smile was erased with a look of panic. From the stillness of her form and the pounding of her heart, I could tell that she was frightened, paralyzed with fear from the conundrum of being enclosed in someone’s arms, yet seeing no one. “Tell her not to be afraid,” I whispered to him, cognizant of the fact that he was my only communication between us. “Don’t be afraid, Mommy,” a reassuring expression on his face. “Deon won’t hurt you.”  

All of a sudden, I felt her gradually begin to relax in my arms, limp as if captured once more by sleep. She noticed him staring past her near the area where I would be if I was visible. “Can you see him?” her eyes longing and hoping for a desired answer. “Yes. I always see him. My friends do too.” He reached and put his hand in mine. Cupping her mouth with her hand, she began to tear up and cry. “Can he hear me?” “Yes, and see you too.” He brought over a hand mirror from the dresser and held it up in our direction. I had no idea that others could see my reflection all this time. Beholding my face in awestruck wonder through the glass, she returned back to her despondent sobs while uttering an, "I love you" through her cries. I consoled her, overjoyed that she could see me one more time. I mouthed the words back in return. Although she couldn't hear it, I knew she could feel it from my embrace. I pulled her closer to me as we laid down to sleep.   

Some distance away, I could hear the bell sounding, parting the silence, with what seemed to be the sound of hope and promise. This time… I wouldn’t miss it for the world.